Don 't Me Like A Bull On Steroids

It was dark and alone and I felt the need to cry. One by one everyone I have ever loved showed up. My mom, my sister, my late girlfriend, my grandma… I could go on. Their eyes were on me and only me. I was the only stimulus in the room. The yelled at me. I was irrational . I had put them in a situation where they didn’t even know me anymore. I was the monster under the bed and I was the reason why people were scared. They yelled so loud to the point where I didn’t even know if they were screams anymore.

I heard a feminine voice call out to me as I blazed out the front door. "Good morning Amber! Oh, where are you--" I cut her off with a sharp slam. I couldn't look back. With each step towards my car, I inhale painful sobs of air. I feel as if I don't know who I am, as if I was that 18 year old girl hearing the news of his death for the first time. I couldn't think of the name that belongs to me, or any one else but my father. Any face my subconscious offers had the resonance of a total stranger, then was replaced with the haunting image of

I stumbled through the door and immediately fell to my knees crying. I curled up on the floor begging someone to take away my pain. I screamed, literally and metaphorically, for help. I needed someone to understand the feeling of doom and drowning and emptiness and lifelessness that tormented me.

The smell of Hand wash and clean towels fill my nose as I stand next to my Father on a hospital bed. I hold is old soft wrinkly hands in my smaller shaky hands and I listen to the slow but steady heartbeat .Beep .Beep. Beep. Beep.Silence fills the room. At first I don’t realize what happened but, nurses and doctors flood the room as if there was a tsunami chasing them. And all becomes clear. I'm brought back to the real world by the sound of the elderly man's calm and soothing voice. “Miss are you okay?. I break down in tears at the checkout and all I can hear is the calm soothing sound of the old man trying to comfort

My family was nowhere to be found. I rummaged frantically through the debris as I was tormented by terrified thoughts that rushed through my head like a raging hurricane. Those screams had belonged to the people surrounding me, but a new terrified scream wafted by my ears, and i realized that this one had erupted from my own clogged-up throat. My vision blurred as my eyes pooled up with moisture, and streams of tears cascaded down my squalid cheeks. I could do anything for this to be over, for all of it to be over. The dreams. The visions. Everything. I wished for an end, and escape: I couldnt take this anymore.

My mind needed to calm down, the bar seemed like the perfect place to go, but I couldn’t go there, I wouldn’t end well, it never does. The car seemed to start without me touching anything. I was too tired to drive and it was very clear I wasn’t capable to drive, but the car had already started to move. The highway was bumpier that normal, the cars were going faster than they were supposed to, something was wrong, very wrong. I pulled over to the side of the road and called my lovely wife, Betsy, she didn’t pick up. Normally fear wouldn’t overtake me, but I know something was wrong. She was the one in that ambulance.

I sat by his hospital bed, but I couldn’t look into his eyes, for fear that the once warm glow in his gaze had been taken and replaced with a cold dead stare. It had been a long road down to get to this point; each step just got worse, everyone getting weaker till they snap. At first I was numb, I couldn’t consider the thought losing him, to live a life without my hero. When dad came home with the news, when all the cards fell down and the walls burnt and charred till they didn’t exist. I felt nothing. I know that there should have been something else there. Everyone around me was sinking, but I was staying afloat. I didn’t know that I was just paddling for my life in a sea of reality. I was in safe mode, refusing to accept the truth. I wasn’t ready to lose my father.

