'How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others And Start Thriving'

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural, healthy way to gauge how we are doing in life. However, when we compare our everyday-lives to others only-positive-lives, it becomes unhealthy. As we go on social media, we need to remember to look at everything through a filter because people aren't quite as perfect as they seem. “I later discovered that the classmate who I thought landed a job at NPR was really just an intern. And Payton discovered her friend who landed a killer job after college only did so because her dad had a connection on staff”(Friedlander). I love taking pictures, so consequently I follow a lot of photographers on instagram. There is this one guy who always takes magnificent photos almost everyday and it's hard not to compare yourself to that. Just this last week he shared a photo where he missed this small, but impactful, setting and it ruined his picture with a great sunrise. I think that picture was one of my favorites because it reminded me that he isn't perfect, and in fact has difficulties like I do. Everyone can get in this rut of always comparing yourself to others. While the constant comparisons we are forced to endure through social media aren't a huge deal for some, they can be the pushing or breaking point for someone already struggling with mild depression. Social media is only a part of the now very modernized world we live

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) offers infinite connections and the ability to express oneself to the world. But are these connections and images of self-based upon fact or fiction? Through selective self-presentation, people often present the “ideal self” instead of the “actual self” in the online environment to achieve the feeling of positive self-esteem. In “The Way We Live Now: I Tweet, Therefore I Am”, Peggy Orenstein writes of how her Twitter posts reflected an idealized version of her life. Two studies support the hypothesis that such editing can have a positive effect on personal self-esteem. “Mirror, Mirror on my Facebook Wall: Effects of Exposure to Facebook on Self-Esteem” by Amy Gonzales presents a study demonstrating

Social media is addictive. Tweet - #Addicted. Facebook – Like my selfie. Snapchat – Snap me. I found myself on a painful and destructible path that consumed my life, without realising that I too was playing that game of seeking external validation through social media. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and realised - We should start living in the real world. We should banish living in virtual reality and become interactive with people again.

According to the wellbeing assessment results, the assessment indicated that I am struggling (moderate or inconsistent) with my wellbeing as the five elements showed all my scores under 6. I received a score of 5 on career wellbeing, a score of 6 on social wellbeing, a score of 3 on financial wellbeing, a score of 4 on physical wellbeing, and score of 3 on community wellbeing. I was honestly shocked and surprised when I read through the descriptions of the results because it accurately depicted where I am with my wellbeing at this point in my life.

Abrams focused on the damage social media can cause on our mental health. One study that she pointed to is by the UK Disability Charity Scope. They found that of 1500 Facebook and Twitter users “62 percent [of users] reported feeling inadequate and 60 percent reported feelings of jealousy from comparing themselves to other users” (Abrams). Another study that she also points to is one by researchers at the University of

He puts it best by using the example of the tourist who has waited his whole life to see the canyon. Once he gets there, he is only comparing what he sees in front of him with what he has seen in other places like postcards and pictures. He says that we do not appreciate the sheer vastness or the enormity of what has been laid in front of us but instead spend our time taking pictures and judging our experiences by how many shots we take. Daily, I fight a battle with social media. The most prominent example is not getting wrapped up in taking pictures and up loading them for others to see and “Like”. I make a conscious effort to make sure my life does not consist of getting validation from others about my thoughts or my actions. There is a fine line between sharing and sharing for authentication. This causes people to give others the ability to assign value to a person’s experiences.

A study at Stanford University shows that people tend to “underestimate how many negative experiences their peers are having” and “overestimate how much fun those same peers are having” (592). Social Media lets people decide what they want their life to look like and how they want to portray themselves to others. The platforms allow one to put together bits and pieces of ones life in order to create a puzzle of optimism to hide the sadness they don’t want to show the world. “The site’s very design- the presence of a ‘Like’ button, without a corresponding ‘hate button’- reinforces a kind of upbeat spin doctoring” (592). Copeland says that even the design of the social media platforms encourages putting a positive spin on things that aren’t so attractive to the people on the other side of the computer. “The human habit of overestimating other peoples happiness is nothing new, of course” (591). While people will always look at others and see their happiness, and never their pain, Social networking gives a bigger platform for people to do so. In an everyday conversation at the grocery store, people tend to focus on the positive. It is no different on Facebook, other than the positive spin is done in larger

Clarissa Silva article in the Huffington Post delves into social media’s impact on self-esteem. As a behavioral scientist, her interest in the matter relates to her field. She also gets the help of other experts Dr. Jennifer Rhodes, Natalia Lusinski, and Dr. Suzana Flores to help with her research. Silva states that “social media is linked to higher levels of loneliness, envy, anxiety, depression, narcissism and decreased social skills" (1). Then outlines her research findings using rhetorical appeals.

