Embracing Depression Essay

580 Words3 Pages
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -- Oscar Wilde Perhaps I feel compelled to write on the subject of depression because it is a selfish disease. It seeps into every crevice of one's life; it refuses to be ignored, to be relegated to some obscure corner of the mind. Perhaps I'm writing about it because of what I have learned about my relationship with the disease. Perhaps the time has come when I'm ready to stop cursing the depression and start embracing it. What I'm about to say is terribly unfashionable, and I hope that you will forgive any offense that it may cause. In all truthfulness, I'm glad that I have lived with depression as a companion.…show more content…
On a recent episode of ER, a physician who was deaf queried, "Did you ever think that being deaf might not be so bad?" She had accepted that her deafness was a part of her life, without allowing it to define who she was. For quite a while, I wasn't able to see my depression in that way. When it was first diagnosed, I didn't want to admit that this was something that would affect my existence. I wanted to rid myself of the illness immediately. As the years passed, however, I let myself become the incarnation of the disease. Lurking at the edge of my consciousness was the thought that I should resist the attempts to heal the depression. A part of me believed that if I let the medications and psychotherapy take the depression away from me, I would be lost. Rather than seeing myself as a person with depression, I saw myself as a depressed person. The distinction is subtle but significant. I have finally reached the point where I can see both the horrors and the beauty of depression. It is something that should be neither glorified nor reviled. I am able to hate the illness for stealing away moments of my childhood while simultaneously appreciating the insight it has helped me to gain. Had I not known the absolute anguish it brought, I would not now recognize supreme happiness. Had I not experienced the heartache of personal defeat, I would not find such succor in emotional triumph. Had there not been times when I thought of
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