English Story

Decent Essays

1 year, 6 months and 15 days. That’s how long since my carefully constructed world was split right down the middle, ripped and torn apart mercilessly, just like the car that I was in. The remaining adrenaline from last night’s win overshadowed my perception of the slight sheet of sleet that subtly covered the dark, twisted road. Little did I know how much could change from one moment. One moment where you believe that you are taking your final breath, that this would be your final thought. It was that one moment that changed me forever, from the instant eyelids slowly fluttered open a week later, ‘lucky to be alive’ my plastered arm in a loose sling across my chest, a throbbing headache threatening to drone
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To an outsider, this is my kingdom, the place where I can be with people like me. But to everyone else in this god forsaken place, it is me who is the outsider. No longer do I join in screaming rants about the funniest thing that happened that day. No longer do I chant and stomp and get pumped up before every game, because I am too occupied convincing myself that this is the game I have always loved, that I have a reason to be here. They think I’ve changed. And for what it’s worth, they’re right.

But the rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand either. Everywhere I go it seems as though someone has focussed the brightest spotlight onto my every movement, highlighting every fear and insecurity. Everything about me has changed except my physical appearance. My beliefs. My values. My virtues. My dreams. Yet how can it not be as painfully obvious to everyone as it is to me? How can they possibly not see how drastically I’ve changed? That I’m desperately trying to make sense of a confusing world that I thought I had figured out? But they don’t see that. To them I’m no more than an identical replica to any other football jock. That I’m too wound up in nothing but my own selfish life to be able to maintain a conversation, that I bluffed my way through high school and now struggle to form a sentence. That I’m an exact match to the stereotype despised by so many. But all I want is one person. One person to prove to me that
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