Living in a world where social media is highly incorporated into our daily lives is associated with being detached from the things that matter, such as family, friends, and even human relationships in general. In 2016, Cal Newport pointed out in his article, “Quit Social Media. Your Career May Depend On It”, from The New York Times, that people are now beginning to believe that social media may even take a toll on their career. On the contrary, I find it ironic that people claim to be victimized by social media when they are giving it authority over them and their lives by assuming they cannot stay in control of how they spend their time. If common people allow social media to take up valuable work time, then they are one of two things; careless of their job, or they feel as though they are not in charge of their life. I believe that social media cannot hurt a career unless the person using it gives it the power to do so. On the other hand, Newport believes that social media can “hurt your career” by making someone counterproductive.

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."(Alexa) The more you compare yourself to others, the more you will be negatively effected. An experiment conducted by Science Direct measured womens moods after browsing through social media for ten minutes. The scientists found social media use can put women in a more negative mood where they make more appearance comparisons, making them want to change their face, hair and skin. "According

Communication barriers are not the only issue that has been brought on by social media. Extensive social media use has also been known to affect a person’s self-esteem. Some individuals suffer from a low self-esteem and limit themselves to social media in hopes to create a different image of them. According to Charles Cooley, “The thing that moves us to pride or shame is not the mere mechanical reflection of ourselves, but an imputed sentiment, the imagined effect of this reflection upon another's mind" (Morine, 2009). For some teens and young adults, social media may help them open up and achieve a higher self-esteem. On the other hand, social media on other teens and young adults may have a completely opposite effect. In an article titled, Is Facebook Making Your Child Depressed, it is stated that social media websites such as Facebook “can create a skewed reality that makes teens feel alienated” (PR, 2012). When a person, that is not completely happy with their life, goes onto social media and reads all about other people enjoying a multitude of activities and enjoying their lives this could

In order to understand the effect that social media has on self-esteem, we need to understand the construct of self-esteem. According to Coopersmith’s definition, self-esteem is “the evaluation which the individual makes and customarily maintains with regard to himself: it expresses an attitude of approval and indicates the extent to which an individual believes himself to be capable, significant, successful and worthy. In short, self-esteem is a personal judgment of the worthiness that is expressed in the attitudes the individual holds towards himself.” (p. 4–5) To put it more simply, self-esteem is the attitude that people have toward their own values.

One-way social media can be harmful to our mental health is that it often can lead to comparison and jealousy. An example of jealousy when using social media would be a group of friends who decided to hang out and left one friend out; the group of friends post about how much fun they had and the girl who was left alone ultimately ends up jealous. An example of comparison would be an overweight or an average sized girl scrolling through her Instagram timeline when she sees a picture of a super skinny girl, this could lead to the girl scrolling to compare herself negatively to the skinny girl. Comparison is a normal human response; most people compare themselves to others daily (Tanney). Most

Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube are web-based activities that provide individuals access to build a public or a semi-public profile within a confined system, connect and find users that they share a connection with as well as view and navigate the list of connections that are made by other participants of the systems (Boyd & Ellison, 2007). Social media is widely used by young adults contributing to about 84% of the total usage (Smith, 2011). Some of the popular reasons for widespread use of social media are staying in touch with near and dear ones especially with friends and family, making new friends, following famous politicians and celebrities and also in search of potential relationships (Smith, 2011). However as the use of social media becomes more widespread, we cannot help but express concerns over the effects that social media usage may have on our behavior. Over the past couple of decades, research has strongly linked social media usage with negative behavioral outcomes and is known to affect one’s overall well-being. This essay will begin by discussing some of the behavioral issues that result from social media usage, followed by criticisms of this argument. The recommendation will then highlight some ways by which the behavioural problems could be dealt with, acknowledging that self-monitoring and self-regulation are the main ways to tackle the issue.

Depression is another psychological toll that has been placed on young adults as an outcome of social media use. In fact “over a third (34%) of young people have felt depressed because of something they have seen on a social network site” [6]. Young people experience depression while looking at their peers’ social media profiles because of “the link between social networking and depression [which] is called the ‘social comparison’ theory” [5]. The social comparison theory asserts that individuals evaluate themselves by comparing themselves to their peers, using their peers as a benchmark to evaluate their own self worth [1]. These comparisons can be misleading when young adults look at their peers’ social networking profiles. One person may have 50 Facebook friends whom they personally know while their peer may have over 1,000 Facebook friends whom they randomly accept and request. When using the social comparison theory the peer with