How I Learned With Depression

Imagine being underwater. Imagine not being able to reach the top, gasping for air, and not being able to breathe no matter how much effort is put in. Imagine sinking deeper and deeper to the bottom and finally just getting used to living in the darkness. That is how it is living with depression. Depression affects almost 20 million people every year. The problem with depression, besides its existence, is that it commonly goes untreated, especially in teens. Not treating depression increases the chance of drug and alcohol addiction, causes problems in relationships, and can make it hard to overcome other illnesses. The reason it goes untreated is because people

I was eleven years old when my world crumbled to pieces as a side effect of depression. Although I was able to force myself to look happy on the outside, my depression and thoughts of suicide ate away at all the skills that allowed me to function in life. I was left unmotivated, unenergized, and wanting to disappear. Out of the 180 day school year my freshman year, I attended only 80 of those days. I was unable to live and achieve the future everyone thought I was capable of having. It took countless hours in therapy, support from teachers, counselors, and family, and a will to continue pushing forward when it seemed impossible. Yet like the lotus flower, I bloomed from the bottom of a muddy pool, breaking through the surface ready to take in the sun.

I think you and I could relate, but only because we have parents who might not understand just how serious an illness such as depression is.

They always say that depression is something that’s all in your head. It’s something made up, something fabricated by your own selfish internal world. You don’t realize when it hits you or how it hits you. One day you just realize you no longer know how to feel; you’ve become numb. Growing up I was happy. I lived a happy life. I had a bed of my own and a roof over my head. I was surrounded by friends and family who loved me. I was content for as long as I can remember.

Living with depression is, a mental illness, is equivalent to wrestling your will to live each day. I struggled gravely through my childhood especially as an adolescent with feeling of despair, hopelessness while entertaining the thoughts of suicide. I have battled with this illness for years and it wasn’t until I was an adult in my twenties did I seek help and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and placed on Lexapro. After being diagnosed, for years, I secretly struggles and “attempted” to be normal. However, my attempts proved futile as the weight of my affliction would often consume my energy, thoughts and emotions.

I began to piece together my mental state, one small shard at a time. I learned about myself and the power of my own mind, the one that I once believed to be working against me. I slowly started to open myself up to my parents and once I had gained their support, everything was looking up. With the additional help of my newly found counselor, I was back to living my old life without fear and playing basketball in just a few months. I had never felt more free and in control of my life.

My entire life I have always struggled with depression. I did not produce any outward signs of it to the world around me until I reached third grade when I told my mother, “I do not want to be alive anymore” to which was not handled well.(instead of getting me the help I needed she grounded me and I was treated as if I did something to get myself in trouble). I wasn’t given any actual help until the end of eighth grade and the beginning of ninth. I started to see a counselor and started to take medication; it all helped for quite some time but toward the end of ninth grade something terrible happened.

When I was finishing middle school, I had thoughts of ending my life, but I knew there were people that cared of me. My parents had taken me to therapy the moment I thought of suicide. The therapy didn't really help but my therapist was really nice. I told her that I usually can't make up my mind, I have trouble sleeping, I usually have a loss in appetite, and I have lost weight. People say that I look anorexic at school which is very hurtful. My therapist told me that when she was younger she had seasonal depression disorder which means she had depression during the winter time. It affected her feelings about activities and school. But she didn't let it stop her. She took medications and talked to her friends about it. Now I know that I'm not alone, and it made me feel much better. My therapist had gotten me on some antidepressants a couple of weeks after our first appointment. They didn’t work the first time I tried them, but my therapist told me they usually work on the second or third time you use them. So every morning I would take one capsule. I was able to sleep better, my weight problems got better, I had more energy, my appetite grew, and I had an increased desire to engage in life. I was happy again, I felt

Throughout life we all experience situations that may alter our mental health or make us feel like there is no hope in the world. One of the most common experiences we all go through is feeling great sadness or not feeling like we are the best version of ourselves. Even though we all may go through similar life transitions and the ups and downs that get brought along with such transitions, there is still extreme stigma around depression and mental health in general. So much so, that we very rarely talk about our mental health with each other and instead seek advice from the professionals in the medical field. As we grow older we may experience things that we did not think about while we were young, such as losing a loved one due to death or

During freshman year in high school, I was diagnosed with depression. For a long time, I suspected that this was most likely the case, but I couldn’t be certain. I worked hard to get my parents to take me to the right people to help me because I thought that once I had my diagnosis, I could get help with many things - one in particular was school. However, this didn’t turn out to be the case, and in many situations, never does. Many people don’t realize how the symptoms of depression affect one’s ability to function in class. Depression is often stereotyped or romanticized into something it’s not, and that greatly affects all of those who have been diagnosed - in particular those still in school. For instance, when seeking help at school, many

Depression for me was one of those sneaky things that I didn’t realize was a problem until it became a huge problem. I honestly did not realize that I had, what is essentially a debilitating illness, until I was so completely and totally enfeebled by it that I could barely ask for help.

Although I have been struggling with depression all these years, I have pushed through and forced myself to get help and learn how to deal with what was going on. I started with getting a therapist so I actually had someone to talk to about everything with and would understand what

Depression Quest is an interactive fiction game that allows me to play as a guy who is living with depression. Throughout the game I was given scenarios and choices to pick from; the story continues and changes depending on the answer I choose. While playing this game, I was able to relate to my character from the game in almost every factors. I am currently depressed, and I understand that living life with depression is harder than anyone could imagine. I thought that after a couple of years I would get used to it, but I feel like it only gets harder.

Depression is not, “one step forward, two steps back.” It feels much more like “one step forward, a hundred steps back.” It feels like I’m going nowhere. It feels like any accomplishment at all is followed by a hundred setbacks. Depression takes away all of your motivation and drive to do anything. Depression tells you thoughts such as, “It’s not worth it to get out of bed today,” or “You’re worthless, stupid and no one cares about you.” Even though it is all in your head, you somehow believe it. Anxiety continually throws “what if” thoughts around your head. That is the cruel reality of living with both depression and anxiety. With my anxiety, it is hard for me to drive to therapy every week. I am constantly overthinking everything, no matter how big or small the activity is. As I drive to therapy, my stomach aches. I get sweaty palms, and my heart race increases. I feel shaky and lightheaded, but I keep driving because I know therapy will help me in the long run. My mind is already making me feel nauseous the closer I get to arriving. I have become home-bound and just the thought of getting through the day provokes anxiety. I feel extremely uncomfortable, out of control and helpless. Extreme anxiety has pushed me to the point of self-harming that began in October 2016. I try to keep busy but I have lost interest in the things that I enjoyed the most like Reading, going out with family, and going to places that requires me to be in social situations. My lack of interest and enjoyment in activities has caused animosity in my personal relationships and family. I know longer have friends. I have mood swings that range from angry outbursts to excessive crying. I was the "go getter", the person you could always rely upon to get things done and now I have no motivation, interest to doing anything or energy to go anywhere. My motivation and self esteem sinks lower than any kind of

To begin with, let us make clear what is depression. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression is described as a serious mental disorder in which a person suffers long time of sadness, loneliness, and other negative feelings. Depression affects how you feel about yourself such as lack of energy and concentration, lose interest in work and hobbies, and have trouble of insomnia. Depression makes life more and more difficult and dispirited. More importantly, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), major depression is the leading cause of mental disorder for people in the United States aged 15 to 44. Recent estimates show that about 10 to 15% of children and teens experience depression at