Early Adult Relationships

Love is unique in its striking ability to be a driving force in dictating interpersonal relationships. It patterns behavior and orients individuals towards their distinct, unique attractions. According to Velleman, love penetrates deeper than one’s qualities; it extends to one’s rational will, or the essence of a person. To him, though love appears to have particularity, it is also a moral emotion. Kolodny subscribes to the relationship theory, asserting that an ongoing, interpersonal, and historical relationship with a relative is a part of the reason for love. In Kolodny’s view, the existence of the true self is irrelevant, as is the morality of love. Both Velleman and Kolodny disprove the quality theory; however, their perceptions of love and its morality differ. I believe that Kolodny is correct in his view that morality is irrelevant to love and that there must be factual reasons for love. Although it is enticing to believe that one is attracted to the essence of another, the essence is not motivation enough for love. The relationship theory takes into account the motivation needed to love a particular person from a historical, interpersonal, and ongoing perspective.

When one looks at romantic love, one would conclude that it is a social dyad that brings about certain responsibilities between two people in a relationship such as honesty, protection, openness and expressions of love. (William, 2008: 76). Contrasting with

Robert Sternberg created his triangular theory of love based on three dimensions: passion, intimacy, and commitment. The degree to which a relationship demonstrates these three dimensions determines the type of love relationship. People begin love relationships with those who care for them as children. These early relationships can have a great effect on their adult relationships.

In the movie Casablanca, directed by Michael Curtiz, two different kinds of love are exposed. The love relationship between Ilsa Lund and Rick is a more passionate relationship while the one between Ilsa and Victor Laszlo is more intimate. Love is composed of different feelings and because of that it can be expressed, as seen in Casablanca, in different ways. “The Intimate Relationship Mind”, a text by Garth J. O. Fletcher and Megan Stenswick, helps support that claim providing a scientific background on how love is shaped by those different feelings. It says that “love is composed of three distinct and basic components that each represent evolved adaptations; namely, intimacy, commitment,

The program that I work for holds a provider breakfast once a year to acknowledge us, provides us with certificates of service and a special guest speaker joins us. This particular speaker was inspirational, insightful and was a pure delight to listens to. It was on June 7, 2014 and the guest speaker name was Sherry-Lynne Kirschner. The topic of her agenda was “What id Mindfulness”. She started off with a little metaphor about how nature is in away just like our mind, body and soul in the way they need nurturing and care. I cannot remember exactly how it goes and wish I had the privileged to hear it again. I have used this in relation to how nature and children’s needs are similar in the way of life. “To some people an acorn is an acorn, nothing more than just a nut. To others it represents potential. This tiny seed has the ability and the necessary elements to become the giant, majestic oak that has come to signify strength. When the proper conditions are provided, the little nut will thrive and grow into an impressive adult tree providing oxygen and shade as nature intended. The most important factor to the budding tree is the environment”. Like all living things, the acorn needs care and an ideal place to call home to be able to develop and blossom properly. This is also true for humans. By providing a secure, healthy, caring and positive environment for an infant to grow,

The human idea of love is quite possibly the most misunderstood in today’s society. Love can be between a man and woman, mother/father and their kids, or even really good friends. However, these relationships of love go through many interactions and stages to start and progress. Many psychological events must occur and be worked through in order to be successful. All relationships must endure the five perspectives of human behavior. These perspectives are biological, learning, social and cultural, cognitive, and psychodynamic influences.

necessarily in order either. In my paper, I will be talking about how this couple demonstrates the

If two people are together for a couple months and feel close about each other but have yet to think about future commitment is a form of like. If two people are planning to stay together and continue to maintain a healthy sex life but do not feel very close to each other, then it is a form of fatuous love. If a couple feel close, have a strong sexual desire, and connect emotionally but have not discussed about future plan yet, then it is a form of romantic love. On the other hand, if this feeling appears randomly and not always the same, then it is a companionate love. However, if you only have physical and romantic contact with each other but nothing other than that, then it is a form of infatuation. If a love is nothing but only commitment then it is a empty love. Nonetheless, if a love lasts 6 years and still contains all the elements, then it is a consummate love.

One theory of the formation of a romantic relationship is one put forward by Byrne and Clore called the reward/need satisfaction model. They suggested that we have relationships long term because we find them rewarding, or we don’t like the prospect of being alone.  The rewards from a partner can include friendship, love and sex, or the particular person is associated with pleasant situations so then we want to spend time with them and form a romantic relationship. This can also include the satisfaction from a relationship with a person of high social status, as it would make you look good to other people. These needs can differ from person to person

Hazan and Shaver (1987) proposed the theory that ”Romantic love is an attachment process.” (Hazan & Shaver, 1987), which the individual will experience differently depending on the attachment history that has been formed by the internal working models based on the social interaction with caretaker as an infant. According to Bowlby, these internal working models are essential for attachment patterns throughout life from childhood till adult love relationships (Fraley, 2010).

Marriage is a true testament of ability to withstand a person’s overall being. A strong marriage is a marriage that incorporates not only love but also having the complete form of love, consummate love. According to A triangular theory of love, consummate love is having all three components of the triangle: passion, intimacy, and commitment (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).

Sharon Olds in "True Love" wonders about a true meaning of love in her uniquely written poem about a married couple. She hints that true love is about belonging to one another. That belonging or self-possession is reflected via ties of marriage. She further says that children, which are a product of marriage, only tighten marital bonds even more. The speaker starts her poem by describing two people having sex and looking at each other in a “complete friendship”. However, as much as the poem at first seems to have a positive meaning, the message appears to be quite opposite. In fact, “after making love, we look at each other in complete friendship" (2-3) sounds odd if used when describing the love between friends with benefits or a married couple. Friends with benefits contribute to unhealthy relationships that they are in, which is built on lust and only physical desire. Her poem, perhaps is an ironic portrayal of true love. A true love, if it even exists, is very difficult to preserve and can take a different turn especially within the marriage.

Sociological perspectives explains love relationships as not perfect but a working progress. A commitment which relies on continuous maintenance and reassurance. Love relationship practices and investments are configured in experiences that will be shared in the past, present and in the future.

As humans, building relationships between others is a form of connecting and communicating. It is a social situation that is experienced every day through the course of a lifetime. The initial relationship that is made is between the mother and the child. This bond that connects two people is known to be called attachment. The theory of attachment begins at birth, and from that, continuing on to other relationships in family, friends, and romance. Attachment is taught through social experiences, however the relationship with the mother and her temperament are the key factors in shaping the infants attachment type, which

Early adulthood is the point in a human 's life where he or she is able to establish intimate relationships as well as friendships. Studies suggest that one is not fully developmentally complete without the formation of intimate relationships, for without them a person would become isolated and develop a fear of commitment, and likely, a mistrust in other people. To be able to form such intimate relationships one must have appropriately progressed through the earlier stages of life successfully.