Humorous Weddings: A Short Story

Mother: “I understand that this party means a lot to you, and I am worried about your safety. Let's get more details about this party--and how your ride there and get back--and check whether we can work something out were both fulfilled with.”

Welcome, everyone. I believe, that as father of the bride, it is my dubious privilege to make the first speech, so, here's one I prepared earlier.

Alma saw everyone was milling about, trying to decide about leaving. Nadine squalled, “My cake, we haven’t served my wedding cake.”

Charlie nodded in understanding. “Of course. In the meantime, however, I’m going to need dinner and beds arranged for my people. The large dining room in the hall would be perfect,” Charlie informed him as he looked over her group with distaste.

I stood up and cut each of my guests a piece and they each were enjoying their cake. That’s when, once again, Queen Marie and Poppy made eye contact, but this time they both stood. I was confused so I waited for them to say

Hello pretty people! :) How are you all? I was very busy last week. There was a wedding at our family friend's house so we had to attend all the functions. You guys probably know about it already since I was updating everything on my Instagram account. :P

“Don’t worry. You’ll love it.” While her voice was light and cheerful there was finality to her words. “Did you get a chance to try the dress on again? It’s so beautiful.”

I hope you had a nice Christmas! I've been wondering how the catering worked out for you guys. It seemed like a pretty damned good idea to me, but as you said, you never know how the food will be.

My fellow classmates, family, friends, and falculty thank you for being here today as we close a chapter of our lives here at Brazos Christian. First and foremost, I would like to give all the glory and honor today to the Lord because without him our high school experience would have been a lot different. There is a particular person that I would like to thank that is going to seem odd and her name is Rebecca Doncov. Many of you are aware of why I am thanking her, but others are not. As a 7th grader, Rebecca decided to bet me that I could not make all A+s in high school, so I did. The consequence of this is that I now have to give a speech in front of all of you. I am not the most eloquent of speakers, nor do I always please people with my opinion, so

We are all gathered today to commemorate my life. Here I am, lying in my coffin, wearing full white dress, and excessive make up to hide how pale I am today. Some may say that I lived a very short life. And that I was a very nice person, but I was not. I was a girl who does a lot of bad things for the one I loved. I was the girl who swears a lot even it was not needed. I was a girl who disobeys my parents just for some guy who did not even deserve it. I was a sinner, and that may be the reason why I died early. Let me talk about my life. My life was indeed short, too short for me to experience pure happiness. I had an exciting life. I learned how to value the people who were in my life. I learned how to accept that not all people will stay.

I woke up to the smell of love on that muggy, August morning. There was absolutely no time to waste on sleeping, so I scrambled around the house reaching for the last of the items I would need for the day. I stumbled to the car in my bright pink tank top and cool green shorts, and we were on our way. My mom and I knew the morning would be unsuccessful without a little sugar, so we made a brief pit stop for my favorite breakfast snack ever: Cini Minis from Burger King! We then proceeded to our work for the day.

Before January ventures off in search for a wife, he decides to speak to his friends and tells him his wishes, he states, “But o thyng warne I yow, my freendes deere/ I wol moon oold wyf han in no manere/ She shal nat passe twenty yeer, certayn/ Oold fissh and yong flessh wolde I have ful fayn,” (lines 1415-18). He bluntly states that he desires a very young wife, no more than twenty, and this is a mistake because he fails to consider that marriage is a huge commitment therefore, it should be based off of love and not desire. This quote indicates how Januarie blindly believes that he can use May’s youth and beauty to his own advantage when in fact, May will eventually uses her age to exploit Januarie in the tale. Furthermore, January embarks

Sol ignored her bitching and returned to the kitchen where Stella confirmed, “Oh! I just heard the good news, Luna has made contact. The wedding invitations have been received!” Sol and Stella stood in the kitchen and giggled for one long

Jack and Jill had a huge wedding planned at a grand location and expected a lot of guest, but with their families bickering over the food to be served and who should sit where as well as the mounting cost of the festivities they decided to elope. After their impromptu nuptials and short honeymoon, they returned to town only to realize they had been so distracted with the wedding plans and their squabbling families that they had not yet found a home. They also discovered their families no longer bickered between themselves but had joined forces and were now contentious with Jack and Jill for eloping. Banished by their families with no place to call home and low on money they had no choice but to take up residence in a tent.

Exact at 7:00 pm he arrives with flower bouquet. Offering to Anny he said, “Lovely flowers for lovely lady”. Anny feeling delightful said “Thank-you”, and Katy on another side felt jealous watching them. Now again as usual Anny and Jack are doing chit-chat and Katy trying her best to get Jack’s attention. After trying a lot Katy gives up on jumping in and tries to divert them by excuse of having dinner. Being very good cook they made a very delicious food for him. After having food and enjoying drinks it was his time to leave. Noticing all now Katy knew Jack likes her sister and not her. It wasn’t too late when she decides to confess her sister Anny. She asked, “Umm- Hey! Anny? Do u like Jack?” blushingly sister replied, “Yeah, isn’t he cute?”