Falling In Love: Mormon Marriage Counselor

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

David Maybury-Lewis gives us viewers some insight on romantic love, being in love and just plain old love. He says that being in love is a need for possession because we feel incomplete and this is usually why we marry. The problem we have is that feeling fades. He also says that romantic love threatens the family. Societies need people who will live for their children, not those who will die for love.

The whole reason nowadays people get married is because they are ready to move to the next level of affection. When people lose that connection that's when they start to fail and most of the time it is because of a lack of communication. Affection used to not even be a part of the reason people got married and that's a really depressing thing to think about. Without affection, then people wouldn't be married today because that's not how it works anymore. Even if that part goes away affection will always be part of the reason people get

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Every couple eventually comes to the painful realization that the passion they felt for each other before and at the beginning of their marriage has changed or faded. Losing this spark of attraction and sexual desire can lead to questioning the basis of the marriage. If you no longer feel excited to be with your spouse, do you ask yourself, “What else is there?” Even if you aren’t asking yourself that question, the daily grind of life that includes dealing with children, work, bills and running out of time for anything other than everyday tasks can make you wonder about the number of years that stretch ahead of you in which you’ll be doing the same things every day, over and over again.

Anthropologist Helen Fisher wrote an article titled “Dumped!” that elaborates on the topic of deep attachment to the person you love and its similarities to addiction. In paragraph six of her article Fisher states that, “Indeed, romantic love appears to be a drive as powerful as hunger. No wonder people around the world live-- and die-- for love.” By comparing the drive for love to the drive of hunger Fisher creates a bridge that everyone has a strong need to find love. In her article Fisher then continues to explain “frustration attraction” which is what the rejected lover begins to feel after the person of their affection rejects them. Frustration attraction is said to involve increased production of dopamine and norepinephrine which makes the jilted lover feel even greater passion for the object of their love. This frustration soon begins to turn into obsession and anger. The rejected lover quickly swings from heartbreak to anger and rage. Fisher claims that, “when the drive to love is thwarted, the brain turns passion into fury.” Fishers article goes into detail the complications and struggles that come along with trying to finding love and being in

Infatuation is an uncontrollable chemical reaction that makes one act on their inclinations when beholding

It feels comforting that someone is with you and that person makes you feel relieved and unstressed. The person in turn will reciprocate their good feelings towards others. Scientists have proven that love activates some parts in our nervous system responsible for feelings of happiness and peace and is affected in the same area of the brain as drugs like cocaine and nicotine which can cause a feeling of euphoria and cause one to neglect everything else. For example, Romeo and Juliet were happy with their love for each other but chose to forget that they belonged to feuding families who may not approve of their relationship.

It is an intense feeling of affection that compels us to do things that push us forward in a new direction that can be brought upon by a significant other. These feelings of affection are known as love and all love starts off with the sense of lust. Lust can be very dangerous to a man who is lost in the world looking to find himself. One can lose themselves entirely to these emotions for their lover and begin to forget their principles to living their life. Once a person no longer values their ideals they have become astray from their habitual self. In the novel Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, the main protagonist is faced with this ordeal and completely immerses himself, losing sight of his original journey.

This is not typical of how most people fall in love. Most people start off as simply liking each other’s company and slowly interacting more and more until they are actively seeking each other out. As they get closer they being to share more about themselves, both positive and negative aspects. As the begin to agree on goals for their relationship, there reactions become more similar, their psychological well-being becomes tied to the relationship, and finally they begin to see themselves as a couple and not just to people.

Falling out of love with someone who truly cares about you can severely affect their emotional state and lead to long term depression. Those who lose the one they “love are the most likely to develop depression” when they are rigid towards romantic love (Kerr 3). Love is so in depth and so personal, when lost, it can critically affect the way someone believes love is. Everything we do in our daily lives is all tied back to love. Losing someone you love can cause “unbearable hurt that demands an explanation and must be escaped as quickly as possible” or could lead to large amounts of depression and anxiety (Kerr 6) . Many people in our world today are affected by depression, love, and anxiety. The three are most commonly put all together or none at all. Many people find that you “cannot cure depression” with love, but you can most

For instance, You give up on someone who is there for you for so many years, the life that you've created, the memories that once made everything special, and all for someone who gives you butterflies for a second and sooner or later you find yourself, filing for a divorce and packing your things. How do we let issues become our relationship? How do we let our challenges defeat our love? For those of you who have your spouse and deal with every challenge together, day in and day out. I say this to you as a friend and as someone who truly wishes for the promotion of love and marriage to continue.. Never ever take that person for granted, tell them you love them every single day, even better show them! Just as little issues can lead to bigger problems, little sweet moments can create the strongest of love. It just takes patience and effort, and the will to not give up on one another. Family is everything but always remember that your number one partner needs you and your undivided attention, so go on dates, spend quality time (one on one) talk about everything and open up. Love your spouse through every challenge and not just for

Coming from a family where none of the women in my family are married, I’ve always admired those who were. I admired a woman who was stable enough to balance marriage and her own career, even when odds weren’t in her favor. I distinctly remember in January 2013, seeing an ad on Television for a movie titled Temptations:Confessions of a Marriage Counselor. Of course the title of the film told a lot about the movie, but the meaning that lied underneath this amazing movie told a lot more.

growing trend. Older couples that have been married for a long time have reported that they were simply bored with their marriage-- the mythical “mid-life crisis” took its toll on some of their marriages. They wanted to return to their youth and enjoy life because they felt that they were running out of time, and that their partner was just holding them back.

Many people find themselves hypnotized whenever they stumble into live at unexpected times. Indeed love is one of the most spontaneous phenomena ever. One just never knows when it strikes, or even stops. Some analysts say that this is the essence of the beauty of love. While this is a widely debatable stance, you can at least learn how to respond to the spontaneity so you are not caught unawares; forewarned is foretold.