Hurt People Hurted People By Dr. Wilson

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

Forgiveness is not just practiced by saints and not only benefits its recipients but have strong connection with person’s physical, mental and spiritual health. It plays a great role in the health of families, communities and nations. Forgiveness provides common ground for love, acceptance, harmony and true happiness Most spiritual and religious leaders of the world will agree that forgiveness of oneself and others is one way to clear the mind, heart and soul and may result in a feeling of increased peace and happiness.

Sometimes things are better off forgotten so one does not get too caught up in hatred. When the time comes to forgive someone or even oneself, one might find it very hard. The word forgiveness may have different meanings to some people. For example, some people may refer forgiveness as a way to lose weight off their backs. In Into The Wild, Jon Krakauer highlights the importance of forgiving the mistakes one has made, and the actions people around us make. Life’s experiences are not always easy to forget, nevertheless to move on from those experiences

In FYS we were taught many ways to live in the world through the stories we read, speeches we listen to, and the projects we did. In the book, Ordinary Grace, by William Kent Krueger, The Chosen, by Chaim Potok, and Destiny of The Republic, by Candice Millard, I saw a few prominent themes of how one should live. In these three books I learned about the author 's voice through their writings. I saw how one should live their life. In these books the authors shared common themes through their writings. The authors showed how to live life with forgiveness and live life with faith. Krueger and Potok both showed me through their novels how to forgive someone and they did this by showing that there is a bigger picture in

In the book Rediscovering the Power of Repentance and Forgiveness, Dr. Leah Coulter seeks to challenge the conventional Christian approach to forgiveness. Conventional Christianity approaches forgiveness as a Christian duty, and, in many ways, this has been unfair to the victims who have almost been condemned for seeking justice rather than simply forgetting. She asks, "From an all too common Christian view, why must the weight and responsibility of forgiveness be placed on the sinned-against instead of the sinner's repentance?" (Coulter). Therefore, she focuses extensively on the idea of repentance and the duty of the sinner to repent. However, that is not to suggest that Coulter abandons the idea that forgiveness is a Christian imperative, but she attempts to place it within its Jewish context, and demonstrate how other facets of historical Judaism inform the practice of forgiveness and repentance.

Laura Jackson spoke as a guest speaker at Texas A&M University-Commerce (where I am proud to be a student) on September 22nd to discuss the importance of healing from sexual, physical, mental, and psychological abuse. Her life story was horrific, but somehow she survived to tell about it. She addressed different topics such as raising awareness about domestic violence and the importance of a personal relationship with God. I was honored to hear her speak and acquired knowledge from her that I can apply to my life and my surroundings.

Forgiveness is a powerful word, of which has a powerful impact. But what does forgiveness mean? To what does one owe to be forgiven? Forgiveness is a process that oneself must teach to achieve. The book Left to Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza exemplifies forgiveness and gives us as readers a new perspective.

Childhood abuse frequently leads to PTSD and sharply increases the risk for later delinquency and violent criminal behavior. Many studies found a relationship between severe childhood abuse and the propensity to victimize others. If the sufferer does not receive treatment, violent behavior may reoccur.” ( Wave Trust, 2014-15). Doctor Dutton has been quoted numerous times in articles, journals, and books as saying, “Although witnessing parental violence, being shamed and being insecurely attached are each sources of trauma in and of themselves, the combination of the three over prolonged and vulnerable developmental phases constitutes a dramatic and powerful trauma source. The child cannot turn to a secure attachment source for soothing, as none exists, yet the need created by the shaming and exposure to violence triggers enormous emotional and physiological reactions requiring soothing.” (2000, pp.

Forgiveness has been defined in many ways by psychologists and researchers with no one universal definition. Hill (as cited in Maltby, Day and Mackaskill 2001) state that it is widely agreed that forgiveness involves a willingness to abandon resentment, negative judgement and indifferent behaviour towards the person who has hurt them Although research is recent, from the last 15 years, it has helped develop our understanding of forgiveness . Research has shown that forgiveness gives positive mental health and prevents the development of mental disorders such as anxiety, depression and stress. Two major models of forgiveness are Enright’s model and Worthington’s (2001) pyramid model to REACH forgiveness. Both these models involve steps and

In this paper, the student-writer will discuss the methods that are taught in Hurt People Hurt People by Dr. Sandra Wilson (2001). The student-writer will compare and contrast the skills that are mentioned in this book to establish a well maintained way in which to minister to clients, and meet their needs as a counselor. Discussing our own hurts and abilities to minister to others through Dr. Wilson’s techniques and methods will be discovered in this paper.

Trauma is very complex and varied in its nature. Traumatic events include child abuse, neglect and maltreatment. Wamser‐Nanney & Vandenberg (2013) found that one of the more harmful types of trauma is the abuse is committed intentionally. This directly impacts the victim 's safety and sense of trust. The devastating effects of this type of trauma is the way in which it impacts not only the survivors, but also future generations, and the ability they have to form attachments (Connolly, 2011).

The problem I aim to address is that of the lifelong scars that affect a victim of child sexual abuse; and how it hinders one from seeking God for healing and understanding according to Scripture.

This client was Christian and from my estimation now looking back was just beginning their walk with Christ and not on the same maturity level that I was at that time in my walk with Christ. At that time I knew how forgiveness first and foremost is obedience to God, and secondly how it can set you free from so many emotional problems, McMinn said, “Forgiveness, in its theological and spiritual context, is profound, life-giving, and transforming. When we remove the religious context and think of forgiveness only as a clinical technique, we risk losing the essence of forgiveness.” (2011, p. 254) After reading this chapter it made me re-live an area in which I was not fully equipped to help client maneuver their way through. This particular chapter has allowed me to see how vital forgiveness is in a therapeutic session, and how it must be used carefully. It is made me aware of how important my Christianity is to forgiveness, but also to assess the level my client is currently on before beginning a session on forgiveness. Reflection

In general, self-forgiveness is identified by a common ability to exhibit self-respect in spite of the acceptance of wrong-doing (Hall, J., Fincham, D., 2005). I never considered the distinction between interpersonal forgiveness and intrapersonal forgiveness. While they share many similarities, there is even greater evidence of the differences between the two. One significant difference involves the consequences of withholding forgiveness from self. It is likely that intrapersonal unforgiveness can be much more detrimental than interpersonal. Hall & Fincham state “ Self-forgiveness often entails a resolution to change” (2005). It is this process of acceptance of one’s own imperfections and sinful nature that catapults a desire for self-improvement and growth. This is a critical component of healing the soul and beginning the journey to spiritual and mental health. Also enlightening was the declaration that one can experience pseudo self forgiveness by failing to acknowledge any wrong doing and convincing him/herself that they are without fault. Finally, I was struck by the notion that self-forgiveness will typically

Asking for forgiveness and forgiving to many is the hardest thing to do but we must remember in the book of Matthew (18:21-22) Peter said to the Lord: “Lord if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” In this paper, the chosen case study will give the reader a better understanding of what forgiveness is to Jesus. Forgiveness is a big part of the Bible and if Jesus forgives us of our sins we too must learn to be as forgiving as him.