Feedback Essay : ' Portfolio '

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Feedback essay: ‘Portfolio 1’: Overall criticisms: In examining my feedback, the first main concern identified was in reference to structure. The marker refers to my ‘input’ being “all over the place”, suggesting a lack of organisation and comprehensive structure to my argumentation which is also insinuated by the recommendation to ‘label’ points more explicitly. Consequently, it became difficult to develop a compelling argument, neglecting my discussion to a series of statements with little elaboration alongside those points. Moreover, by suggesting to ‘label’ to allow the flow of the argument , I believe the marker is suggesting the use of signposting and seemingly highlights a substantial omission - the lack of development in my…show more content…
I would ensure my contentions remain cohesive throughout, as opposed to being added into my summarizing thoughts unaccompanied. Consequently, I could use quotations from the text to provide some context, whilst then permitting me to elaborate an argument from that quotation. My argument would then be fully integrated into the essay, and could accordingly be expanded upon further. Leading on from this change, this would likewise make it easier to rectify my second sizeable error and expand upon my counter-points, as opposed to simply offering rebuttals which are not wholly explained. I would instead then be able to emphasise the evaluation section as opposed to my overly conflated outline section. By sub-dividing my work into paragraphs, I should be able to isolate select argumentation points much more unambiguously without, as the marker describes, “getting somewhat lost.” This should prevent my work from appearing as “one lump of text” and make it clearer to read, allowing my thoughts to be expressed clearly. Lastly, I shall attempt to be additionally explicit in my counter-points and pinpoint specifically why the point is pertinent to the discussion, making a conscious effort to avoid making the false supposition that the purpose to the assertion can be simply inferred- for example, stating why a democratic deficit is an issue for the EU. Strengths: Despite these criticisms, the marker and I seemed to agree that my understanding of the meaning of the

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