Domestic Violence Victims Should Leave The Perpetrator

Domestic violence is an epidemic and the number one health concern in our country. There are more abusers and their victims compared to past years. As a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship, domestic violence is used by one person to gain or maintain power and control over another one. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, and economic abuse and not look the same in every relationship because every relationship is different. This kind of abuse affects people of all ages and sexes, socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds, education and employment levels. Abuse towards children and the elderly can be violent or aggressive behavior. Thus, there are many types of abuse that one can suffer; awareness of the signs of domestic violence is especially important before getting into any kind of intimate relationship.

“Being a victim is supposed to set you free; it acquits you of any agency, any sense of responsibility to the person who did you harm. It’s not your fault, they say. Leave him, they say. Nobody ever tells you what to do if leaving isn’t an option.” Imagine how a woman, especially in the 1920’s, felt to be in this position.

Domestic violence, alternatively referred to as Intimate Partner Violence, is defined by the Department of Justice as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.” While domestic violence is commonly thought of as only physical or sexual abuse, domestic violence can also be emotional, economic, or psychological. Domestic violence has remained constant in society throughout history, even though over time society’s response to the issue has changed. While domestic violence affects everyone regardless of race, gender, age, etc. it is estimated that approximately 90% of all victims are women. For the purpose of this paper, I will be focusing on

Many people are perplexed by the unwillingness of victims in abusive relationships to abandon the tumultuous environment, even when given an opportunity to escape. Outside of personal, subjective experience friends and family can learn why and how this helpless mentality develops and most importantly, ways in which they can help.

Many women and men seek intimate relationships in order to fill their emotional needs of security, safety and love. Their journey starts off with their loved ones spoiling them with flattering gifts and emotional words. The love they feel is so wonderful and deep that they believe that nothing can come between them. They are so happy and convinced that they will live happily ever after with the one they love. Unfortunately, the fairytale they have dreamt about was only temporary and soon comes to an end. The love story they have ones longed for turns into a horrible nightmare. The emotional words they were once spoiled with turn into howling screams and name-calling. The flattering gifts turn into physical abuse. This relationship is referred to as domestic violence or intimate partner violence. This happens when a partner or significant other declares power, authority and control over the other partner. To maintain this authority and control, the abusive partner uses emotional, physical or sexual abuse over his victim (Alters 27). Victims will desperately look for an exit out of this relationship, but only to be blocked by numerous walls of the despair, fear and misery. Many people are convinced that victims have the option of leaving, but they are too weak and they choose not to. What many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers. In most cases the outcomes of leaving are

Many feel if they seek help, the abuser will find them and it will only get worse. The victims need to feel safe, or else they are not going to use the programs to receive help. As both of these articles reveal, these programs are not working. On the contrary, “The Seriousness of Domestic Violence Is Exaggerated” argues that it’s not because the programs are ineffective, but that it’s due to the increase in social services available. However, due to the countless studies that were done, it has been proven that this domestic abuse is a problem. Moreover, there needs to be more effort taken into putting these programs into action. Improvements in how the programs are put into practice need to be made, since how the programs are put into practice now are not efficient

“Domestic violence is a type of abuse by one or both partners in marriage, friends, family, dating or cohabitation” (Aziz & Mahmoud, 2010). There are many forms of abuse from verbal and emotional to physical that often escalates over time in intensity for the victim. Data from the criminal justice system, hospital patient medical records and mental health records, police reports, surveys and social services reports of thousands of women revealed that many are injured and killed as a result of violence from someone close to them. “The US Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender” (Robertson & Murachver, 2009). Researchers and the criminal justice system have not been able to agree on a clear definition to domestic violence which can range from physical injury, stalking, verbal abuse and humiliation, denial of shelter and access to money, and intimidation through aggressive behaviors. The definition of domestic violence may vary but the results from physical injury, mental and emotional trauma, and sometimes even death can last a life time.

Women will continue to suffer from domestic violence unless there is some sort of intervention to help them. When dealing with this population, it is essential to create a safe environment where the woman can talk freely about the abuse without any retaliation from the abuser. When someone comes into a therapeutic session, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care. This in turn will create a sense of hope that a different type of life can be possible. Also, knowing that there is a support system can help the woman begin the process of change. Despite this, the process of leaving the abusive partner is slow (Warshaw, n.d.)

