Kaylee Coughran
Professor Royster
Comp 2
7 October 2017
Family Matters
How much of an impact does family have on a person’s life? “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been,” Joyce Oates’s short story about a young girl being stalked, shows just how much of an influence families are on children. Connie was a fifteen-year-old girl living with her parents and sister in the 1960s. Connie started sneaking off as way to rebel from her less than perfect family and encountered the man who would later become her kidnapper. This story portrays the negative effects of a toxic family environment. It emphasizes how important your home life really is. In this narrative, the way fifteen-year-old Connie’s family treated her played a large part in her
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From the beginning, Oates paints an image of the mother that isn’t very pretty. She is shown to be condescending, hypocritical, and downright rude. Connie recalls her mother’s tendency to compare her to her older sister. Connie’s sister June, was by no means the definition of perfect. She still lives at home at the age of twenty-four and did mediocre work as a secretary. Even so, her mother deemed her to be someone Connie should strive to be like. Willing her youngest daughter to follow in the older one’s footsteps illustrated just how low the mother’s expectations for the both were. She didn’t dream of a better, more successful life for her daughters. Along with being compared to her sister, Connie was also bashed by her mother for her appearance. Demands to “stop gawking at yourself,” and “you think you’re so pretty?” (Oates 1033), contributed to her self-image issues. Often times, Connie felt that she would rather die than listen to her mother’s criticisms. By revealing this, Oates emphasizes just how detrimental a mother’s support is to a teenager. Receiving no positive assurance from her mother, Connie turned to others for validation. Her mother’s disproval of her was the main reason she felt the need to sneak out and meet boys. She changed her appearance and behavior when she went out, hoping to become a different person completely. Hanging out with the wrong crowd led her to run into Arnold, an older man who
People often think of family as positive, loving, and with no flaws. However, there is almost a stereotype that all families love each other and there aren’t problems or challenges in a family. Sometimes families put people through challenges and some families aren’t “perfect”. In the book Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff, Jolly has two kids and goes through challenges with her family. Most careful readers can see how Jolly has these challenges with her kids and how she is far off from the “perfect” family. She goes through many of these challenges in life and finds a way to overcome them. Jollys family shapes her identity because the challenges she faces ends up making her stronger. Jeremy and Jilly challenging her, LaVaughn helping her out, and her past family all shape her identity.
Connie does not want to be the nice and innocent pretty girl. She wants to be known for being very sexual. In the story she makes fun of her sister June because she is very modest and not sexual and causes conflict with their family. Also June is overweight twenty-four years old and still living at home. But she also does chores and does them without complaining to her parents. While Connie is a way from home she has two totally different ways of acting. Be that as it may, Arnold friend ‘s landing in her home drives her two sides to consolidate fiercely. As it were, Connie is not completely sexual until Arnold's interruption into her home until then; her sexuality was something outside of her "actual" self, the self that she permitted her family to see. Arnold also has a friend named Ellie. While Arnold drives up to Connie’s house Ellie stays in the car and she listens to music while Arnold speaks to Connie. Also Connie’s mother shows a large amount of frustration towards her and the way she acts and dresses. Connie and her mother fight constantly. But towards the end of the story when Connie is attacked my Arnold she cries out to her
Family dynamics and relationships in our younger years help shape our view of the world and how we fit into it. Whether you agree with Sigmund Freud, Alfred Adler, or Erik Erickson,
In the following works: “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker, and “Where Are You Going, Where have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates both authors display how dynamic characters do/don’t relate to their families, excluding themselves and/or accepting their worth.
Besides Connie’s shallow self-absorbed character which is the result of her relationship with her friends, her relationship with her family also attributes to Connie’s self-absorption and shallow attitude. She never feels she is good enough for her parents. Her mother constantly
The late 1950s was a time of cultural revolution which had a large influence on the American youth. “As the next decade drew near, issues such as civil rights, war, women 's rights, and the sexual revolution would deeply affect many American teenagers. The conservative family values and morals that predominated in the 1950s were just beginning to be challenged as the decade came to a close” (Moss and Wilson 3). As a result, many teenagers lost the conservative morals of the 1950s and became more independent. In “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, Connie represents the result of this cultural revolution. Criticized by her mother for her promiscuity, Connie is an independent girl who often hangs out with her friends trying to attract boys. In doing so, she attracts a sexual predator named Arnold Friend who visits her at her home to try to get her to leave with him to presumably rape her. At the end of the story, Connie chooses to go with him. Connie gets into this dangerous situation because of a mistaken belief on her self-worth, the loss of morals by her and the adults in the story, and the influence of the 1960s popular music. Looking at “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” through the historical and feminist lenses, suggests that the story is really about how the misconceptions on self-worth and the diversion of 1960s society from
The characterizations of Connie’s family members have great effects on Connie. And Connie’s mother’s characterization is the main motivator for Connie’s rebellion. She always compares Connie with June, who is the “ideal daughter” in her eyes, and blames Connie for some little things, such as improper dressing and not having a tidy room. Oates suggests that the reason for Connie’s mother prohibiting Connie to dress up like an adult is that “ Her mother had been pretty once too” (Oates 1), but now “her looks were gone and that was why she always after Connie” (Oates 1). Therefore, she is jealous about Connie’s beauty and feels uncomfortable when seeing Connie wear beautiful outfits. Meanwhile, she likes June so much because June is obedient and plain, which makes her feel that she is dominant in the relationship. In the short story, Connie’s father is not given much description by the author, but
