G. Zone 2: The Martian

develop a multi-paragraph response to the assigned topic that clearly communicates the purpose of your story to the audience

In reviewing the essay, there are many errors I noticed. Overall, your writing lacks focus in regards to ideas, grammar, and spelling. I am no expert in any of these areas, but my ability to produce a coherent essay is demonstrated by the fact that I am nearly done with college. The goal of my essay is to guide you towards a better way of writing based on my prior experiences. A good essay in my experience is one that has three major components: structure, depth, and voice.

Overall, the essay seemed to lack flow as a result of a noticeable absence of transition words. The essay had bad syntax. Each paragraph seemed to be scenario after scenario and each sentence seemed to be idea after idea. For example, in the first paragraph, the list consisted of multiple sentences, instead of just one sentence with commas. “But they are few: Being mistaken for a wheat field by a cloud of locusts. Being buried alive”...“Interviews from film festivals.”, this seemed like an awful way to list ideas. In addition, the fourth paragraph of the essay was made up of only 2 sentences, one

If exceptional grades and numerous excellence awards are to indicate anything, I have succeeded academically thus far. However, such achievements are only possible because of my work ethic and determination. I pride myself on submitting my best work, pitting myself against my past performances. I remember my tenth grade English class; I was writing essays every week. I took every critique from my teacher and considered it for the next piece. Experience I gained from that class carried over into eleventh grade, where I achieved the highest English grade I have ever made. Even now, I look back at my older essays to help me write, so I know what works and what to avoid. Perseverance through school and desire to improve have carried me well, even through activities outside of my education.

Ray Bradbury was an American author born on August 22, 1920 who died on June 5, 2012 at the age of 91. Bradbury was a prolific and beloved writer who wrote many novels considered today to be staples of the science fiction genre such as Fahrenheit 451, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and The Martian Chronicles (www.biography.com). The Martian Chronicles is a collection of short stories Bradbury wrote over several years detailing the colonization of mars by humans. Present in this collection of stories are a number of themes portraying the weaknesses of mankind. In these stories are tales of corporate greed, mental illness, religious zealotry, gullible ignorance,

In conclusion, the passage, “Getting Ready to Live on Mars”, was important to read because it informed the reader about Mars simulations, and had many different main ideas, however only one central idea. The central idea of the passage was developed by quotes and expert opinions, and is partly states at the end of the passage. The central idea of the passage is that Mars simulations are helping eliminate some logistical and emotional conflicts that might occur on a real trip to Mars, and is developed by using expert opinions and

Second, I used tone to give the essay character. The speaker throughout the essay appears to me very haughty and excited. The quote “Now I have solved two problems, bullying and your failure in school. I should really write a book.” shows

I only had fifteen minutes left. It was then that I understood that this essay would not be perfect. In fact, it would most likely be disorganized and flawed, but, regardless of the outcome, I would have to write. With this realization, the weight of perfection lifted off my shoulders and it was strangely liberating to know that I would not be able to meet the impracticable standard I had set for myself. The unmarked page seemed less of an adversary and more of a companion as I began to write. At first, my words came slowly and laboriously. Then, they came all at once. One sentence led into another until sentences formed paragraphs and paragraphs formed an essay. When the proctor rose, considered us with practiced sympathy, and told us to put our pencils down, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was simultaneously filled with relief and self-doubt. I had completed the essay, but, in the process, I had compromised an aspect of my identity that placed faultlessness above all else. In the past, I had seen that part of me as an asset, but on that day, it seemed unpleasantly clear that it was my greatest weakness. As I slowly unfurled my stiff fingers, I considered the now empty desk in front of me. Perhaps perfectionism is as much of a hurdle as it is a

In my brainstorming of this paper was very simple to bring out ideas but it was difficult to align and structure the essay to flow. But I chose Running Brave because it is a movie that was familiar with nut I knew that the plot of the story was not so great and that the equipment was not up to par. But these are my standards and how could they apply to this movie to be great. It was difficult to balance my personal tone and academic because when I use my tone I tend to make sense and using my academic tone brings me to a halt by stop using my own voice and that I have no satisfaction and it makes my paper boring. But in this case, it cause my paper to be interesting by sounding logically and expertise in the movie Running

The essay is your dad getting laid off from his ritzy Inner Harbor job and having to sell used cars for a living when you are 10 years old. Every few weekends, you would beg your dad if you could go with him to one of the exotic locales where he sells his cars. This weekend, it was Princeton, New Jersey. The buildings there look like scary European castles, but you agree to smile and pose and help your father stumble over his touch screen to send them, captioned “She got in!!” to a number labeled “Wifey”, who will probably have to read the text when she is driving home from the nursing home after a 16 hour

     The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury, is a science-fiction book and was written in 1946. This major work by Bradbury is a collection of short stories relating to Mars or Martians. Bradbury had a clear vision of the Mars in which these stories are set. His vision was one of a fantasy world from the Martians point of view. In this work, the humans from Earth are the aliens from outer space. Bradbury has won many awards including the O. Henry Memorial Award, the Benjamin Franklin Award, the Aviation-Space Writers Association Award, the World Fantasy Award for lifetime achievement, and the Grand Master Award from the Science Fiction Writers of America. Bradbury supported his awards

Using frequently over used words can corrupt even the best essay. I received a grade of C overall. I was quite disappointed in myself and my performance as I know I have the ability to do better. There were four places that should have had commas

What would do if you were stuck on Mars alone? Would you play it safe and wait for a rescue mission or launch into space on an bare rocket without the nose cone? In The Martian by Andy Weir find out what conflicts you might face on Mars (External Pressures), or read about if it is actually possible for dust storms to actually be dangerous as described in the

Today we don’t send people out in space for the same reasons as we used to do 50 years

The third essay that was written was a critical argument. This assignment required me to choose two articles from the school library and write an essay stating my opinion on a particular subject. The topic I chose was medical marijuana. This topic was interesting to me, so it made the assignment fun. On this essay I had fewer mistakes than in previous essays. I continued to struggle with APA citation and the use of commas. When I looked at the feedback from this essay, it gave me confidence. I felt that I was learning and my writing skills were improving.