Reader, there is a good chance that divorce has affected you in some way. It comes in and corrupts the stability surrounding you with disillusionment and confusion. The ratio at which marriages end in a divorce are far more inferior than one that is successful in terms of sustaining a healthy and long lasting relationship. Marriage is defined as “the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman as partners in a relationship.” However, it seems as if this union is complicated and full of many misunderstandings. So what are the secrets to maintaining a relationship that lasts “until death do you part?” How do couples survive the many struggles of life? What steps can two people take to prevent terminating tension? There are multiple solutions to the preceding questions. Psychologists monitor patterns of relationships by by using the PAIR Project and ultimately predict compatibility between two people. Others take experience from past relationships and convert it into how they think, act, and relate with their partner. Religious officials use different sources of spiritual guidance to teach what, spiritually, keeps a couple in genuine contentment. Together, these three approaches, have created an ultimate guideline to a successful relationship with one’s significant other. What is the PAIR Project? Some psychologists use a very detailed and strategic process to study romantic relationships from courtship to marriage. They use this process to distinguish any early
The majority of people who join together with their significant other through the act of marriage hope and dream that marriage will surround them with infinite love and happiness; unfortunately that is not always the case. In fact, “according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2013 American Community Survey, 10 percent of Maine women and 11 percent of men in Maine are divorced.”1 Though 10 and 11 percent seem like fairly small percentages, 10 percent of Maine women is approximately 67,831 women, and 11 percent of Maine men is approximately 71,506 men, which truly are not small figures to take into consideration. Since marriages do not always have a happy ending
Pratz’s first main point is that marriages can be predicted to either succeed or end in divorce within the early stages of courtship or initial years of marriage. She offers that the early stages of distress are what determine a couple’s fate. Pratz includes Ted Huston, a professor of human ecology and psychology at the University of Texas, and his Process of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships Project as her main source throughout the article. Pratz states, “through multiple
Patz opens the article with a personal anecdote and explanation of her interest behind this article, being a lecture given addressing high divorce rates and their roots, and her own experience with divorce. She directly discusses the emotions often felt early in a relationship and the euphoric nature of the marriage directly after the honeymoon. She specifically cites the indicator that the first two years of marriage directly correlate to the trajectory of the following marriage. Furthermore, she also later references specific examples from a long study on 56 different couples, in which couples that were in the ‘courting’ stage longer saw more successful results in creating a long and lasting marriage founded on love and respect. Her claim of the direct correlation between time and marital success is discussed frequently throughout the article, further underlining her message, and emphasizing ill-preparedness as a major factor in failing marriages.
Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).
Lebow (2006) stated that currently couples therapy is on a roll more than it was 20 years ago, as it has become more accepted by the general public. This article revealed some unique insight into different aspects of why some couples are satisfied, or succeed at remaining together and why some couples are not satisfied, or do not remain together. Learning information from an article of this nature would benefit me as a marriage counselor because I feel it would be important to know what new advances are being
Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’
In the article “WE WANT A DIVORCE” written by SIRS Staff, readers ascertain that divorce rates have proliferated over the past 30 years due to lack of interest in their partner, different beliefs and habits, and financial problems. Declining interest is very problematic because some couples find their relationship was only actualized to escape reality. While losing interest in their partner is troublesome, the lack of commonality in values and customs make it excruciating to live together. Furthermore, the stress of money can diminish the bonds of love and it can terminate the marriage because the power of money becomes stronger than the power of love. Therefore, divorce can manifest when there is a lack of interest in their partner, different
In the article, “Will Your Marriage Last?” author Aviva Patz, the executive editor of Psychology Today reports on the very question asked as the title. Patz notes the characteristics and short comes that come along with marriage. Along with the reasons many marriages today end in divorce. This article is about the pillars marriage stands on, but it is really about the self centeredness of society today.
There is an often-argued debate among people throughout the world concerning arranged marriages versus marrying for love. The argument against arranged marriages is often that the two people marrying do not love one another, and so they may spend their entire lives in unhappiness. Unhappiness, though, can come from any relationship, free will or not, and so is the case with traumatic bonding. How can two people with no reasonable compatibility maintain a relationship for any amount of time? A study by Hatfield and Rapson (1996) showed that “an untold number of husbands receive physical abuse from their wives…as well as incidences of stalking and cases of clinical depression and suicide are commonly associated with romantic attraction…” (Fisher
John M. Gottman’s book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”. Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a book about saving and enhancing marital life written by the professor of psychology at the University of Washington John Gottman and Nan Silver. The given book is considered to be a peer-reviewed source, since the information presented in it is not solely based on observations, but statistical data and research. The author analyzes the behavioral patterns and communication of hundreds of married couples, which allows him to make dozens of surprising conclusions about happy marriage, which has proved to have helped many people save and enhance their marriages.
There is a noticeable difference between marriage in fiction and marriage in reality. No matter how hard we try to embellish the latter, the former is always more alluring. Indulging in clichéd romance storybook and movie endings—where both the heroic female and male leads swear eternal love to each other—bring undeniable pleasure to us. Marriage (at least for the main characters) is often utilized in fictional mediums (such as storybooks and movies) as the ultimate “happy ending.” It is one of the best indicators that peace is restored, the heroes are rewarded, and it leaves the audience or reader in a feel-good state. Those endings reinforce the hope that such marriages can also be achieved in our own lives, but we often fail to account for one thing: what happens to the marriage after the credits roll? What happens to the marriage once the last page is turned? Desperation Passes by Phil Hutcheon and A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby reveal that marriage is not a “happy ending”—it is an arduous journey. It can be ugly, revolting, and a tiresome. Utilizing instances of struggling marriages from Desperation Passes (Allenby’s divorce), A Long Way Down (Martin’s divorce and affair), and my own life, I will expound upon the idea that life after holy matrimony can be rigorous.
One of the main things people do when they feel great chemistry between one another is get married. Some couples are unable to maintain their relationship and they get a divorce; which is one of the solutions to solve the problems between husband and wife. Most people think carefully before they get married however the divorce rates are continuously increasing.
Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day? What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates? Perhaps young married couples are not mature enough to be engaged in such a trremendous responsibility, or, maybe, the couples really do not know each other as well as they thought. Possibly, they have been blinded by infatuation rather than by
“DIVORCE” – Just the sound of such word in any married couple or children’s ear can cause great agony that can even become terminal. Research and personal experience, has proven that in today's society, divorce is more common amongst newlyweds. Since 2009 the rate of divorce has increased to approximately forty percent, There are three out of every ten marriage that ends up in divorce before it reaches the stage of maturity, and the most prevalent results are – lack of communication and infidelity.