How Not To Talk To Your Kids Summary

I just recently had the opportunity to read the magazine article from The Atlantic titled “The Overprotected Kid” by Hanna Rosin. This article constantly critiques and bashes society along with the parenting styles of today. I agree with Rosin that parents are too protective over their children because parents today are holding back their children and are preventing them from many experiences. Fortunately, my parents were not part of this trend, allowing me to explore and learn from my own experiences and mistakes. Playgrounds are becoming to a point that is almost too safe and children are taking less risks. Playgrounds and parents are not allowing kids to learn on their own and experience life while taking risks.

In Susan Maushart’s essay “When My Kids Unplugged” she talks about what it was like for her children when she wouldn’t let them keep using their electronics because they were so engrossed with them. Maushart talks about the change that each child went though. She talks about how her son Bill is able to go back to playing his saxophone, and how he really changed after the first week of his separation anxiety from his devices. Maushart says, “UP to that point, Bill had barley picked up his instrument in two years” (99). His sister Sussy, also ended up switching her friend groups since she wasn’t online talking to them anymore.

❖ Perhaps the last thing that should be mentioned when relating to how pupils learn and develop self-esteem is. “The question is, not how intelligent is the child, but in what ways is the child intelligent?”

For this to be most effective, it is important that children understand why praise is given. And that the praise is given when the child has done something right like sharing.

What is the first thing people think of when they hear the “smart” kid talks about his accomplishments? Those smart kids get called a nerd and automatically have to deal negative things all because society itself thinks it is okay to do so. In “Anti-Intellectualism: Why We Hate Smart Kids”, Grant Penrod explains why anti-intellectualism exist. People will remember what the anti-intellectuals do but not so much the intellectuals. Society envy those who are smarter than them and only look at any other accomplishment besides education accomplishments. Anti- Intellectuals tend to bash others around them for their success academically. That is how society works in every generation. Penrod informs everyone of an example of how nerds can be treated differently especially in the school system. More recognition goes to sports teams instead of debates teams, which is factual. Penrod’s lack of credible information and the tone that has been presented has brought a lot of thoughts that need to be analyzed more closely on why he presented this article this way.

Teachers and parents have dedicated their time to tell children that they are smart and talented every time they get a good grade. Praising children this type of way has had an impact on their lives. Dweck said “many students believe that intelligence is fixed, that each person has certain amount and that’s that”. Students with fixed mindset only care about how smart they look or how smart they appear. By having this fix mindset, they turn down the ability to learn new things. They believe that if you study hard, you are not smart enough, and that if you were smart things will come to you with no effort. This has made students lose their belief in oneself when they face complicated circumstance. Dweck says that the reason for kids to have a fixed mindset is “intelligence

There Are No Children Here by Alex Kotlowitz tells the harrowing story of the Rivers family and their shocking experiences living in an underserved Chicago public housing project. The story focuses on Lafayette, a middle school aged boy discovering his identity, Pharoah, an elementary school aged boy with high ambition and goals, and their resilient mother LaJoe. Matza’s Techniques of Neutralization discuss how people can create rationalizations to justify delinquencies and crimes. Specifically applicable to There Are No Children Here is the theory of Denial of Responsibility which occurs when the perpetrator of an offense claims the situation was out of their control, they did not know the law, they were a victim of circumstance, or they were acted upon by outside forces rather than acting themselves. The second theory applicable to There Are No Children Here is Becker’s theory of Master Status. The theory of Master Status states that labels can take on a “master status” and can have an enormous influence and once you’ve been labeled, then define you. These theories aid in understanding how the pattern of violence and destruction is perpetuated in the projects of Chicago and the misfortune in the Rivers family.

Harlen Coben in an editorial titled “The Undercover Parent” (March 16, 2008) claims that parents should have conversations about their concerns with teens, and let them know how spyware is a possibility.Should parents of teens and tweens go undercover? Harlen Coben, the author is trying to make parents have conversations with their teens and tween about internet safety, and let them know if spyware is a possibility. I agree but in some opinions i disagree with Coben and his prediction. If you put spyware on your computer, you have the ability to log every keystroke your child makes and thus a good portion of his or her private world. That’s what spyware is at least the parental monitoring kind. You don’t have to be an expert to put it on your computer.

Through social interactions, children begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments and abilities (Cherry 2014).

