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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom Essay

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Humorous Wedding Roast by a Friend of the Groom

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – I'd like to start by saying that what a genuine honor it is to be part of Norman's wedding. I appreciate that I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could well have chosen. But I know he looks upon me as the older brother he never had, and I look on him as the younger brother I never wanted.

So here I stand with this great opportunity to reveal to all, Norman’s past misdemeanors. So I could trot out the usual stories; like when he woke up in a football field wearing a red thong and swimming goggles. But instead, I’ve decided to use this time to talk of Norman’s achievements, so you needn’t worry, we’re almost at the end of the …show more content…

And Janet, you’ve found Norman Hamner. Whoever said marriages had to start out balanced!

Norman’s second greatest achievement also happened today, and that was keeping his suit jacket on throughout the ceremony and resisting what must have been an intense desire to turn up in shorts today. But despite the heat and discomfort, it’s been well worth the effort, amongst other things, he’s been boasting all afternoon that he now knows how Chewbacker felt filming those desert scenes.

As it was quite challenging coming up with a third achievement I thought of getting some visual help by asking his father Raymond if he had any cute pictures of Norman when he young. I got a puzzled look and this confused reply; ‘Pictures yes, cute no!’

But he did tell me that as a child, Norman is fondly remembered for always asking question after question. And this morning, a little of that child returned to him, as when I passed the bathroom door I overheard him saying, 'Why me, Lord? Why me?'

I also new Norman when he was little and I lost count of the number of times a grown-up remarked, ‘He’ll go far, that Norman.’ Secretly jealous, I used to laugh to myself that the furthest place Norman would go was to the hairdressers round the corner – even that proved unlikely for a while. But adolescent rivalry aside, I can see that the adults were right and Norman has indeed done very well for himself. There’s the great career, his success on the

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