Helen H. Gordon's Essay Can We Love Our Battering Father?

Losing a parent is presumably an unthinkable concept for those lucky to have them alive, but sometimes the title of “parent” dies long before a body is placed in the ground. Toi Derricotte author of “Beginning Dialogues” unfortunately had to experience both the death of her mother’s title of “parent”, as well as her literal death. Derricotte’s parents had divorced when she was eighteen, and her father did not seem to play much of a role in her life; she was left to be raised by her mentally abusive mother. Her mother also had a tough road to walk growing up, having to face and deal with brutal issues like racism and bulling. Persevering through those tough times may be the underlining reason behind Derricotte’s mother’s negativity and abuse towards her daughter. Perhaps she just grew a thick skin at a very young age and had never learned how to feel, accept, or administer love. Derricotte’s had said: “She told me all my life she loved me, as if she completely forgot the hundred slights, humiliations, threats, and insinuations. Of course she loved me;

Bragg’s dejected tone when addressing his father’s latest demeanor is satirical as the Father’s past behavior is anything but celebratory. The author’s conscious decision to compare his memories of the Father to that of a “man” and a “monster” depicts the two emotions Bragg intended to invoke from his readers through the use of tone: contentment and fear. He wanted his readers to share his contentment with his father’s past demeanor, though distressing. In contrast, Bragg hoped his readers share his fear of his father’s past demeanor, despite his innate urge

The first passage reveals the parallel suffering occurring in the lives of different members of the family, which emphasizes the echoes between the sufferings of the father and the narrator. The narrator’s father’s despair over having watched

“It was only yesterday she had thought with a shudder, that life might be long.” (Chopin 17). “"Poof!"… gave a revealing look at the victims of domestic abuse and how they wrestle with overcoming their fear and their doubts after suffering years of abusive treatment.” (Toomer 5) Loureen unlike Mrs. Mallard, witnesses her husband’s death first hand during a marital argument. Loureen goes through denial questioning whether her husband’s death. She is happy her husband is dead but also feels guilty, because she knows how a mourning wife should react, but the joy of his demise is greater,” I should be praying, I should be thinking of the burial, but all that keeps popping into my mind is what will I wear on television when I share my horrible and wonderful story with a studio audience…”, Loureen’s husband, Samuel, was physically abusive, as revealed by Florence, Loureen’s best friend and neighbor. “Did that mother***** hit you again?” (Nottage 1563) This abuse, physical by Samuel and mental by Brently, is what allows Loureen in the drama “Poof!” and Mrs. Mallard in the short story “The Story of an Hour” to have the shared freedom they feel in the release from their respective abusive relationships.

In their recent work, Brad Manning and Sarah Vowell have written about more than one way to have a close, but different relationship with their fathers. There is has always been a belief that to get along with someone you would have normal conversations, enjoy each other’s company, or share a common interest. In the story they love their father as any other child would, but their ways of communication are not the same and are different from a common father-child relationship. Both authors use rhetorical devices as a framework for differentiating their relationships with their fathers by characterizing them.

A poem like 'Daddy', however brilliant a tour de force it can be acknowledged to be, and however its violence and vindictiveness can be understood or excused in light of the poet's parental and marital relations, remains, nevertheless, so entangled in biographical circumstances and rampages so permissively in the history of other people's sorrows that it simply overdraws its rights to our sympathy.

Family members will sometimes disagree with one another, but no matter what they say, love is always present. In Robert Hayden’s, “Those Winter Sundays”, love is always shown, no matter the circumstances. Throughout stanzas one, two, and three, the speaker and his father are shown caring for one another; however, at times, the speaker dislikes his father and isn’t grateful for all of the work his father does for him. In “Those Winter Sundays”, diction clears a path to show us signs of love between the speaker and the father, even though they are not clear.

