Humorous Wedding Speech By Steve Jobs

Ladies, Gentlemen good morning to you all. I am here today to speak to you on behalf of tennis Australia and in essence the rest of the globe in terms of Tennis. My question to you is, why are women denied the chance to perform and exhibit there elite talents their ultimate mettle in 5 sets of tennis like the men’s game. Why fans are denied the pleasure of seeing this is to be questioned? Why aren’t women able to play 5 sets?

Steve Jobs, in his commencement speech at Stanford (2005) argues that to have a happy life, you need to find what you love. He supports this point by first talking of his adoption, then telling about his college experience and finally talking about death. His purpose is to inspire the students to do what they love in order to live a happy life. His audience is Stanford graduate and he wants them to think he is below their level.

John Locke on the phone: Good morning, Karl. How are you? I hope all is well.

Good evening Melesia, Sorry it took me so long to get back with you. I had my mother over for the day. The opinion that I am going to give you is just what I would do. Please don't do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Well here's what I think.

Kane, I’m currently sitting in my room thinking about how great these two weeks with you were. Thank you so much for all the memories and fun times. I will always hold them very close to me. My god, it has only been a couple hours since you left and I already miss you so much. You have made me immensely happy, I cannot express that enough. I only hope to make you as happy as you make me. I know we are both still young, but no matter what happens or where life takes us, I know for a fact that I will always love you. You have taught me so much and I will forever be grateful for that.

Good Morning Laurie! Hope you had a lovely Friday evening. Thank you for your message, I was happy to receive it.

Good Morning Haley aka Stephanie. I'm so grateful you've been my friend. I feel so comfortable around you and feel like I can talk to you aboit anything whether it's aliens saying aye lmao or your thoughts on religion. It just feels easy and comfortable. I know out friendship hasn't always been normal especially since I liked you in 8th grade which probably made it awkward and then we didn't talk for a while but anyways thanks for sticking with me and dealing with all my shit. I know I can be annoying and mean sometimes and I'm sorry you. You deserve a better friend but thanks for sticking with me anyways. Also stop being so hard on yourself, you always say that you'll never get a boyfriend or no one finds you attractive and it's just silly

Hi everyone! I’m Emma Keaschall, Kala’s sister and I just want to say thank you to everyone for coming out today! It’s such a pleasure to be able to celebrate this special day with all of Kala and Doug’s friends and family.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation… oops, wrong speech. *pulls out large stack of papers* Ahh… here it is.*clear throat* Hello, I am Naomi Lee, friend and Sister to the lovely bride who about half of us came here to see. I love her, enough to forgive her for no longer sharing a last name with me. But, that is besides the point, because me and the new Mrs.Granger have a lot of stories, which I had to pick through. Some would say it is easy, but if you had her as a sister, well, you know to leave out the embarrassing ones.

Mr. M: Good Morning Mr. Bill Gates! Welcome to my humble studio. It’s an honor having you with us, and before we begin I must thank you on behalf of my entire team for taking out some time for us!

Good morning Carole, Morning is a wonderful blessing, either sunny or stormy. It stands for hope, giving us another start of what we call Life. I am glad hearing from you in this new Life. How was your night?

9 years ago today I met Tara Pate Schlegel. Along the way we have laughed, and we have cried, we have cuddled and we have struggled, but our love for eachother has never strayed. We are living proof that oposits attract ! Together we make eachother stronger, and I look forword to our road ahead. Thank you, and I love

Good morning Kassie, I am beyond grateful for the offer that I was given yesterday and cannot thank you enough for the opportunity. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself throughout this process and I appreciate the hospitality given by all that were involved. I enjoyed getting to know Dr. Miller and his wife Teri who both are committed to excellence in their business. I thought it was great that I was given the opportunity to experience what the work environment is like at Total Health.

Should your life be ruled by money and an innumerable amount of expectations? or should you seek out your sole purpose and what will truly make you happy? In Steve Jobs 2005 Commencement Address he continually states his strong opinion on the fact that everyone is going to die one day, no matter who you are, no matter how much money you have everyone will in fact perish. When you die you want to leave behind not only a legacy, but know that every day of your life you got up in the morning and did what you loved to do. This is the true purpose of our lives. To live and fight for what it is we love. We must search for our passion in life. We must find what we love.

Hello Mami, How are you doing so far today? I sure believe you are doing very well and is the weather friendly out there in Lekki Lagos?