Grief By Alice W. Terry

Gayle Forman said, “Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.” In the story, Ashes, by Susan Beth Pfeffer, Ashleigh’s parents are complete opposites. Her mother is logical and brutally honest, and her father is optimistic and, as he puts it, “a dreamer”. When her father needs money, Ashleigh is faced with a choice: to take money from her mom and damage their relationship, or endanger her father by keeping the money. Ashleigh chooses to take the money from her mother, because she makes it clear that she favors her dad, she agrees to help him even when she knows her mother won’t like it, and she cares much about her father’s well-being.

The book Andrew You Died Too Soon by Corinne Chilstrom gives insight on grief after a husband and wife’s youngest son, Andrew, kills himself with a firearm in their basement. Personally, I do not remember a time when I personally had to grieve but I have been in many situations where I have had to comfort those who were grieving. Through out the book there were several chapters that stuck out to me and made me take a minute to reflect on views of grief.

Patrick Ness masterfully grants his readers not only a beautiful story of loss, but also a compelling example that displays the truth of the grieving process. Although denied by the protagonist, his story is that of grieving his mother, who while still alive, is undeniably going to die. Some may wonder that it is possible to grieve for someone who is still alive. However, according to Okun and Nowinski, prolonged deaths are in many ways replacing quick ones, drawing out the process of a loved one dying. “...Death has become less and less a sudden and unexpected event. In its place has come a process that... ends eventually in death. This process means that… the family (is) increasingly confronted with the need to ‘live with death’...”(Okun

Just a month or two ago, my uncle died at thirty-eight. Leaving my aunt, his three year old, five year old, and nine year old boys, as well as his eighteen year old daughter who just left for college. I was with my aunt non-stop throughout the week he died, and I can tell you there was no moment of happiness. Even now, she breaks down without him. This is quite different than Louise’s experience.

My father tends to joke about serious subjects. So, when he told me that my mother had been involved in a car crash, I didn’t believe him until he repeated it several times. I don’t think anyone in our family has been the same ever since. We’re continuing to deal with the aftermath four years later, and I’ve just begun to accept that it will never be over. Sometimes I go to sleep thinking that she’ll be back when I wake up, the same old Mom, but I’m always disappointed. The stages of grief aren’t linear. I keep going

First and foremost, thank you for sharing information regarding the grieving process. Because the grieving process is individualized and difficult, some people have the tendency to shy away from this subject. However, I believe that information shared can be wisdom gained; wisdom to utilize information that will assist in navigating the emotional variances that accompany the loss of a loved one.

Death. That feels like the one thing in life that every person is guaranteed. After someone dearly loved passes away, life can feel empty, lonesome and sometimes miserable. In the days and months following, everything seems different, abnormal, and deathly silent. Overcoming a loss is not about how well you cope with the past, but how well you embrace the change in life and face the future. Three characters in the following stories experience tragic loss that greatly impacts their life —“Gwilan’s Harp” by Ursula K. LeGuin, “The Washwoman” by Isaac Singer, and “The Last Leaf” by O.

Peggy never knew her biological mother. Even though she never had this relationship, she greatly desired it. As a child and young adult, she craved a motherly affection and often contemplated how her life would be different had her mother survived. She grieved the loss of her mother through her childhood and didn’t feel as if she fully let it go until she divorced Will. When recounting her attitudes towards the loss, she exemplifies many of the five stages of grief and loss as described by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (Kubler-Ross, 1969). While she was too young to bond with her mother and experience the loss in a traditional sense, she did experience a long-standing sense grief that she had difficulty overcoming. She fluctuated between stages throughout her childhood and early adulthood. She describes her early adolescence as a time when she displayed anger towards her step-mother despite her stepmother treating her well. The majority of her disdain was projected onto her step-mother. She also recalls having dreams with her mother. As a child, she remembers “bargaining” with God in her prayers to send her more of these dreams. While she did pray as a child, it wasn’t from a place of religiosity. She does not consider herself as spiritual or religious. Rather, she prayed as a way of comforting herself in hope to have more time with her mother during her dreams. During her childhood, she fluctuated between anger, bargaining, and a deep sense of

It was so devastating to get the news, that night my aunt had been in charge of caring for him overnight, she felt so guilty as if it were her fault. I’d been the first one up every morning and so I received a call from my aunt crying barely being able to speak, “Amy he’s gone, I’m sorry”. It was a Friday morning, that Friday morning that marked my life forever. As I informed my parents, it was difficult my mother shed to pieces and hurried to the hospital. Despite the loss, I went to school with no strength. Physically I was there, however but mentally I was not, all I thought about is our last words the night before and my promise to never give

I am a connoisseur of depression. But this grief thing is something completely different.’’ Still, over the course of our years together, Beck’s cognitive theory of depression helped her get perspective on how she managed her grief and on the roles she played in her continuing bond with her daughter. Grief’s depression is a about our relationship to our world when that world includes the inescapable reality that Death is real. Most of us live thinking bad things happen to other people, but that we are somehow protected, as Ronnie Janoff-Bulman (1989) said, because we are good, or we are careful, or we are lucky.

Four months ago I lost my grandmother who was a very adorable person for me, when I was not in my house. People kept coming to our place in order to give their condolences. It was very hard for me to understand that she is not in this world any more. She was the sweetest person in my life whom I could hug tightly and kiss on her cheek. When I asked my mother the

Fall 2017, I decided to participate in a bereavement course. I did not know what to expect as this was a class outside of my scope. As the class progressed, I became more and more interested in the materials the professor had to offer. Bereavement was more than what I once thought it consisted of, and Professor Windsor was very knowledgeable about the process. The intent of this paper is to highlight what was going on inside of me throughout this course.

“For all children who search for those who are missing-may the grief pass on through and emerge into healing” (Fry preface). After a close relative dies, it may feel as though the pain will never leave. As a child, it may fell as if they were robbed of a life with the person who had died. These children will forever face the pain of loss even though it will lighten. Deaths have effects that can forever affect children. These children will have to face the cruel world of reality and they may feel as though they never truly and fully fit in again. Family deaths have major effects on children and can lead to mental disorders, but there are ways to cope and deal with the pain of grief and loss.

One part of the article explains what the coping mechanisms are of people who lost loved ones. Some examples are that people cry a lot or have a lack of sleep. It also explains how to help others with coping with a loss. I think this is important because if you go through something like that, you always want someone you can talk to or to lean on for support. It’s a hard thing to go through and you don’t ever want to be alone. It’s also important to know what to say because you don’t want to say something to make them more upset. Some people can become depressed or be traumatized in these situations. Some people experience death in different ways, whether you were with the person when they passed away or you weren’t with them. Everyone has a different experience and everyone handles it differently. Death is a hard thing to cope with but if you have the right support, then you can become stronger and hopefully help someone that needs you when they lose

The thought of death and dying for many is just that, a mere thought that lives in the back of ones mind. However, for many others these thoughts are a painful reality. How individuals navigate through death and dying is a very personal journey that cannot be easily predicted. It is important to understand that there is neither a set time line nor right or wrong way to process the loss of life. The book On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stage Loss by Elisabeth Kübbler-Ross and David Kessler, aims to help individuals experiencing loss better understand the coping emotions associated with the grieving process through identifying five common stages of grief.