The sun had just begun to set behind the tall pine trees, as I began my drive home. I rolled my windows down to feel the crisp, chilly November air. The cool air made the hairs on my arms stand up like the quills on a porcupine’s back. I leaned back into my seat to enjoy the ride. The sun quickly disappeared and was soon replaced by the moon. The black asphalt of the road began to glisten like a calm stream under the moonlight. My truck seemed to glide across it like a boat on a river. I turned up the radio to distract the thoughts about work that were racing through my head. I was ready to make it home to see my family. I began to climb a steep hill as I saw what looked like two glowing eyes coming over the top of the mountain. As the eyes drew closer, I realized that it was a semi truck. The truck began to cross the yellow line and head straight towards me. My mind began to race and think of options of what to do. However, time was not on my side. I began to spin and roll down the steep hill. It felt as though I was a towel being flung around inside of a washing machine. “I am going to die”, was the only

I had to yell out or scream. I did. I had called for my loved ones who I knew were safe at home in Sussex. I ran. I ran until I could not run anymore. All I saw were blue bricks and a wooden ceiling rushing past. I was tired and all I could do was fall down on the floor. I stared at the ceiling. Waiting to die. Then when what felt like hours had gone by I heard a faint tapping in the walls. It is as if

The day was Tuesday, March 1, 2016. I had stayed home from school that day due to a “migraine”. My mind was numb, empty. My body had imprints from my sheets; I was glued to the only place I felt comfort. My mom offered to take me out to enjoy some of my favorite things, pei wei and hastings. Usually, I would be up before I could even say yes. But on that day, something big and scary was keeping me from simply eating and looking at dumb mugs and keychains with cartoon characters on them.

Help…Someone help! God make it stop! My lungs became filled, my heart stood still, pounding in the momentary silence. I laid alone in the darkness, as no one came to my aid in the seemingly near-death struggle. My body quivered and shook as my mind turned against me.

As I was about to fall asleep, I heard a faint noise that resembled a sound similar to weeping. I sat up, unsure whether someone was crying or not. As the sound became more clear, I recognized that the cry was coming from my sister, Christine. Anxious to know what was happening I tip-toed to my door and tried to listen in on a conversation downstairs. I could hear the voices of my mom and dad. Although I could not make out every word, I was certain I had heard the words “hospital” and “hurry.” My heart began to race, my hands grew cold and numb, my vision was blurred. Panicked, I jumped back into bed. I could feel the formation of sweat all over my body. My frigid room soon felt like a sauna. Unable to close my eyes, I jumped out of my bed, ran out of my room and sat on top of the stairs. I could feel my heart pounding all across my body. I felt a sensation flow through my body that I had never felt before or could even describe. As I sat on the top of the stairs, I watched as my mom put a coat onto Christine, who

All the sudden I have woken up in a little tight room. I start screaming for help, but no one can hear me. I relies I can’t move. My hands are all chained up. There’s a wooden bar around my neck. I start crying more and more. I start screaming for my mom. I then get louder and louder. Until I relies no one can hear me. No one is going to save me, not this time. My body still shaking I can’t focus. I can’t

Dressed and packed with everything I needed for school, I walked out my door with my head facing forward. On my way, walking to the train station, I had a tendency of looking around and paying attention to the littlest of things. I saw old pieces of worn-out furniture in the streets ready for pick up, people walking out of their houses holding a cup of coffee or books in their hands, and cars driving on the streets. As I came to a stop at one particular street cross, I waited for the crosswalk light to turn to the white walk sign. When I attempted to cross the street, I saw a blur of strobing lights pass in front of me; it was a blur of flashing red, white and blue lights. I realized that it was an ambulance that raced by. At that moment, I felt an ominous feeling that made me momentarily paused. Curiously, I glanced over the path of the ambulance. I saw that it stopped in front of an ordinary nail salon, where my friend Brian was living. But, that curiosity was forcefully shut down. The urgent need to arrive to class made me, fearing I was going to be late for class, restrained my curiosity and I ran towards the train station. Little did I know, something terrible occurred.

I opened my eyes. I was laying down on my back on a hard mattress. I could barely move my stiff body. All I heard was chit-chat. I began sweating horrifically, my mouth was filled with sawdust. For the last breath I thought I had, I yelled, “Help!” The room goes quiet. I heard footsteps approaching me. A lady with pale skin, a blonde ponytail and a weird looking hat appeared in front of my eyes. In a soft voice I muttered, “W-w-where am I? W-where 's my family?”