The relationship between a parent and child is potentially one of the most influential in a child’s life. A positive interaction often yields admiration, love or a sense of support. A negative relationship may yield distrust, animosity or a sense of solitude. Theodore Roethke’s poem, “My Papa’s Waltz,” describes the admiration of his hardworking father. The speaker, a young boy, depicts roughhousing with his father in the form of a waltz; expressing his desire to stay up and spend more time together though their relationship is detached. Seamus Heaney’s “Digging,” instills a sense of respect, pride, and a slight affliction for the speaker’s choice of the pen over the spade. The speaker has chosen a different path in life than that of his father and grandfather. Although written at different stages in life, both Roethke and Heaney write a poem about their families utilizing vivid imagery to demonstrate the love and pride they felt for these men.

Often times in life, people begin to appreciate relationships when reflecting on one’s previous actions and regretting what one has done. In “Those Winter Sundays,” Robert Hayden describes how a son remembers his father’s sufferings and sacrifices that he did not appreciate in the past. Hayden uses visual and auditory imagery, personification, alliteration, and drastic shifts in tone to show how the son recognizes his father’s physical and emotional pain, and regrets his former indifference.

Finally, in Robert Hayden’s Those Winter Sundays, a new relationship is depicted. The poem describes the unappreciated sacrifices a father makes for his son. His son fails to understand the work that his father is doing to keep his son sheltered and fed. As he grows up though, the son comes to appreciate the struggles of his father, “Speaking indifferently to him [his father], who had driven out the cold and polished my good shoes as well.” p. 263. Relationships between fathers and children are not always the way they seem at the time, they are extremely different with perspective and applied maturity.

Having little to no concern for oneself, that definition of selfless best describes the father in Robert Hayden’s, “Those Winter Sundays”, as well as mine. Because of this I decided to write my first paper for this class about the relationship between a father and son. Before taking this class I was never able to relate to a poem quite like this one. Especially when it comes to how hard a good parent is willing work to provide for their family. How despite the fact that my Father, much like the father mentioned in Robert Hayden’s poem, did not receive the recognition he deserved for his hard work he never stopped going the extra mile for my family. Also similar to the poem I look back with some regret on the lack of appreciation I showed to my Father. With fathers that display such hard work and dedication, even in the face of people who don’t fully appreciate them, relating to the wonderful poem by Robert Hayden’s “Those Winter Sundays” was easier than I expected.

In some households, fathers play a major role in the eyes of children, teenagers and young adults. In other households, however, fathers could be seen as heroic, evil, and malicious. Fathers have lifelong effects on children. I am going to be arguing the importance of fathers and their relationships connecting them with their children. Joao Guimaraes Rosa's “The Third Bank of the River” and Sylvia Plath’s poem “Daddy”. Although there are lots of things in the world that can impact children, fathers impact their children and have lifelong effects on them.

Robert Hayden wrote about his strained relationship with his father in his childhood years. Yet, as much as Robert Hayden seemed not to appreciate his father when he was young, his father worked hard to ensure the comfort of his son, and to ready him for the adult life. This is understandable since parent child relationships often go through phases. Robert Hayden used strong language to create a tone that shifts from gratefulness to regret, painting a picture of his relationship with his father over a lifetime.

Since the beginning of mankind, parents are the ones who take care of their children. It is their responsibility to nurture them and guide them through life. In Jhumpa Lahiri’s novel The Namesake and Jonathan Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, the father figure plays a significant role in mentoring their son, but ultimately it is their own perspective that guides them the rest of the way. Yet both author’s approach at expressing this are both different and the same. The lack of a father figure has a significantly different effect on one’s youthful mind than if the father were with them every step of the way. Through the use of perspective and tragedy, both Lahiri and Foer convey the same message from two very different stories.

“You do not do, you do not do, anymore, black shoe in which I have lived like a foot for thirty years, poor and white, barely daring to breath or achoo.” This is the first stanza of “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath, and delivers the precise amount of bizarre yet relevant images that entice interest. It would be a disgrace to stop analyzing there; nevertheless, there is more revealed throughout this dramatic, sorrowful, and torturous account of a girl’s aversion toward her father. The following paragraphs will discuss the poem at length, covering various elements such as narrative voice, imagery, rhythm, and psychological effect. Plath’s use of each element designs a disturbing glance into the mind of woman who understood hatred and described it powerfully.