Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling

Gurman, A. S. (2008). Clinical handbook of couple therapy (4th ed.). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Marriage is a significant part of Judaism bringing together a woman and man under God’s reign. It is the mitzvah (122) “To marry a wife by means of ketubah and keddushin” (Deut 22:13), all Jewish adherents see marriage as a necessity in order to obey God and to experience the fullness of life. In Genesis God says: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” It is a link between individuals and the wider community as it recognises two individuals coming together, celebrated by the wider community. Also the marriage ceremony itself contains symbolic significance to Judaism, conveying Jewish beliefs through symbols, actions and words.

It conveys purpose and selflessness as paramount to this growth. This unit closes with couples in distress and the crisis they face. It explains that addiction, infidelity, and major losses are some of the most common difficulties couples face. Recognizing unstable patterns and realizing when referral is necessary are covered here.

Gottman couples therapy is an integrative approach that focuses on emotion, behavior, cognitive, and narrative approaches with in a systemic framework (Gottman & Gottman, 2013). This therapy is based on extensive research about how stable relationships work and how unstable relationships fail. The goal of Gottman therapy is to help couple process their inevitable fights, moments of miscommunication, or hurt feelings and to enable them to repair the relationship (Gottman & Gottman, 2013). Moreover, the goal is to “heal the wounds crated by regrettable incidents” (Gottman & Gottman, 2013, p. 95).

The two therapy techniques that are being questioned this week are Emotional Focused Couple Therapy and Hope Focused Couple Therapy. Both techniques are effective in marital and couple therapy and both systems can be utilized effectively, however, I think comparable to other techniques the results depend on the people and the therapist. Hope focused therapy is centered around the brain and how couples perceive where their marriage is and where they want it to go. Watson (2017) states, “The approach is oriented around hopefulness and strengths, helping couples assess their strengths and create a positive narrative around them and their relationship to combat the discouragement and hopelessness that couples typically bring into counseling,”

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

After reading two articles it was interesting to note the differences and similarities between the two intellectual and highly respected individuals within the field of Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT). Each makes many valid points yet with such opposing viewpoints. By taking a closer look at some specific areas one may see that though these men have different beliefs on how treatment should be conducted, there are also some parallels. Some of the topics will include the history and future of Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT), what they agree and disagree on along with the challenges each has dealt with. Finally the author of this paper will provide insight as to what this means for her as she begins her journey to becoming a Marriage and Family therapist.

 McFarland continues, "œIf we can help couples see there'™s hope for their marriage, and they can believe in that hope, just a little, they almost always end up having a better marriage than before. For a good many of the couples I see, the problems that bring them into counseling become the raw material they need to grow a great marriage. The crisis brings the breakthrough."

When a couple agrees to counseling to help their marriage, one of the first things sought after would be to resolve differences that are weighing heavy on the marriage. In this case, Steve and Cindy have started on a journey through taking the PREPARE/ENRICH program. The tests and answers are detailed to the couples characteristics and personalities and cover the couples strengths and weaknesses. This case study analysis will separate the case into three main topics of discussion. Their strengths and weaknesses will be highlighted first then potential conflicts or problems will be discussed and finally a

Before I started my paper, I wanted to explain what HIV/Aids is and how it affects us. For my research, I was able to use the sources of a movie, two documentaries, and two websites. I will first begin with Tyler Perry’s movie “Confessions of a Marriage Counselor” which features the story of a young married marriage counselor who grows bored in her 6 year marriage and falls for one of her clients. What she does not know is her client is possessive, abusive, and has HIV. In the movie the main character is conflicted between the life that she wants (the abuser) and the life that she has (caring husband). Although she states all the signs of an abuser to the abuser during his session, she did not see it coming. She described them as being easily

Christians believe that marriage is a gift from God, one that should not be taken for granted. It is the right atmosphere to engage in sexual relations and to build a family life. Getting married in a church, in front of God, is very important.

Marriage is that relationship between a man and a woman under whose shadow alone there can be true reverence for the mystery, dignity and sacredness of life. Scripture represents marriage not only as Mosaic ordinance and New Testament typology of the Church and Jesus Christ, the Bridegroom, but it is also part of the scheme of creation intended for all humanity. Its sacredness goes back to the creation of man.

The image of the relationship between bridegroom and bride used to explain the relationship between Christ and the Church in the scriptures are appealing to a natural human relationship. The Scripture however shows that Christ’s love for the Church surpasses natural human love. Christ’s love for the Church is a love of complete self-giving expressed in his death on the Cross. In this same vain, Christian marriage too aspires not only for natural human love, but also to Christ’s love for the Church:

Where there is love, pain will always follow not too far behind. At times, those words are forgotten, especially as we experience heart-breaking moments in a marriage. The horrible moments always seem to outlive the wonderful ones nowadays. Even if more than half of all marriages are likely to fail, that doesn’t mean it 's impossible to having a lasting marriage in today 's society. All it takes is both member having faith. It begins when the married couple has a spiritual connection and faith in something, or someone higher than themselves, like God. If couples have that, nothing will break their marriage. For example, it had been shown that those with a strong religious faith tend to have a lasting relationship than those who haven 't found that faith. Faith can’t be learned or taught, it’s something that’s acquired when learning there more to life than just what we want or believe. However, believing in the words of God can lead a person to have faith in life’s blessing, as other before had. Faith inspires unconditional love and selfless acts. We learn to replace “what I want” in a marriage, and turns it into “what you or we both need.” However, those act’s of kindness cannot be done alone. There needs a two way commitment to truly have faith in one another. The next important step to maintaining a marriage is opening up to your partner. A marriage without communication will not last very long. It’s normal for people to keep feelings to themselves or a close friend.

The author believe that we should not force people back into the older forms of marriage, because the main things that have weakened marriage as an institution are the same things that have strengthened marriage as a relationship.