Fargo Monologue

Today is the day. Today is finally the day that I am to be released from the psychiatric hospital since that day when I passed out. I know last time you heard from me, I was broken and unhappy and had hate for the world, but i'm in the best state i could ever be, I really am I tell you. Oh how excited I am to see old Phoebe. I haven’t seen her since i’ve been admitted into this wing of the hospital. Oh I wonder how much she has grown< She was so intelligent and pure, nothing could ever compromise her. So I hope nothing hasn’t. I was retrieving most of my belongings before I left, when I happened to run into old Ms. Patty. This was my nurse and oh, how lovely she is. “Oh hello Holden, leaving so soon ?” she said so to me with great compassion. Naturally I said, “Why yes sadly, I must go on with myself and enjoy the world, perhaps find myself a woman”, I said this suave as hell, I tell you.

The rain had just stopped pouring, and we had all gathered in a park nearby, as a makeshift memorial for Johnny. It wasn’t really a funeral, we didn’t have the budget for that, and it wasn’t like his parents cared enough to give him a proper goodbye.

I kept writing. It was hard, but I could get everything off of my chest. I could explain to people what had happened to me. I could tell my English teacher. It was a little hard, but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t cry. Greasers didn’t cry.

Forty years is a long time, long enough to deprive a person of any connection to the real world. I mean those cars, machines, children crying… I just couldn’t get used to them. Sometime I feel I’m standing in the eye of hurricane, the noises whipping around me like a gale. It’s a terrible thing to live in fear. All I’m doing is just lying here, smoking, unable to sleep. I look up and see old Brooks’s world from the beam, he gave up. That makes me more scared. He couldn’t cope with the real world, so he decided to release himself totally. Well, I guess I have become institutionalized like Brooks as, I can’t feel

“Hmm?? Oh, Hi Jimmy, how was school?” asked Tyler McCrae with a smile coming to his face and a twinkle to his eye.

I walk into my room and throw my bag carelessly on the floor. I’ll study later. I don’t go to my bed but move over to my window and stand there, not knowing exactly why. I open the windows, and even though it’s the middle of winter, the cold wind is most welcome here. I feel my hair blowing around my face and I know it’s going to get impossibly tangled but I don’t care. My lips are dry and too thin top isn’t doing much to keep me warm but I still don’t care. I’m not really sure where my thoughts are taking me but I’m already gone.

“What are you gonna do about it johnnyboy? What are you gonna do?” sneered Jack Bones, the unlawful “leader” of our school. I would say more about him, but he is currently slamming my head into a locker, so I can’t talk much. “Jacques Archer Bones! Hall that big butt of yours into the detention room or you’re going to the principal’s office! I better not catch you trying to bully John again!” cried a voice. I briefly turn around to see Mr. Gryphus before getting my face slammed into the locker again. Jack pounds my back one last time before grunting and finally moving away from me. “Don’t think this is over, bean boy.” he calls down the hall. Mr. Gryphus takes one look at me and immediately realizes exactly what just happened. “Are

“ Hi mommy can you pick Lucas and I up at Trl right now ?” I said so innocently like I haven't done anything wrong. There was a couple of seconds where i could tell that she was comprehending what I just said.

“What the Hell?!” The guy yells as he flails in the cold water. He sounds more startled then angry. Thank goodness for small favors.

I was looking through profiles, and came across yours. I like the content of your page, and the way you speak about God and the Bible. It seems sincere. I also like the way you candidly mention some of the weirder things that you’re into. We have a bit in common.

Hey! You do you know what a hobbit? Well I will tell you what a hobbit. Well a hobbit are little people about half our size and smaller than dwarves. But hobbits have no beards at all dwarves do but were not talking about dwarves. And hobbits don’t wear shoes they have hair on their feet. Plus, there really good hears better than us. Besides they wear bright colors mostly green or yellow. You want to hear more? Of course you do. Wait I forgot to tell you about a special hobbit Bilbo Baggins is a hobbit and his mother is belladonna took and his father is Bungo Baggins come on let learn more about

He tells me a lot. His parents are gay, Ben and Jerry. Haha,

“Are you kidding me? I don’t even know what I would get!” I exclaimed. Justin has always been a good friend of mine throughout all high school, I have known him since the second grade.

I stuck a new sign, a very important one, on my locker this morning. Hopefully, Scott would notice so I wouldn’t have to point it out. It said: Let’s go! As in let’s go to the dance. It would be easy as pie. I’d done a lot of thinking lately and decided why not go to the dance with him. He’s sweet, funny, and probably the only kid who doesn’t give me that evil witch stare when walking past me. People think I don’t notice that, but oh wowwwww do I.

And with that, I hung up the phone. Apparently my best friend, Chris, was going to get us pancakes. It was also 10:30 at night. And I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to go, so I called him back.