How My Parents Divorce Affected My Life

Throughout my childhood, my environment consisted of switching between my mother's and father's house every week. Since I was an infant, my parents have been divorced and I believe that being a child of divorce has shaped my life tremendous ways. Through the hardships that came with living in two houses for 16 years of my life, I had the time to mature and learn a lot about myself and who I wanted to be as a person. Watching my parents for many years, I realized what I did and did not want to be when I grew up. From my father, I wanted to have the dedication and perseverance that he exhibited. From my mother, I wanted to be friendly and beautiful like her. However, there was many qualities that my parents carried that I did not want to take

There is one loss in my life that affected many aspects of my life for many years, the divorce of my parents. I was in barley entering the first grade and the tender age of five, soon to turn six, when my parents spent their last night as a married couple. I do not have many memories of my parents as a couple but I do remember the day my Daddy left. He was a policeman and I watched as his cruiser drove away from our family home. I remember my mom crying and not being willing to console me or explain to me what was happening. All I knew is there was a fight, my dad left, it seemed different than other times when he left, and my mom was crying. Everything about my life changed in the blink of a five year old’s eyes which is what makes this loss so significant in my life.

It was less than a second, maybe half a second, but it changed everything. It was late at night after a soccer game. I was laying down in my room, coloring in a picture book, when my parents called me downstairs. After my sister and I walked downstairs, we were told to sit on the couch. Apparently my parents had something important to tell us, i didnt really realize what was going to happen because I was younger, so I sat on the couch smiling widely.

Six years ago, a summer afternoon, my dad hugged me and I said “I will be gone for three days, I have a job in Austin, but I promise that I will be back before your birthday. I promise.” Days, weeks, months almost two years passed by and I did not receive any phone call or text message from him. Throughout that time my dad was gone, my mom told me that she was getting the papers ready to divorce my dad. I was noticing that the last three-four years that I was living with both of my parents, their relationship was getting worse. It was not a healthy situation for anyone in the house. What I mean about not being healthy is that my mother and father were damaging one another, emotionally and verbally, which my brothers and I would watch everything. Every day was the same routine, we forgot how it was to have a peaceful home. Around that moment, I honestly never thought divorce was going to be their solution.

Often enough, divorce usually has a negative effect on people. I am no exception to that. Though I was too young to remember what life was like before my parents separated themselves, having that life for as long as I can think of was not a good experience. It caused me to have a serious case of anxiety before going to my dad’s house for visitation, during, and after. No one likes to feel anxious or stressed, and I felt that everyday, all the time. I was a self-conscious, shy girl who wasn’t ready for complex

My parents divorced when I was about seven years old, and my mom became the custodial parent. As my younger sister and brother, and I could adapt to always going back and forth between our parent’s. The challenging thing about having divorced parents is meeting their new significant other, which I have met multiple of them. Another thing is meeting my parent’s significant other’s children. Each person I met was nice, and if I was meeting a toddler, they were energetic. Although, each time I did meet these people, I was usually very distant and dramatic.

Looking back at my past, I recall my mother and father’s relationship as if it were yesterday. I am only four years old, small and curious; I tended to walk around my home aimlessly. I would climb book shelves like a mountain explorer venturing through the Himalayans, draw on walls to open windows to my own imagination, or run laps around the living room rug because to me I was an Olympic track star competing for her gold medal; however my parents did not enjoy my rambunctious imagination. My parents never punished me for it but would blame each other for horrible parenting skills; at the time I did not understand their fights, but instead was curious about why they would fight.

My parents' divorce was one of my most significant life events. As a result of my parents' divorce, I lived in a divided home. I spent part of my time with my father (usually weekends and a few holidays) and part of my time with my mother (weekdays and other major holidays). Unlike other children my age, who tended to conceive of their parents as infallible well into adolescence, I understood at a young age that my parents were not perfect. My mother frequently criticized my father and vice versa. At first, I felt resentful towards both of them for shattering my world. It was uncomfortable and awkward having to deal with both of them when the anger of the divorce was still festering.