The characterizations of Connie’s family members have great effects on Connie. And onnie’s mother’s characterization is the main motivator for Connie’s rebellion. She always compares Connie with June, who is the “ideal daughter” in her eyes, and blames Connie for some little things, such as improper dressing and not having a tidy room. Oates suggests that the reason for Connie’s mother prohibiting Connie to dress up like an adult is that “ Her mother had been pretty once too” (Oates 1), but now “her looks were gone and that was why she always after Connie” (Oates 1). Therefore, she is jealous about Connie’s beauty and feels uncomfortable when seeing Connie wear beautiful outfits. Meanwhile, she likes June so much because June is obedient and plain, which makes her feel that she is dominant in the relationship. In the short story, Connie’s father is not given much description by the author, but his characterization has an effect on Connie as well. The irresponsible father spends little time with family and seldom has conversations to his daughters. When hearing his wife’s complain about Connie, he just bends his head with saying nothing, which makes Connie feels ignored and lonely. Urbanski states that “The father, who spent most of his time at work, is weak” (Urbanski 200) to reveals the father is not an active figure in his daughter’s life. Therefore, lacking of the company and communication of family members, Connie becomes upset. In addition, Connie’s sister June, who has the opposite characterization, is also one of the reasons for Connie’s rebellion. In Connie’s eyes, June is a
To begin, the protagonist of the story is Connie, is a rebellious eighteen year old blonde, who does not accept the role that her mother puts her in. The mother expects Connie to be the “nice” girl, who dresses and acts like her
Moral and social beliefs were being challenged and the youth of America, while coming of age, were rebelling against their parent’s ideals and creating their own culture. The birth of a social movement was upon the world and issues such as sexual freedom, feminism and other civil rights were hot topics during the years prior to Oates writing this story. It is these social changes and society’s interest in them that creates the foundation for the setting that breathes life into this story. Without this foundation, the coming-of-age story of Connie, not to mention American society, and her journey from the innocence of the 1950s into the bitter reality of the turbulent times of the 1960s would have been lost.
In the same vein, narcissism is another trait that characterizes Connie’s attitude. She obviously has the sophisticated mind-set of a young lady that she pretends to be although she is only an adolescent. It is easy to detect through the story that the protagonist Connie spends all her time acting and protecting her ego. So many passages illustrate that point of view. Connie is a two faced adolescent. She presents to the exterior world the image of a modest and well behaved girl whereas she has in her the hidden quality of sexual flirtation. To describe Connie, Oates mentions, ‘’Connie had long dark hair that drew anyone’s eye to it, and she wore part of it pulled up on her head and puffed out and the rest of it she left fall down her back. She wore a pull-over jersey blouse that looked one way when she was at home and another way when she was away from home’’
There is a big connection between our family and our identity. Family shapes us into the person we become and takes a big part in developing our identity. No matter if their influence is life changeable or not, their presence in our lives is enough to create changes. In the book, Hunger of Memory, Richard Rodriguez described his life as a Mexican-American trying to adapt to the new ways of life and how this has cause him to become distant with his family. On the other hand, in the essay, “The Love of My Life”, the author Cheryl Strayed discussed the affects her mother’s death had on her and her outlook in life. Both authors can relate in terms of the importance of how family helps in shaping one into the person they become. Although identities can be self-built, our families are important in the process because they provide the support needed to build and find identity.
A family is the most important and fundamental processes of development in childhood. There are many examples of works that deal with family. In Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, the reader sees how neglection from a family setting can invoke horrible events. In The Fifth Child by Doris Lessing, presents how Isolation and dislike can and will lead to unfortunate events. In Macbeth by Shakespeare, shows the betrayal of a family and how it affects the mind by playing with it in several different ways. Before a person can see effects of isolations, neglection, and betrayal of a family he/she must “climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
In every home, there is a different definition of family and how family should treat each other. Two short stories were read by an author named Flannery O’Connor. “A Good Man is Hard to Find”. It was about a dysfunctional family who encounters a criminal named “The Misfit”. The grandmother which is the main character is very judgmental towards others and sometimes her own family at times. This story starts off with a disagreement on where to go for a family trip, but they decide on going to Florida for the family trip after a while of arguing. On this trip, it showed what type of family they are. They talk about everything with one another as well as bicker and fight but at the end of the day, they are still family and love each other. They come together the most in panicking situations such as the accident and waiting for a car to help them. The point of this paper is the theme of family. Specifically, family is a theme in this short story because it depicts a dysfunctional family; the family you see on a crazy television show and can’t get enough of because they’re funny but also they have serious moments. There 's the two troublesome and annoying kids, the hot-headed dad who tries to maintain control of a situation and fails, the wife busy attending to the baby, and the grandmother, who 's a case all to herself (and also the main character). Though the story starts out seeming like a comedy, it takes a serious turn when the family encounters a criminal, who kills them
The short story, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” is one of the best stories of the author Joyce Carol Oates and it is about the appearance and the reality. The two main Characters: Connie a self- obsessed teenager and Arnold Friend who shows his fake personality demonstrate clearly how human disguises and shows fake side so that people can believe their appearance. By making herself like an adult with her makeup, Arnold Friend, an old man who disguises like a young person, manipulates her and she compelled to do whatever he asks her to protect her family. Through this story, Joyce Carol Oates shows her audience how people prefer the appearance to the reality in three ways: the appearance of most of the teenagers that have a craving to look like an adult, their behavior and the attitude of some adults that like to disguise as a young person.