Fear Of The Unknown Has Been A Constant Thread Intricately

1092 WordsMay 5, 20175 Pages
Fear of the unknown has been a constant thread intricately interwoven throughout the tapestry of my life. Although intricate in color and vast in depth, it has furrowed a chasm in my past, present and dare I say future. As a seminarian on the verge of graduation the prior statement may appear somewhat odd. Aptly applying a biblical scripture such as “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but power, love and a sound mind”, should suffice to calm anxiety and trepidation. However, I have not found this the case. With greater scrutiny, I ponder what are the next steps in my life and what are my expectations for ministry? For the immediate future, I desire rest to regain a sense of peace and spiritual renewal. Solace and time alone…show more content…
My pastor, who served as my site supervisor was supportive of my interning at church, although there were occasions where we differed on matters of best methods to fulfill ministerial obligations. He strongly affirms that nothing comes before God. Unfortunately, this includes all obligations outside of the church, i.e. family, work, and school. Vacation may be permissible, but not time off to attend to matters outside of church. On one occasion, my place in the leadership training course was at stake due to my seeking time away to handle school deadlines that were steadily approaching. This caused great angst for all parties concerned, which was very disconcerting for me. The reasoning for taking such a hard stance is primarily due to this course being the first leadership training class held at the church, taught by the pastor. He wants to see a return on his investment of time and resources. Although, I do understand the importance of dedication and commitment, equally vital is the necessity to allow for life’s random and intrusive moments to be allotted for. Feeling overwhelmed is not a matter of choice, but in most instances an end result of taking on more than you are able to handle at one time. The plenary sessions were very beneficial in addressing my stress related issues. I have often heard it said, “What the mind cannot contain will impose itself on the body.” Consequently, I found this true as my health issues took a turn for

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