Essay about Home Burial: Gender Roles In Grief

Society and culture have created scripts (i.e., social norms) that dictate the ways in which we are to grieve. These scripts also prescribe the unique ways in which men and women are expected to respond to grief. Specifically, men’s grief scripts suggest that men will resolve to grieve in solitude as a demonstration of their self-reliance. Men may also have muted emotional response and expressed emotions are typically in the form of anger or guilt (Martin & Doka, 2011). Comparatively, women’s grief scripts suggest that women are more emotive and seek support from others to help cope with loss (Martin & Doka, 2011).

Set in the harsh patriarchal society of 1829 Iceland, Hannah Kent’s Burial Rites uses historical fiction to reimagine the life and death of Agnes Magnusdottir; a woman sentenced to death for her involvement in the murder of two men. The role of women in this oppressive society is thoroughly explored, establishing a social commentary which juxtaposes the double standards, sexual abuse and primitive gender roles of 19th century Iceland to the independence, equality and lifestyle choices for women in the 21st century.

People deal with loss and grief differently. However, such behavioral patterns could differ between different gender groups as their collective norms and values may differ. As dealing with loss and grief is an inevitable part of our experience, we must acknowledge those differences and learn to work with our partners in life. In the short story “Marzipan” the author Aimee Bender examines the roles loss and grief played in the two genders. While loss and grief usually cause passive and incommunicable emotions among men, women opt for disguising their emotions. Those stereotypical views about gender distinction, are supported and enforced by the traditional family structure reconstructed by the

The poem “The Widow’s Lament in Springtime” is a poem about a women who has lost her husband of thirty five years. Williams writes in the voice of a grieving woman instead of in his own voice. Now that her husband has died, the widow cannot find joy in her yard that she used to love. The widow may even be considering suicide. Williams, writing in free verse, writes a metaphor comparing the grief of a widow to her blooming yard in the springtime setting a tone of great sadness for the widow.

Bartels explains that wives often let out their stress induced, pent up anger on their husbands. He uses his own life and instances he has experienced with his wife to support himself. He describes his wife as tired, angry, and wanting to take that out on him (Bartels 58). Bartels has experienced this spousal anger firsthand, giving him credibility to write about it. He understands how the cycle of spousal anger works. However, his lack of other means of support makes his article fall short in some areas. Whereas telling a personal story may appeal to one reader, it may not appeal to the next. Bartels lacks a balance of logical and emotional appeal. The emotional appeal that Bartels uses is successful, though. He says that at times his wife is so negative that is “threatens to grind [his] spirit to dust” (Bartels 59). This use of emotional language is well executed because any reader will either be able to relate to him or feel sorry for the situation he is in. However, some women may sympathize with him less as they take the side of the wife in his story. His stance is flawed because he comes at this argument at an obviously subjective position. Bartels overlooks the idea that many women will not feel sorry for him if they disagree with what he has to say.

Burial Rites by Hannah Kent is a story of a woman, Agnes Magnusdottir, fighting against society’s opinion of her as she struggles to redeem herself. Agnes is portrayed as a woman who is struggling against the patriarchal system that seems to imprison her. The audience is positioned to feel sympathy for Agnes throughout the novel as she explains her harsh childhood through her conversations with Toti. We are also positioned to feel sympathy for her as Kent describes the way that she is treated by the men in her life, particularly Blondal and Natan. By the end of the novel the audience is positioned to feel angered by how Agnes is forced to struggle through to her final breaths with very little sympathy shown to her by the dominant characters

It can be difficult for a persona to understand a different perspective. The 1914 blank verse poem, Home Burial, by Robert Frost explores the death of a child and the consequences of this disturbing event on a mother and father. The poem is set at the burgeoning of WWI in pre-war western society. At its core this text explores the gender stereotypes of its time. The mother and father embody the two differing representations of grief over their child’s death. After a brief introduction, the text consists of mostly dialogue which gives the audience an insight into the emotional rift between two personas and their different experiences in dealing with the emotional consequences of death. The husband questions the emotional response of his wife using a demanding tone, desperate to try and understand the reasons for her longing actions “What is it you see From up there always- for

Each female character in As I Lay Dying question what it means to be a woman, and how it affects their place in society. William Faulkner carefully incorporates issues of sexuality and gender roles into his novel, which were also common themes discussed during the 1900’s. By examining Addie Bundren, Dewey Dell Bundren and Cora Tull one can see that each of their gender roles was clearly defined. All three women search for the meaning of life while exploring ideas of religion and sin. Faulkner shows the expectations placed on women and how it affected each of their individual identities. By using topics such as pregnancy, marriage, motherhood and sex one can easily view As I Lay Dying from a feminist lens, and see the difficulties women faced in the rural south during this time period.

“Home Burial” is mostly about a tense conversation between a husband and wife who recently buried their child. They show their grief and anger at the situation with insensitive words, such as the intimidating tone for ‘dear’. The wife is clearly upset after seeing the burial site of her child out of the window. This discovery is confronting but also fresh and meaningful as she is emotional and she wants to know why her husband is not showing grief. Frost illustrates a couple of broken structures in the poem. “What is it – what? She said. “Just that I see.” This quote is an example of the broken structure, it’s a metaphor for their relationship, which the title of the poem is also foreshadowing the collapse of their marriage. “A man must partly give up being a man with womenfolk.” This quote is juxtaposed with men and women used to show their divide between the husband and wife. “Two that don’t love can’t live together with them. But two that do can’t live together with them.” Is a paradox, it reveals the truth about their lives but they can’t resolve their broken relationship. The wife confronts the husband, “Who is that man? I didn’t know you.” This quote is visual imagery as she was looking at her husband digging the grave. She made the confronting discovery that had influenced her original thoughts of her husband. This poem links to the confronting discovery by showing the husband and wife’s different perspectives on their dead son and no matter how much the husband tries to understand her, they can’t mend their relationship. This discovery is also in “Will Grayson, Will Grayson”, as it can relate to “Home Burial” with a broken relationship. There are two Will Graysons with relationship problems with the same person, Tiny Cooper. The first Will’s relationship with Tiny is that they

Black Americans can have different emotions from crying to being silent. People usually gather in large gatherings to pay respect. Black Americans have a belief that death is God’s will and the deceased is in God’s hand and will be reunited

The poem that I have selected for this essay is “Talking to Grief” by Denise Levertov. I chose this poem because it talks about grief. It also talks about the place that grief should have in a person’s life. The poem describes grief, and compares it to a “homeless dog.” It also describes how a dog deserves its own place in the house, instead of living under a porch or being homeless. This poem talks about how a person can be aware that grief is present, but that it is not always acknowledged and accepted. We all experience grief in different ways, and for different reasons. Everyone deals with grief in their own personal way. This poem describes a point in a person’s life when they are ready to accept grief as a part of their life

now. The only thing I can do now is pray and hope. To pray that I will

In this essay I will outline the main theoretical models relating to loss and grief.

The five stages of grief are Denial, Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Amy is having difficulty moving through these five stages of grief and is trapped in the anger and denial stage. Her husband’s insensitivity during their child’s burial triggers a dramatic emotional outburst during her fragile state of mind. This insensitivity is evidenced by Amy’s saying, “If you had any feelings, you that dug with your own hand how could you?” (Frost 1131). This statement by Amy signifies that she is using her husband’s apparent insensitivity as an outlet for her anger. Amy’s husband apparently agitates and intensifies her feeling, which clearly demonstrates signs of an acute mood disorder.

The mother's road to finding closure over her son's death is much longer than her husband's. Her feelings throughout the poem are of