7th grade was the year I woke up. My mom called me into her bedroom late one afternoon and was still sitting on her bed, wearing her pajamas. The bright and cheerful sunshine that lit up the room gave a false ambiance of the tension that clouded the air. I already knew what she was going to say, but I did not want to believe it as the truth. I had noticed that my mom and dad's relationship with one another was growing apart just by the way they acted around each other. The conversations between them became shorter and their affection for one another began to fade. My dad spent his nights falling asleep watching TV on the couch, while my mom slowly disappeared back into her bedroom, alone. This had been happening for a while now, so I do not know why I was even surprised when my mom said to me that, “Your dad and I are getting a divorce”. I should have seen it coming. The clues were all in front of me, but I was too afraid to put them together. I was scared because, for the first time in my life, the image of my "perfect" family was crumbling before me. I knew inside that my family was falling apart, but I was desperately holding onto the fibers that I thought were keeping us together. It is hard to believe that one encounter can change the course of one's life forever. In this instance, I was awoken from the dream that I had been living in for so long.

Growing up with divorced parents is something I would not wish on anyone. Having to live in fear is not something a child should ever have to do. Worrying if you are going to get berated for everything you do does not make for an easy childhood. Counting down the days you have in hell is not something I will ever have to do again.

I will be focussing on how parental divorce affects a young person aged fifteen to sixteen, I will also be looking at the things that can be done in order to make it as easy as it can be; as divorce is not an easy thing for anyone to go through. My two key issues will be the effects of the transition and the emotional support needed to make it easier. Divorce has many different effects, among the effects is the possibility of having to move away/ leave friends, having to make new starts, choice of who and where they are going to live with as well as effects on school work, attendance and exams; there are also the effects on their well-being as some feel like their whole life is being torn apart in front of their eyes.

Whenever I hear people talking about divorce, or hear phrases such as “broken family” I want to either comfort or correct the person. I am able to set aside the sliver of pain that resides in the back of my head and realize all the wonderful things that have come out of my parent’s separation. I was pretty young when my parents started to have constant arguments but never really put the pieces together on my own. My worst childhood memories are not of scraped knees or broken bones but a broken heart. What had happened? What had I done? I can now confidently say that all the difficult times my parents’ divorce put me through have helped to bring my family together, separately. It left me with countless life lessons and the realization that things can always be worse. My parents’ divorce not only brought me severe pain but strength. It’s helped me to grow as an individual and I want to always remember that this is how things were meant to be.

Divorce is a plague that is destroying numerous families across the United States of America. Sadly, when husbands and wives divorce, the children are often caught directly in the middle. Throughout the years divorce has been becoming more and more common. In the 1920's it was a rare find to know a person whom had been divorced, today it is a rarity not to know of one who has been, or will be divorced. Divorce has numerous effects on the structures of families, and many devastating effects on the children that must experience it, although sometimes necessary, divorce radically changes the lives of adolescents and adults alike.

Devastated, I ran to my room gushing my eyes out. All these emotions going through my head of how my life would be without my parents in the same room or even house. From what I remember it all started about mid-June, the weeks before that were crucial. My parents would always argue over how to deal with a situation between me and my brother, Skyler. They hardly spoke to one another, but when they did they would just start bickering. I remember, one night after dinner they both went into ''their'' room with the door locked yelling at one another. Skyler and I didn’t know what to do, so we went downstairs and tried to figure out what was going to happen. With a scared tone I asked if mom and dad were going to get a divorce?" He answered back '' No, they love each other, they wouldn’t do that to us." That following night, was a school night everything was quiet except for my crying. I couldn’t sleep; all I was thinking about how it's going to affect my family.

When I was eight years old my parents separated, and they got officially divorced when I was twelve. After my parents separated, my mother took on being a single-parent. My father gave up all his rights to my sister and I. Prior to my parents separating, my family was considered upper-middle class. My dad worked as a computer engineer, and my mom was a stay at home mother. After my parents split, my sister and I went from having everything to nothing in a day. My mom had to move back in with her parents until she could find a full-time job and a place for us to live. Because I have seen my mother struggle as a single-mother, I matured a lot faster than most children my age. Even though we struggled with money growing up, my mother always made it a point to go on vacation yearly with my sister and I; I have been to over 30 states because my mom loves to road trip. Additionally, it has always been a family tradition of ours to go to the state fair every year. Because of my family experience growing up, I am very independent. I also learned to appreciate the little things in life. My mom always taught my sister and I that time spent with family is far more valuable than materialistic things. My mother and I are very close to this day, and I will forever be grateful for everything she has done for my sister and me.