Eating Disorders: A Personal Narrative Of My Life

Samantha Callahan, Department of Psychology, Lindenwood University; Danielle Patrick, Department of Psychology, Lindenwood University; Sara Roderick, Department of Psychology, Lindenwood University; Kahla Stygar, Department of Psychology, Lindenwood University.

The film “Dying to be Thin” followed the cases of several individuals who have struggled with an eating disorder at some point in their lives, showing the different factors that play a role in eating disorder onset. Different individuals in the film have different reasons for developing an eating disorder but there are some over-arching themes such as the media’s influence, career-related pressures, and certain personality types.

My junior is when my obsession with my body spiraled out of control. I was constantly counting calories and setting new weight goals. All I thought about at this time was what size I could fit into and how little I would look next to other people. I knew this was not healthy. I noticed a change in every aspect of my personality. I changed from my bubbly, extroverted personality to an anti-social, nobody. People started telling me I was too skinny, or I needed to eat something. I immediately became offended. After all my hard work and stress of reaching a weight, people wanted me to change. I was instantly confused by my life. I did not understand why all of a sudden everyone’s opinion mattered to me.

In today's society, there is much attention being given to the subject of eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia; unfortunately it is because these disorders seem to be becoming more and more common. The question that remains is whether eating disorders such as these are simply personal problems of the individuals, or if they have become a social problem that needs to be addressed more aggressively. Having grown up in this society, I see this issue as a definite social problem. To say that these increasingly common eating disorders are personal problems, implies that the causes of them are personal as well, which I believe is not the case. A social problem is something that goes against society's goals and values; it would seem

A year after I learned about my eating disorder I was put back into therapy and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. During my therapy sessions I had to tell my new therapist about where I thought my depression came from. I had to retell my story of my parents’ divorce. It was then that I remembered Koko Bear. Later that night, when I came home, I searched for Koko Bear. I was reminded that not everything is my fault. The bullies, the eating disorder, the depression and anxiety. None of it was my fault.

I have something to tell you. Her six words echo and millions of questions flash in my mind – What is it? What’s wrong? What happened? Is she okay? I would never have expected that the next words out of my best friend’s mouth would be I have an eating disorder. An eating disorder? At the time, I barely even knew what an eating disorder was or how to respond in that moment. Bulimia. This news was like a bullet to my chest. Again, questions raced through my mind – How long? What does this mean? How severe? What do I do? What do I say? How can I help? At age fifteen, one might have heard of an eating disorder but most likely never experienced it firsthand. I cannot imagine the extreme amount of courage that it took for her to tell me this, but

In this school I became friends with the “ popular girls”. They didn’t accept me for me. The called me fat. They said I wasn’t pretty enough. They called me it so much I began to believe it myself. All I wanted was for them to like me. I did everything I could in order for them like me. I called my grandparents and asked for money. When I got it I spent it all of makeup and clothes. Then I tried to lose weight. I took risky precautions to do so. I then developed an eating disorder. I was bulimic for two years. In seventh grade I only weighed eighty nine pounds. I had to have someone with me at all times to make sure I wouldn’t force myself to throw up. It got so bad that I had to have a surgery to stop my gag reflex to ensure I couldn’t do

I had severe depression, anxiety, and I had an eating disorder. I was 11 years old when my mom first realized I was losing weight. I wasn’t extremely skinny but I was under what I should’ve been. She got me a lot of help and also found two great counselors who helped me learn how to handle my depression and gain weight again.

Anorexia has been described in many ways, ranging from a fatal mental disorder to simply a Western trend. However, only from experience can one fully understand the dangerous situation resulting from this diagnosis. In the winter of 2015, after the conclusion of the cross country season, I began to struggle severely with my weight and overall body image. I began to enforce dangerously low calorie limits on myself; my total caloric consumption would stay below 500 calories each day. Furthermore, I began to run for winter conditioning in preparation for the upcoming track season, thus continuing to lower my overall energy. My personal battle with anorexia continued until the beginning of track season, but even from a period as short as four months, the damage caused to my overall mental and physical health was immense.

It all began 7th grade year when I was struggling with my weight.I already felt worthless about myself, not to mention getting bullied by people I called my friends. They would body shame me and call me various names that added onto my stress. They would call me things like cow,fat ass, fatty patty etc. I wanted it to stop, but I didn't want to get bullied for being a tattle tail or a sissy. Holding in all the stress and depression caused me to cry to every night before going to sleep. I finally realized that I could change it and transform myself into the “ideal image” that everyone wanted me to be. I worked out daily and begged my mom to enroll me in an actual gym. She took me, and I began to see progress a few weeks later. I finally began to feel good about myself, but they still seen me as fat. I was a little hurt, but after finally coming to my mom about everything that's been going on, she sat me down and taught me about how to love myself .

Brewerton, Timothy D. "Eating disorders, trauma, and comorbidity: Focus on PTSD." Eating disorders 15.4 (2007): 285-304.

As the kids start to get loud on the car ride the grandmother gets agitated. She tells the children if they are quite she will tell them a story. The family pulls off the side of the road into a place to eat. The grandmother starts to talk to the restaurant owner’s wife. The grandmother tells the lady that Europe is to blame for the way things are now. The owner walks in the restaurant, and the grandmother starts a conversation with him. She tells him about the Misfit and tells him that no one can be trusted.

Coinciding with this was the focus on my appearance and inner personality that began to arise. I’d spend hours doing make-up in the morning before school, and I would have a nervous breakdown if anyone saw me without my full face on. I began to self-harm, and it was after the school faculty noticed that I started to receive treatment for these issues. My disordered eating was never brought

When I first received the news from my parents that my best friend was diagnosed with severe Anorexia Nervosa I felt my whole body shaking as well as tears and anxiety building up within me. For the first time in my life I realized that I could lose my best friend. That rude awakening convinced me that the best way to help

People suffering from eating disorders cannot solely help themselves. Although they may be able to stop for a short time, in the long run they will be back in the same path of self-destruction. Kirkpatrick & Caldwell (2001) state, "Because eating disorders are a complicated mix of physical and psychological abnormalities, successful treatment always includes treatment of psychological issues as well as restoration of a healthy diet" (p. 131). Trained therapists should treat eating disorders. The severity of the disorders will determine the need for outpatient therapy or an in-hospital program (Matthews, 2001, p. 178). There are many goals of therapy but the return to normalcy is the main goal. The eating disorder sufferer needs to restore and maintain a normal weight as well as develop normal eating and exercise routines. Kirkpatrick and Caldwell (2001) state,