Essay about Humorous Wedding Roast by a Childhood Friend

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Humorous Wedding Speech by a Childhood Friend

Wouldn’t you know it, this is the first time Steve has ever bought me dinner and I was too nervous to eat it.

Ladies and gentlemen, before I start, I've been asked to make a couple of announcements. Firstly, the hotel manager has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you are to get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation. And secondly - following the speeches, Steve's brother, Richard, will be singing us that lovely old standard, ‘I'm dancing tonight with tears in my eyes, cos the girl in my arms is a boy’. But first, it's time for me to make a speech and, at the same time, probably a complete ass of myself.

It's traditional for
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The cub hut was on a bit of hill, so we set about rolling the tyre and running behind it. Unfortunately, the tyre picked up a bit of speed, and so much so that it was soon doing about 30 mph down the hill, bouncing higher and higher, faster and faster. And it was heading straight for one of the houses at the bottom of Cherry Grove, where it bounced once in the front garden and then went straight through a downstairs window. And being good, honest cubs, and firm adherents to the cub code, we all ran and hid.

Steve has always been very keen on sporting activities, and not just terrorising the local community with high-velocity tyres. But we sometimes do wonder where he gets the energy, because most weekends during his single life were spent lying horizontal asleep on somebody's sofa. This seems to stem back to his childhood where he had the ability to fall asleep anywhere and at any time - which led to his parents nicknaming him 'Noddy', but that's a secret.

But when he wasn't playing sports, Steve and I, like many other teenagers, spent most of our time in McDonald's. It was here we would discuss for hours what careers we thought we might end up in, and who would be the first likely to marry. But mainly we talked about why neither of us could pull any girls.

We've both
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