Essay On Sonnet 129

2090 Words9 Pages
Shame can kill you! "Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame Is lust in action, and till action, lust Is perjured, murd'rous, bloody full of blame" William Shakespeare, Sonnet 129 Are some of us born more naked than others? Brought into the world ready to take in every criticism, suggestion, or unkind remark as gospel, increasing the shame and humiliation delivered along with the placenta? If so, maybe that manner of coming into the world created my submissive nature – or maybe my submissive nature merely makes me comfortable with embarrassment and shame. In the daily rush of getting through life, these are questions I don't need to answer. However, I think understanding requires going all the way back to the beginning. Firstborn, with three years of being the only child, I competed with careers, a marital relationship less than a year old when I was born, and utterly incompatible spouses who had no idea how to parent. I needed the attention every child needs, so I learned to try harder, to try all the time, and to get used to disappointment and failure. I didn't learn to love failure and disappointment, but I accepted that they were and always would be part of my life. When my brother arrived, I became the little mother at age three, seeing…show more content…
The Dominant I serve wants to know everything; he requires the truth even when the truth will be unpleasant or hurtful to him and/or to me; he will be the only one in control of our relationship and of me, or he will remove himself from the relationship. Wrapping my head around the reality, which is so far removed from the fantasy perception I have had of all my past relationships; recognizing that I always was in control in the past, has been a tough journey for me. It hasn't been completed yet; I'm not "home free" with an understanding and willingness to abandon the behaviors and patterns of decades for flying on an emotional trapeze without a net. But I am trying . . .
Open Document