preview

Gabriel Tanner Essay

Decent Essays
Open Document

Gabriel Tanner as the mysterious creepy guy makes for a good plot beat but make the sequence more suspenseful and tense. Chris notices him, but then goes on his way. Have Gabriel appear to be stalking him. Maybe Chris gets to his car, and Gabriel taps on his shoulder and Chris jumps. First, tease the audience with his uneasy feeling, he dismisses it, and then Gabriel appears. This will elevate the tension more than Chris approaching Gabriel. Cut the dialogue “Hey. Creepy guy standing in the back of a room…”
Also, in the scene in which he finds Gabriel Tanner inside his house should be tenser. Again, tease the audience first. He comes homes, calls out, elevate the tone, and then he finds Gabriel with Andrea.
However, there’s an inconsistency …show more content…

There’s a tendency to explain or tell feelings or thoughts versus showing. Remember the audience can only see what’s on the screen and they can only hear the dialogue. Show how Chris is visibly annoyed (rolls eyes, deep breath). Also later, the idea that Chris “ponders his response,” should be visual.
Everyone talks about the attack as if it caused great trauma to Chris, but the audience doesn’t feel this. The audience doesn’t feel that he was away.
Cut dialogue: “Let’s see who’s behind…” Let the visuals (and sounds) convey the tension in the scene (the library).
Consider a stronger pay-off for the idea of the Black Magic Book.
Consider adding a visual reaction on page 53 when Andrea tells Chris that she’s pregnant.
In the climax when Ben is the host, consider having Ben/Demon speak. The climax feels like it needs a bit more between Chris and Ben/Demon. Remember, he has to not only physically outwit him, but mentally.

The scene with the paramedics can just be visual, versus including dialogue. Then transition to the hospital where the doctor tells him, he can see his son.
The dialogue with the lawyer sounds a bit contrived/on the nose.

Get Access
Related
Get Access