How Sexuality Is Too Much?

In our reading of Leslie Bell’s “Hard to get: Twenty – Something Women and The Paradox of Sexual Freedom” she often refers to “conflicting” messages giving by society. These messages tell young women how they should live and express their sexual freedom during their ‘prime’ years. Messages given by society about sexual freedom are contradicting which cause women to feel anxious and confused on how to express themselves in relationships. In between all this confusion men have taken advantage of these vulnerable women who are trying exercise their sexual freedom.

The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women is a book by Jessica Valenti which contains research that shows that there is a prevalent false notion promoted within the United States that a woman's worth is dictated by whether or not she is sexually active. She argues that the country’s intense focus on chastity is damaging to young women and claims that girls remain virgins until they are married. She accomplishes this by putting into context the historical question of purity, modern abstinence-only education, pornography, and public punishments for those who dare to have sex. The Purity Myth presents a revolutionary argument that girls and women are overly valued for their sexuality, as well as solutions

In Quindlen’s essay she talks about when she was sitting in a clinic in the poorest neighborhood in New York City. She sat with a group of young teenagers who amazed her with their knowledge of sexuality. Quindlen talks about someone mentioning the thought that sex education in school would lower or prevent teen pregnancy, but students will do whatever they want to do. Even though it is good to teach young teenagers about sex and possible risk of the act, it could create confusion in students, wondering the class is teaching them about contraceptives or abstinence. The essay explains how half dozen young teenage girls show off that they are having sex, getting pregnant, and having babies.

For centuries, society has placed a remarkably large emphasis on protecting the young from the many perceived errors of growing up. Effective sex education is resisted in many locations across the country in favor of somewhat comical biblical suggestions for abstinence until marriage even while the majority of those targeted teens are viewing the world as a more and more sexual place. So many views are weaving in and out of teenagers' newly formed adolescent minds that any effective argument for responsible attitudes or analysis of sexual behavior in teens should be expressed with a certain minimal degree of clarity. Unfortunately, this essential lucidity of advice is missing in the short story “Where are You Going, Where Have You Been,”

I was reminded of modern day double standards when Collins pointed out the sexual ambitions of both non married men and women. “Girls were supposed to remain chaste until marriage while boys were allowed to press for whatever sex they could get” (Collins 151). I think that this quote strongly represents how women are seen today. You always hear that if you do not want to be sexual you are prude, but if you do anything sexual you are a slut. That double standard just never seems to go the same way with men. When men do anything sexual, you get hit with the boys will be boys mentality. I can not stand that boys will be boys saying and it seems that it is becoming more frequent with an increase in sexuality in our generation. It is sad to me that the sexuality of men and women are seen so differently when there is absolutely no difference.

For example, Black girls are considered more deviant because of the amount of liberation they possess. In order for girls to make moral decisions about their sexualities, they need to be taught how to control themselves. Once again, this notion that a girl/woman’s body needs to be policed for the sake of society, as if they are the only ones in the wrongdoing. If a girl is sexually active, especially those with more than one partner, she is viewed as possessing delinquent behavior that needs to be fixed. Therefore, it is no surprise that girls are proportionally more likely to be admitted to training schools or group homes, whereas boys are more likely to receive day treatment (Chesney-Lind and Sheldon 171). Boys are apparently ‘active agents’ of change in their lives, compared to girls who are seen as ‘perpetual victim’ who is pathologized for her ‘badness,’ who lacks agency for change, and who will always experience (and need) external control over her life (Paso 824). This is simply the reflection of the roles played out in larger society where a man can have sex whenever, wherever, and as many times as he wants, because men can control their sexuality; while women are ridiculed for even acknowledging their sexuality. Yet, between 60% and 99% of rapes and sexual assault are perpetrated by men onto women, children, other men, and transgender people (The Order

Similarly, the need of sexual activities is also inevitable no matter the gender. Leslie Bell discusses that women who around their twenty are tangled about expressing their needs of sex because the cognitive associations force them to think in one way, which is that women should save for their “first time” for the future husband. Because saving their virginities values a sprit that women know how to protect themselves and are not submitted to sexual intercourse, which potentially represent women’s stereotypes that women should not express and require the satisfaction of their biological sexual

Humans now have a very different life compared to the past since freedom, opportunities, and information together are playing a vital role in this modern society. Especially young people, they become more independent and are capable of living their lives. However, while society provides people a lot of benefits, it makes their lives even more complex at the same time by leaving them pressured and confused about who they really are. In her essay, “Selections from Hard to Get:Twenty-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom,” Leslie Bell mentions that in this new-in between developmental period American twenty-something women have more freedom and opportunities to their sexual lives than previous generations. But they are struggling with the paradoxes of their relationships and desires at the same time. Bell suggests that social expectations and cultural guidelines, which are conventions of female sexuality and stereotypes of being a good girl, prevent these young women from pursuing their sexual desires and limiting their relationships with men. However, even these women have chosen the way they live, and what kind of sexual life they want to be bad girls to break those old rules, they ended with losing their identities. As a result, establishing a women’s identity rather than clinging to contradictory directives and social expectations impacts female sexuality more. When these twenty-something women try to split

Girls feel the need to fit a mold that is presented to them, at the expense of their body and peace of mind. This could be due to psychological issues and Joan Jacobs Brumberg, author of, “Girl Advocacy Again,” claims that this is a complicated point in history for women. They are maturing at a younger age and in a culture where entertainment, media, and peers influence their sexual choices more than their own family (67). Minot’s story gives a firsthand view of what it is like to be an adolescent girl that appearingly has had little sexual guidance, much like the girls Brumberg analyzes (88).

