Family Roles of Addiction

In reading chapters four and five of the textbook “Substance Abuse and the Family” I found a couple of things that caught my interest. In chapter four, the middle phrase of an alcoholic family is discussed on page 58, regulatory behaviors of the family enabling whatever use of alcohol is occurring hiding and maintaining for others not to see the alcoholism. The children are usually pressured not to talk about the situation at school, work, etc. I have seen parents threaten their children if they were to tell, saying things like “ if you tell they will take us away from you forever and it will be your fault” or “ if you tell punishment will be sure to follow”. Therefore, the family must endure the negative impacts of an alcoholic parent falling

As a recovering addict I know firsthand how my addiction affected my family. Addiction to alcohol or drugs is a disease; it affects everyone in the family, not just the substance abuser.

Addiction is a theme that has been present throughout my life through members of my family and myself. My father was addicted to gambling and alcohol until finally, his drinking ended his life. My brother struggles with alcohol and keeping ahead of his problematic drinking. I have several cousins that float between alcohol and drugs to fulfill the need for an outside substance. For many years, I pondered how I had escaped the addiction curse in my family only to realize that my addiction is food. I overeat and self-sooth through food even though I have health concerns and know a better way. I spent most of my young adulthood angry at my father because he could not or would not change for his family. I am understanding more through education

Drug and chemical abuse affect many families and that particular family that lives through a loved one who is an addict and the priority is to get help for the individual. In any intervention that involves drug addicts, a family's disposition is very important. Full recovery of any drug addict involves the restoration of the person's life as well as ensuring that those who are around the addict have the best ability when it comes to helping with abstinence which is a long-term goal. Abusers are often in denial or even believe that they are totally in control of their use of drugs

Addiction is not an individual problem but something that affects the whole family. Stevens and Smith (2013) state that families will “readjust to redistributing responsibilities to accommodate the user” (pp. 247-248). Children learn to adapt to their dysfunctional family, including taking more responsibilities on when their parent cannot because of their addiction. Families need to be included in treatment so that they can learn positive ways to help their family member without enabling them. The Bible states in Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (New Living Translation). God designed humans to need each other that is why he created Eve as Adam’s helpmate. Having a support system

Although all sorts of families can be devastated by addiction, but single parent units (the most common lower class structure) are the most obscured. Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches supports, “In every family unit, each person plays a role (or multiple roles) to help the family function better and to maintain a level of homeostasis, stability and balance. When substance abuse is added to this dynamic, the family roles naturally shift to adjust to the new behaviors associated with drug or alcohol use, and to continue maintaining order and balance.”4 In single parent units there is an inability of a second parent to fill the void role of the addicted parent. The National Center for Biotechnology Information states, “Frequently, children may act as surrogate spouses for the parent who abuses substances. For example, [young] children may develop elaborate systems of denial to protect themselves against that reality of the parent’s addiction. Because that option does not exist in a single‐parent household with a parent who abuses substances, children are likely to behave in a manner that is not age‐appropriate to compensate for the parental deficiency.”2 So a child growing up in a compromised family unit where addiction is present may develop altered norms and mature into an addict themselves.4

It was never my intention to work with addicted clients, but nearly every family therapy course I have taken has, either overtly or covertly, stressed the need to understand addictions. While I understand the concept on a cognitive level, I had judgements about the type of people that become addicted and did not feel compelled to work with them, until my niece died. Her drug addiction deeply affected all members of her immediate family. Her parents and her step-dad, my brother, each reacted to my niece’s addiction in different ways but none were successful and the family began to fail under the stress.

A person, especially a parent, who is dependent on alcohol or drugs destroys a family because family members not only see how miserable the addicted really are, but they also witness, firsthand, the way substance abuse can deteriorate a person’s physical and mental body, as well as the fact that family members notice the money that is spent on the abused substances, which sometimes leaves families living in poverty for no reason other than the simple fact the addict has to have their fix. Addicts are the destroyers of happiness, self-worth, and any amount of money.

These roles can often be fluid and shift among family members depending on the onset of the substance abuse, developmental stages of the children, gender, age, birth order, parent/sibling relationship status and marital status, just to name a few. The first family role is, “The Addict”, the person with the addiction. The “world” revolves around this person, causing the addict to become the center of attention. As the roles are defined, the others consciously take on the rest of the roles to complete the balance after the problem has been introduced. “The Hero,” family role two, is defined in the family as the person who appears confident, overachieving and serious. This person also assumes a role of parentification as evidenced by taking on responsibilities that far exceeded their developmental stage is in comparison with their peers. This role is often difficult to maintain as “The Hero” feels that he/she is constantly needing to take on more and more responsibility. “The Mascot’s,” family role three, role is that of the jester. They will often make inappropriate jokes about those involved. Though they do bring humor to the family roles, it is often harmful humor, and they sometimes hinder addiction recovery. Family role four is “The Lost Child,” and is the silent “out of the way” family members, and

The crippling effects of alcoholism and drug dependency are not confined to the addict alone. The family suffers,

Addiction is a disease that not only affects the person with the addiction but the family as well. The children that grow up in this environment take on different roles in their family to try and cope with their environment. According to American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, there is an estimate of 26.8 million children that are exposed to alcoholism in the family (2015). As these children grow up they develop many common characteristics into adulthood. These characteristics have a lasting impact on their lives.

If you are struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction, your disease also affects everyone around you, especially your family. Families function as a system. Think of this system like the parts of a computer. Various parts work together to allow a user to type, scroll down, view images, and listen to sounds. If one part is malfunctioning, the entire system goes down. For example, if the monitor were to stop working, the user would be unable to see any websites or programs on the computer. All parts need to be up and running for the system to work harmoniously. Families are the same. When one family member is suffering, the entire family unit suffers. If you require addiction treatment, your family needs to be included in every step of the

While many therapists in this field have come to see addiction as a family disease, and recognise many family members to be suffering from codependency, there is much diversity in the extent of engagement of family members and the application of the systemic approach in therapeutic work. Much attention is usually focused on their individual disease processes, rather than on the family dynamics and interactions that continue to sustain the addictive

There is no question about how the dynamics of the family structure can change when a family member is a substance abuser. Substance abuse can easily tear apart a family, especially, when some members of the family want the abuser to stop using the substance and to get help, but the user is not ready to change his lifestyle and is resisting pressure from his love ones. There are group therapies and organizations designed to help family members understand addiction, why one might start using drugs and alcohol, and one’s new role in the abuser’s lifestyle, and at the same time help them confront their own issues with the addicted family member. When the abuser is a parent or parents, many people wonder about how are the children coping psychologically,

Addicts blame others when things go wrong, they make loved ones feel guilty or ashamed, and maintaining an addiction can take a financial toll on a family. Children, pets, and other family members are often neglected and left to fend for themselves when living with an addict. Addiction can also cause separation in a family. Eventually patience runs out and people end up walking away from the addict when they refuse to get help or take responsibility.