Humorous Wedding Speech: How My Life Changed

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Frank on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got closer and heard them saying, 'You!', 'no, you!'

I wanted to say thank you for all the family has done for me and that you might never see me again and that i'm willing to die for what's right and for my country i am now going to tell you how me experience was in the union.It started when i got to my regiement it was called 1st michigan infantry once i got there i had met some friends one of them was from irland he was really intresting he just died in the battle before.It Day 12 the food is getting really boring and plain the pork is getting moldy from the week before the coffe is extremly bitter I can here people talking about robert e lee and how there going to destroy us yea right i chuckled really hard well thats all for today.Day14 the night before we heard gun shots and cannons so we got up with our guns and rifles ready tofight for our lives but it was some kids just goofing off with our stuff we told to them to leave and never come back day 17 sorry its been a few days since i wrote i was just in a battle i was shot in the finger this might be suprising while your reading this but i have a very good doctor he just washed his hands im very lucky to be alive

As EMS Chief I will be bringing Kevin in at some point today to discuss the half way point of his “mentoring” process and where we stand. As I stated yesterday the guideline was created to mentor, guide and evaluate every medical provider regardless license level. The way the guideline is written it gives the mentor flexibility and tools to work with to meet the objective with every participant. We all agreed Kevin needs to step up and pursue outside clinical experiences to retain all the skills he learned and provide top notch care at his skill level. I have concerns whether this is too much for the Health Center providers to manage, I do not want to ask more than can be expected. Let me chat with Kevin

On May 23rd, Dave Payne, Greg Rodgers, and I went to check on the Trailers at OCS.

Good afternoon y’all. How are you. So I have never publicly spoke in front of a crowded so hopefully you will bare with me and help me get through this. So i'm going to be talking for a little while and I am going to need you to be quiet for a little while so let's all scream now so you won't talk during my speech. . scream on the count of 3 1-2-3 ahhhhhhh. Alright now that that is out of the way. Now you are probably wondering why I am out here.. Have you ever had something laying heavy on your heart. I have and that lead me to come out and speak to you guys today about multiple things. I feel as us as a student body when speakers come and talk to us about bullying,suicide, rape, abuse, ect. We think that things like that do not happen in

Good afternoon ladies and gents, I am here to give you guys your commencement speech. When I heard that I could do it, I immediately said yes, then I had to go home and do all this research about what a commencement was and how to actually make one. When I did do the research everything popped up in spanish and then I realized my father had changed the settings. But here I am giving it all I got, but besides that I am here today to talk about the future. A subject no one is willing to raise their hand for or even let out a small peep. Usually when the subject about the future is brought up everyone starts crying and starts panicking, well this is for the class of 2016, some of us don’t know where we are going, some of us do but that’s okay,

Good Morning Everyone , . I hope you have had a wonderful week . I have a fantastic Friday announcement . JEAN WEEK - ALL WEEK . yes , I said it . (Thank you Monica !!) Casual jean wears / wore for the ENTIRE WEEK of Sept . 18-Sept . 22 for just $10 . I will send out purple casual about a cause stickers to wear (like the picture below ) for each office . This way our customers will know why we are so comfortable with work hours . Please be sure to wear work appropriate jeans that follows / followed our company policies . If you feel so inclined you can wear purple as well but that is not a requirement . Enjoy your weekend and prepare for a week in your favorite Levi's to help insure an end to Alzheimers in our future . Tina , if you wouldn't

Salam alaikum and good evening, everyone. I would like to thank Brother Naeem Baig and the ICNA National Committee for a phenomenal job organizing this year’s convention honoring the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and for inviting me to speak tonight. I would also like to thank my colleagues at the Arab American Association of New York for their hard work and dedication, which allows me the opportunity to be in attendance at this indispensable conference. I am extremely honored to be here with all of you. It means a lot to me to be back in Baltimore. As some of you may know, last April I participated in the March2Justice, walking on foot with Justice League NYC and friends from across the country from New York City to Washington, D.C. to deliver a "Justice Package" of criminal justice reform legislation that will end racial profiling, demilitarize our police forces, and invest in our communities. Along the way, my fellow marchers and I stopped in this great, and at that time, troubled city and attended Sunday services at the Empowerment Temple and joined Freddie Gray protests at the Western District police station. Those were unforgettable and moving experiences that I will carry with me, always.

Congratulations to all of the line officers, and officers! I know that you will go on to do great things during this term!

If I should have a son, he will refer to me as "Queen," because all women are to be treated like that. And I am going to write every "nice" word on the backs of his hands so he remembers what to say to those girls in his first grade class who are chasing him around the play ground. And he will learn to not even look at his hands to talk to a girl. So the first time he actually start liking a girl in middle school, he will never mess up or say the wrong thing or hurt her. Because his mother taught him those things. Trust me. "And, baby," I'll tell him, I've been your Queen and now she is your Princess. And that little girl will love you for that. She will wonder why you call her that. You just tell her I call you that because that’s the way

Hello. Welcome to the Jeremy and Jamie after party. The after after party is going to be where the real fun is, but, most of you won’t wanna be in the room, and you sick twisted freaks that will….shame on you. Its their wedding, Damn it!!! I am your cordial host as it were, the slightly battered, partially bruised Josh Johnston. It has to do with wasps and tripping out of trucks and....well, never mind. Many of you know me, and for those of you that don't....you won't soon forget....like it or not. In addition to getting the honor and privilege to stand up here with my sister and her beautiful bride...wait....wrong cards....these aren't even MY CARDS!!! Damn dressing room mixups!!! I also am privileged to be the best man. That is a position

it was so lovely to see you. I hope you got to your meeting in time. I forgot to say thank you, for telling me some of how you are feeling, I know squeezed it out of you, and it's not easy for you to talk, but I hope it helped to talk. I will always listen and help if I can, just ask, even it that's just a chat or silent hug (sometimes they are the best) when you are feeling down As long as I can sniff you while I hug you!

Today my team is going to lose its sense of humor and heartbeat. Farewell to the guy who made every day seem like Sunday with his jokes

Ladies and gents, since you're sitting here in this town hall tonight, it means that you want answers but not just answers you want solutions.

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