Virginity isn't exactly a dinner table conversation in most households. Many parents see "the talk" as a way to share with their children the ins and outs of their bodies and the ways they will change during puberty. However, many parents hide these talks with a shroud of fear, claiming only that sex is bad and that waiting until marriage is the only option. Enforced with religion, these statements are not all untrue, but the lack of any further discussion beyond abstinence is where problems arise. Consequently, children taught only abstinence seem to grow up with a constant negative perception of sex and fear of failure. Jane Villanueva, a character in the CW's "Jane the Virgin," feels these abstinence pressures throughout her life that seem

Human sexuality is defined as the capability of individuals to experience their sexuality and be able to express themselves as sexual beings (Hyde & DeLameck, 2006). Our interest in this topic is because with time, there has been a change in rules that control human sexual behaviour. The status quo in our contemporary society is much different as compared to an earlier state of conditions, and the change has, as a result, brought the evolvement in human sexuality. People 's view on virginity has changed greatly with a decrease of importance in regards to its preservation. Sexuality is essential to the economic, cultural, social and political organization of society or country. Our sexuality plays a fundamental role in all our lives regardless of age, sex or race. It forms a basic part of our personality and the decisions we make in what we do. One’s sexuality also consumes much of their time through behaviour or thoughts; at times every aspect of our lives seems to revolve around our sexuality. Studying sexuality is very important since human sexuality majorly contributes to social as well as personal problems. A lingering question concerning this topic is to what extent is virginity determined by the status quo and the rules that control human behaviour?

Throughout history, definitions of sexuality within a culture are created and then changed time after time. During these changes, we have seen the impact and power one individual or group can have over others. In the Late Nineteenth Century into the Early Twentieth Century, we see multiple groups of people and or authorities taking control over the idea of sex and how they believe society is being impacted by sex. At this point in time, society had groups of people who believed they had the power to control how society as whole viewed and acted upon sex. Those particular groups and ideas changed many lives and the overall definition of sexuality within that culture.

It is viewed as simply teen drama, “girls being girls” and “boys being boys.” Throughout the fifty-four cases Miller interviewed they all recalled multiple occasions in high school where they witnessed sexual drama, most of the cases spoke of these cases with disgust and discomfort. One of Miller's case mentioned in her high school girls were better off building rumors about others sexuality to prevent rumors being built on them (2016). It’s ironic how teen sexuality has lead teens to the mindset that they have to talk down on others. This builds violence within high school students and causes subconsciousness and low self-esteem. Also, some cases mentioned finding amusement in the discomfort of others. On the other hand, one of Miller’s case’s perspective on sexual drama was, you’d rather be shamed for your sexual orientations rather than the amount of people you’ve slept with (2016). How could one be better than the other? They both have a negative connotation. Why is it normalized for high school teenagers to provoke so much sexual drama? In Miller’s study (2016) she found that even faculty in high schools tend to speak very negatively about sexuality. Though many high schools carry sex ed, almost no schools actually teach teens about the variety of ways through safe sex. “Just don’t have sex and you’ll be fine” is the typical phrase teens are told. World wide we all have a different perspective on sexuality, Miller was able to gather a very diverse sample size including a variety of race, class and social status. She was able to analyze the different perspectives towards sexual drama and determine how common it is

The subject of virginity in the United States has changed immensely throughout the years. With the emerge of new social aspects such as feminism and gay rights movements, the value of the term has altered meanings. (Carpenter, 2002) Numerous studies were conducted in the 1970s and 1980s on sexuality. The results indicated that “young women, while more permissive than in previous decades, continued to value virginity,

Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein portrays teenage sexuality as anything but light-hearted. While the title would lead a person to believe that the book is all about girls’ sexuality, it is not. Sexuality among todays teen seems to be more focused on boys than girls. Today’s teenage culture is what is known as a “hook-up” culture. This hook-up culture seems to be driving teenagers into impersonal relationships consisting of various sexual acts. This book is a must read for educators, mothers, fathers, Aunts, Uncles, and so on, but be forewarned, the information that girls have shared with the author as she interviewed more than seventy young women between the ages of fifteen and twenty (Orenstein, P., 2016), can be alarming to anyone who is not yet aware of this culture.