Every choice that an abused woman considers to do with regards in seeking help or ending the relationship involves a variety of risks. Time and time again, the common question arises, “why doesn’t she just leave?” Most often abused women, at great and potentially fatal risk, do leave their abusive relationships. However, there is a multitude of barriers, including increasing abuse and the potential for re-victimization by the system that does not respond accordingly, and most often force many women to return to their abusers. A woman may become vulnerable as she goes through the stages of leaving her abuser. There are many reasons why a woman becomes vulnerable; guilt, denial, and fear may be among a few reasons, though no matter what the

Some women take the position that “hope springs eternal” for people in love and they shouldn’t be held accountable for the abusive spousal choices they make. That is precisely the kind of romantic notion that men and women cling to and use to seduce them into staying in relationships in which there is abundant evidence that they should leave. Often friends and parents try to intervene but when “hope springs eternal” obvious dangers are overlooked, denied and women tell themselves something like, “If I just love him enough, he’ll change.” Battered men usually say exactly the same things. “What is needed in situations of verbal and physical abuse and danger is not romantic fantasy but a critical and self-protective assessment of the facts followed by a decision based on those facts”(Walker 17).

Domestic abuse is a startling issue in today’s society, and there are many different forms of it. Domestic abuse is defined as “the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another” [1]. There are numerous forms of domestic abuse, including both physical and emotional violence. Many people who are trapped in these toxic relationships often feel helpless and worthless, and may think they have no way to escape their situation. However, with the right guidance and support, they can free themselves and emerge as a stronger person.

Domestic Violence is a common pattern of aggressive behavior inside the family, typically between intimate partners. This type of violence includes not only physical abuse but also sexual abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, and financial abuse. According to the CDC "on average, 20 people per minute are victims of physical violence by an intimate partner in the United States. Over the course of a year, that equals more than 10 million women and men"( "The National"). In this paper, I will discuss the warning signs of abuse, how the abuser justifies his actions, why victims stay in abusive relationships, and how the victims can protect themselves.

Victims of domestic violence, stay in these toxic relationships for numerous reasons. Money plays a major role in intimate relationship, regardless of there is abuse present. Money is used as a form of power. If a woman is solely dependent on her partner economically, she is less likely to chose to leave the relationships. In these cases, the victim figures that it makes more sense to stay and endure, than to leave and struggle. From the findings of Tonsing, we see that children are also a determining factor of whether or not woman will stay in a violent situation. Breaking up a family effect more people than just the victim and the abuser. Alternatives also play a major role, if a person thinks that he/she has little to know alternatives they are most likely to stay. The interdependence theory supports that we will not leave until a better alternative presents itself. Being alone is an alternative to a domestic abuse victim, if an individual has no resources they may view that being alone is worse than their current relationship outcome. This is a result of the isolation that many battered victims encounter, they don’t have many friends, or a support system to depend on. Like the findings of Merrill and Wolfe, victims of domestic abuse are often hopeful that things will just miraculously get better. There is often a misconception that people who are in relationships for many years are happy. You never know what is going on inside of someone’s home. Happiness is not a matter of how long a couple has been together, in cases of domestic violence, this happens when the victim just learns to live with the unhappiness. Although much research has been done to explain, why an individual chooses to stay or leave a domestic situation, it is highly

Every year in the United States, One in four women are victims of the domestic violence; however, this is only based on what has been reported to the department of justice (Stahly 2008). While men are also victims of domestic violence, women are more often the victims. Moreover, 90% of domestic violence is male initiated. In severe cases domestic violence ends with victims being murdered. More specifically, domestic violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in the United States in 2007, and 70% of those killed were females (CDC 2012). Many people think that victims have the option of leaving and many people blame victims for putting up with the abuse; what many people don 't know is, victims of domestic violence have many reasons preventing them from leaving their abusers, these reasons include, isolation, having children bounding them with the abuser and lack of financial support. "It 's never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when a prison gets shut down," says Dr. Steve Maraboli (qtd from web). Whether a victim stays or leaves their abuser, the outcomes of both situations are not always as easy as many people predict. In some situations, the outcomes of leaving may be very dangerous for both the victim and her children.

Many abusers threaten their victims with physical harm or even death. These threats are believable and taken quite seriously by the victim. When attempts are made by the victim to leave, the abuser usually escalates the violence, Threatens to kill the victim, children and himself. Out of fear that the abuser may carry out the threats, the victim will stay in the abusive relationship (Herbert & Ellard, 2004).