From Work Seeped Into Your Personal Life

1102 WordsJul 12, 20165 Pages
from work seeped into your personal life? Were you feeling unappreciated and therefore particularly vulnerable? By knowing the signs, you can be extra vigi- lant next time and think twice before behaving in the same old way. The Three Keys to Successful Persuasion Once you have stopped wasting energy and goodwill on strategies that don’t work, there is space to look at what does. Equality The failed strategies have one thing in common: a power imbalance. In the first three, the more powerful partner tries to bludgeon the other into submission and in the last three, the less powerful partner tries to manipulate the more powerful one. (With nagging, there is a twisted version of equality as two matched partners try to force and resist each other.) So what’s the alternative? In true equality, as op- posed to nagging, there is a benefit for each partner from the solution. Sometimes each partner has separate spheres of control – for example, one will be in charge of money, the other in charge of their social life – but each will consult the other and major decisions are made jointly. All in all, each partner will control about 50 per cent of their life together. Martin and Kimberly, whom we met earlier in the chapter, arrived into coun- selling in crisis. Their fights were so destructive that even a minor disagreement would spiral out of control and ruin their whole week. A typical example was when Martin came home and found Kimberly cleaning the saucepan
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