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Electric Vehicle Persuasive Essay

Decent Essays
I reviewed your memorandum to Governor Jerry Brown, outlining a “Plan to Increase Demand for Electric Vehicles.” Your message to the California government is clear about its intent. You offer solid arguments. You urge the government to develop electric vehicles to improve air quality in California, and clearly identify the burden to develop and market the electric car within the private sector. To improve your paper, you could strengthen your arguments with more concrete support, develop more seamless transitions, and include associated counter-arguments.

Strengthen Your Arguments
You identify good strategies, but they can be more convincing with additional support. You explain a tension existing between the government and the car manufacturers,
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How can the public and private sectors collaborate to improve California’s air quality?

Ensure Seamless Transitions
Your transitions from paragraph to paragraph do not flow very well. For clarity, your second paragraph could be part of the main body. The sentence that starts with, “to increase the penetration of electric vehicles, I recommend…,” should follow your introductory paragraph. The two subheadings after each paragraph create more confusion than a clarity for the reader. You should replace the subheadings with transitional sentences. For instance, the subheading “Infrastructure” is already stated in the heading “Invest in Infrastructure and Research and Development.” Remove it because it is repetitive.

Include Counter-Arguments
A counter argument is crucial to support your argument advocating for the removal the zero emission mandate. This is because the oil company lobbyist will fight such mandates. In addition, your recommendation to the government advising the incorporation of a carbon tax on gasoline purchases can use a stronger argument, because the oil companies have control of the gas supply and demand. Therefore, to launch the carbon tax on gas purchases, the government must defeat lobbyists from the oil companies. Think of ways the government can make this
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