Homosexual Experience Cheating on My Wife

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I grew up in a very 'non-visibly gay' part of the country: The Midwest. Worse even- I hail from a staunch evangelical family. Before now, my parents had never known anyone openly gay. This completely rendered my formative exposure to a minimum. I also grew up without cable, which does indeed retard my adulthood pulp conversations. My ideas of homosexuality were predominately characterized by Ernie and Bert on Sesame Street and Jack Tripper from Three's Company, whose character only pretended to be gay to get cheap rent. There was also a neighbor boy on Too Close For Comfort, whom was just assumed to be gay, but was never outed.

When I was twelve and thirteen I latched on to role-model boys. The pictures I choose to put beside my
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I wondered what the guys did in there. And honestly, I didn?t fully know. I wanted to know. ?They are probably sucking each other off at this very moment! Someone could suck me off in there!? My thoughts and pulse raced. The ease of such sin scared and excited me.

I was feeling increasingly funny every time I went past what I later found out to be deemed the ?Gayborhood?, or even just an attractive man on the street. More than just blushing or giddiness, my crotch actually burned. It tingled. I was so stimulated- more than just hard- more than just erect- I was on fire: Flaming.

On the second evening of my two week bachelorhood, I boldly toured the two big bars that I was sure were gay. This night I first inhaled what is now ingrained into my memory:
Pinesol + cologne + cigarettes + man-sweat and air-conditioning = any standard gay bar aroma.

I second-guessed myself throughout my entire gay pub-crawl. What was I doing there? I figured they had rainbow flags so they must be gay but they also had drinks. After all, I rationalized that I wanted to drink. I settled into the big pink bar, the 12th Air Command. In the years to follow I would find more comfort in the other, larger and higher volume of younger eye-candy bar, Woody?s. Their drinks are considerably stronger and cheaper. But everywhere, the smell remains the same. Cold air-conditioning early in the evening magnifies the smell. The rooms heat up as the clock approaches midnight- when
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