In novel No-No Boy, Japanese-American writer, John Okada, tells a story centered around the life of a young Japanese-American boy named Ichiro Yamada who was seen and treated as a “No-No boy” during/after World War II. After Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor, the United States government ordered the mandatory relocation of people with Japanese ancestry regardless of their citizenships and incarcerated them in internment camps. In internment camps, Japanese Americans who refused to sign the Loyalty Oath and refused to serve in the U.S. Army were defined as “No-No’s,” and would be sent to prison. The novel discussed the continuous struggle of Japanese-American community in the racially alienated American society during that time period

Descriptive praise also comments on what the child has done wrong. Although this may appear to decrease a child’s self-esteem and confidence, in reality it allows them to reflect upon their mistakes, pushing themselves further in order to be appreciated. Without recognition a child feels the need to work towards the incomplete task in order to receive praise, encouraging themselves eventually increasing self-confidence after being praised. Gradually children will become aware of the expectations that are expected of them, comprehending that they have the ability to achieve great heights when they are determined. This motivation allows children to approach situations in the future with a positive attitude as they will take on any task with the mindset to complete it to the best of their ability allowing for success. Certain words of encouragement such as “you're not complaining about the food” or “you tasted the peas. That was brave” can influence a child’s behavior positively. This form of communication is not only a way for parents to motivate them, but also a way for them to realize on their own the various expectations parents have for children; thus better understanding their view on situations. As children are constantly praised for the same things they feel the need to go above and beyond what is expected of them portraying to both themselves and parents that they are aware of expectations. Once children are aware of

Grant Penrod, a former student of Arizona State University, writes a piece about how the smart kids get ostracized called Anti-Intellectualism: Why We Hate the Smart Kids. There are smart kids on every school across the nation. These kids are usually not athletic or popular, but some are. Penrod wrote about the non-athletic and non-popular smart kids. These “nerds” are being looked at negatively. They are getting unpopular stereotypes. It isn’t cool to be smart anymore. It’s looked at as if you don’t need to be smart to be successful. People are more worried about the money then the philosophies you learn and develop while you are in school. Penrod says, “The image of intellectualism is disliked as anti-social, and the harms of even a fallacious

Praise given needs to be uplifting and confidence boosting because the child will be more motivated to try harder and do better.In the article “Motivating children” by Leah Davis explains, “Provide a caring, supportive environment where children are respected and feel a sense of belonging”(Leah Davis). The author is trying to say that parents praise should make the child feel good about themselves. When a child feels encouraged then they will be motivated to do better. Praise needs to make a child want to do better and grow from mistakes. Other people think that the more praise the better. They think it is better to give more praise because it makes the parent feel good about them selve and the child will be motivated. In the paragraph Help Kids Feel Good About Themselves states, “Kids who feel good about themselves are less likely to be pressured into doing things they don’t want to do”(Diane Ryles). Kids need to feel good about themselves in order to do well and work hard. Children need to be motivated so when they get to the top they continue to work just as hard. Parents need to make themselves make sense so the child will understand. Another way of thinking about this is that kids need to be given a good mindset. Some people think that kids need to have a good mindset to improve at anything. When a child has a growth mindset they are more likely to

Although praise is one of many forms of positive reinforcement, it is by no means the only or even the best choice when working with young children. Educators often use praise interchangeably with positive reinforcement when indeed an important distinction must be made between the two (Strain & Joseph, 2004). Consistency is very important when interacting with a child. One must stick to the rules once they’ve been made, and don't allow the child to do something one day and then not let them do it the next. Don't confuse a child with unimportant decisions, and remember that it's often necessary to tell a child something more than one time. Speak clearly, and make sure that what you've said is understood. Above all, always maintain a positive attitude, because it's a sure bet that they will be imitating you.

I agree the more you praise the individual the closer they are to praising themselves. When people feel good about themselves and the work they perform, it makes them want to do better. I could be categorized as one of those people. My performance reviews have always been happy times for me. After going over my review, I find myself on a high for weeks. My boss will then critique me on something that was not done right and I go into “I don’t care” mode. I get defensive and my attitude reflects in my work. It takes longer for me to accomplish that task and I do not put as much effort into it as when I am feeling good. Giving praise gets people in the routine of praising themselves. I have a habit of patting myself on the back when I feel I have done a good job or figured out a solution to a problem that