Humorous Wedding Monologue

Chad my Mom and I walk into are house and it was destroyed. Even my mickey mouse was chewed to bits, and in the middle of it all was our gold lab Krammer. Krammer was left outside during hurricane katrina, he was found wandering the streets. My Dad thought it would be a great idea to find a friend for our other dog summer, and he came home with the craziest dog ever. Krammer had extreme separation anxiety after being left during Katrina, so whenever we would leave he would chew out of his metal cage and chew stuff up and use the bathroom everywhere. But one day my dad decided to tie up his cage so he couldn't come out. He started freaking out after we left and he pooped and peed blood. When we got home they took him to the vet and they found out he had some illness and had to be put down that dreaded day.

I would first like to sincerely apologize for my extremely follow up with you. After the PACE event I started a new job with Kaplan's Test Prep center here in Orlando which consisted of a 3 week training process with a schedule of 9:00am-6:00pm Monday-Friday. I just become so busy with that, a full course of school (2 nights class Tuesdays and Wednesdays 6:00pm-8:50pm), and as you know, LSAT studying. I am not going to lie, these couple weeks have difficult to say the less. There was a lot of sleepless nights.

Attention everybody! I would like to propose a toast to the bride and groom – Sydney and Adrian. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Sydney’s younger sister. I am honored to be given an opportunity to speak at here at this wedding. I would like to thank everyone who came to give their best wishes to Mr. and Ms. Belkov. I would also like to point out how beautiful Sydney looks today, which I’m sure you all agree with. I am so happy that Sydney has finally the love of her live. Her spouse, her partner, her better half. There is no other couple well suited for each other than Sydney and Adrian.

Our dog was a yellow lab and very energetic. She would sleep in the living room, but once she heard a car pull in and saw my Grandma come out of that car she jumped in the window and ran around and couldn’t wait till she came in. Her excitement was only half of what I had when she would show up. Each year we spend every holiday together and the one I find the most pleasurable and can never forget is our tradition we have for Christmas. She would come on Christmas Eve and have dinner and we would have a grand night and she would stay over and the next morning we would all wake up early and have a wonderful Christmas day together. As kids my brother and I would go to the backyard and race and she was always the one there cheering for each of us to win, although one was always the loser. She played a fantastic role in my childhood and an even spectacular one as I’ve grown into the young adult I am today.

My first dog was named Toby, he was a very white, ball of fluff. He blended in with the shiny white crispy snow on December 25, 2006. My sisters and I were on our way home from my dad’s house when all of a sudden we pulled into my mom’s house. On Sunday, December 25, 2006, Toby was waiting at our house. We all got out of the car on that cold snowy day and walked on the slippery sidewalk. The snow was like a chilling carpet on the bottoms of our feet. My mom opened the door with a camera so my sisters and I knew something was up. A shocking step in the house and we saw a very fluffy dog, we were very excited. He was like a deer in headlights. There was a bunch of screaming and yelling going on at that moment between the three of us. We

One of the questions I asked him was “When growing up, what was your first pet you ever encountered?”My dad’s reply was highly entertaining. He explained his story of his first pet. My dad started out with a brown and white hamster named Felix. His brother had a twin hamster named Frances. Soon, the hamsters both escaped, so my dad got a new hampster which he named Kinnikinnick. That hamster also escaped, so my dad got a third hamster called Kinnikinnick 2. Upon hearing this, I bursted out laughing, I couldn’t believe the names that my dad gave them as a child. My father laughed with me as he continued his story. My dad said that the first family pet was a Siberian Husky named Chinook

I got my very first animal in September of 2009. It was a dog and we named him Buddy. I walking into shelter trying to find the right dog to bring home. I was so excited to get my first dog! Thinking which one is going to be the one. When we walked in all we could here was barking. Walking by cages of cute puppies, then we found just the right one, Buddy!

And on our way home, she almost peed in the backseat of the car because she was so scared. However, when we finally got home, she was overjoyed that she finally had a good home where she would be loved forever. Not only by six humans, but by three other animals including, two cats and one other dog named bella, tiger, my two cats, and libby, the other dog. She had to go right into the backyard because we were worried about how she would act around the other animals. But when she smelled Libby’s breath on the toys she busted through the screen door and she licked all of the animals until they looked like they swam in a pool.

She was a lot of fun to play with and she was very energetic. We did not get her that day, but the employees told us that the dog we were interested in was going to be at Petsmart the next day. We went to Petsmart and we were going to make the final decision if we were going to get her. My sister and I really wanted her but my dad was hesitant about the idea of getting her. He did not know if we were ready for another dog. My sister and I really wanted her so we exclaimed “ we will do everything to take care of the dog!”

I remember the weekend we first got Jenna like it was yesterday. I had been begging for a dog for a million years and my mom finally let me get one. Don’t tell Jenna this, but she wasn’t my first pick for a dog. Actually, I never even thought I’d get her.

The Breeder meets us and says to my mom “well ya’ll puppy dawg is right through ear.” As soon a she opened her mouth I was questioning getting our dog from here. We follow her into the dog house that’s where all of the different breeds of dogs are and end up all the way at the end. She hands us the puppy. He was a Tricolored cocker spaniel and had big front paws and the cutest little eye brows that I fell In love with. She gives it to my mom first and then my mom gives him to me. Finally I got my dog and he was so cute and so soft. Now we need a name.

Legacy: I would like to thank all of my family, friends, teachers, and coaches who have supported me throughout high school. I would like to Kip and Julie Johnson, my parents. Thank you for everything that you have done for me. No matter how hard I was on you guys, you never gave up on me. You always knew that I could do better and constantly encouraged me to do so. I would also like to say a special thanks to my girlfriend Bekka. You have always been there for me since the 9th grade when we started dating. You always helped me with any of my work that I had sturggled with. I appreciate you always telling me that I could do better, even though I was lazy. Thank you for always supporting me, love. I would next like to thank all my friends: Tyler, Hugo, Ed, Casey, Tristan, James,

Thank you all for coming and joining us here today. My wife, Louise Mallard, was a young, frail, and timid woman who was afflicted with heart trouble. Our marriage was not out of the ordinary, for I knew we both adored each other a great deal. Even though she is no longer with us I will continue to care for her memory as I cared for her throughout our marriage. Louise wasn’t just a devoted wife to me but a sister to Josephine and their relationship was very close indeed. In these hard times, Josephine has been a blessing to me. Josephine was there for Louise in the good times and the bad. I am sure Josephine will always treasure the memories of her sister close to her heart. Louise Mallard has left her memories to be treasured by her family

On May 23rd, Dave Payne, Greg Rodgers, and I went to check on the Trailers at OCS.

On my 17th birthday, I walked into my bedroom to see a snow white puppy with brown spots. He was in the middle of the floor laying on a furry, green pet pillow. A 4 month old pekingese that I named Baizil. He was afraid at first and only came out of the room for food, and to use the bathroom. Baizil was the sweetest ,laziest, most overprotective dog I had ever seen.