I Am I Still Alive

However, for me, elementary school is a somewhat painful memory. Throughout most of my grade school years I was bullied–physically and verbally–almost everyday. The kids on the playground would exclude me, my “friends” would be my friends one day and not the next, and then there would be the days that they kicked me or hurt me in some form or fashion. Of course, looking back now, it seems like petty, childish games, but in the moment it was a huge blow to the fragile eight year old I was. It wasn’t all terrible, though. Before the bullying I was naive, quick to trust, and fragile. Afterwards though, from all these experiences I learned forgiveness, kindness, grace, and who to place my trust in. As I grew up, I swore I’d never treat anyone the way I had been treated and I wouldn’t stand for bullying; no child should have to experience that kind of emotional and physical

But as I make meaning of the story that my life encapsulates – I was a damaged soul, damaged by abuse by my own father. I can't even say I have a father, because I grew up without knowing what father's love felt like. My earthly father had a gambling problem and had multiple affairs outside of marriage. The pains of my childhood robbed me of my identity, confidence, security, trust in men, joy of living and believe in myself. I struggled greatly even as I grew into adulthood, but, God has healed me, and He is still healing and redeeming me from the wounds of my past. Through many challenges in life, as I grew into adulthood, I find myself asking Him, “God, why, oh God, why do you give me such an emotionally challenging childhood?” Though I did not receive a clear answer all these years but he taught me one thing, and that is to live my life with open hands, to allow God, the Author to do what He so choose to do. It is He, God, the Master of my life, and as for me, to live a life surrendered to my Master. Only then, did I realise that that's how I am able to taste his endless richness of His grace. God has redeemed me and has blessed me so much. Today, I can say that I am blessed and I give thanks to God. Now that I am here, in SBC, studying this work of Benner, it is totally sobering to be called into the work of soul care. Having taken the journey that I have, this reckoning gives me true meaning of what I have experienced in my past; it is that

During my early years I was bullied in and out of school. My first experience with bullying started when I was in daycare. A girl named Kelly started bullying me. Every time I saw her she would talk about either my hair or my clothes or the way I looked. One day, my brother and Kelly’s sister were watching Kelly and I. Kelly’s aunt had told her to leave me alone. And after her aunt left the room, Kelly started pushing me to see what I would do and after a while I got really angry, so I punched her in the face. As her aunt came back in the room, she saw Kelly on the floor with me standing over her. Kelly’s Aunt then said, “Did I not tell you to leave her alone.” After that experience I knew that I had the

After being bullied a great deal in middle school, I stepped into freshman year of high school with a lack self-esteem and trust in myself. I didn’t believe I could make top ten percent in my class, I didn’t believe I could pass the Pre-AP classes my parents had signed me up for and, I didn’t believe I could make friends. The most amazing thing about this, was that not only did I prove to myself that I could succeed at everything that I had once doubted myself in, but my experience in regaining my self-esteem completely changed my personality and created the person I am today.

In order to get the help I needed, my mom had to pick me up two hours early from school every day and bring me to Anderson Elementary, where the speech therapist was located. Being forced to leave school early didn't help my social issues. The friends I had turned on me, and I became the weird girl. I no longer had people to eat lunch with, and invitations to birthday parties stopped arriving in the mail. I was mocked on a daily basis by people I had previously considered to be friends. Everyone had their own conspiracy theories about me; it hurt. Along with my new-found social struggles, my grades began to drop and I knew I had to make a

When a person hears about bullying or physical abuse, they normally think it couldn't happen to them or at least that is what I thought. I had this illusion that people were compassionate and would see everyone around them as their equals, as human beings. However, I was being naive; I had painfully learned others could be cruel and manipulative when I was six on the verge of seven. I had barely started my first year of school, but by the end of that year I never wanted to go back.

Most often, students ask me how I cope with such variety of situations especially with dying patients, or telling a family member that there is nothing more to do. I immediately tell them that I fully rely on God for my strength and compassion. I cannot image a day without constant access to God for strength and comfort by simply praying silently throughout the day. Sharing situations that I have witnessed opens the door to plant a simple seed of faith and that there is always hope even in times of pain, suffering and sorrow. “Hope is essential to life.” (Townes 2007) With repeated exposure to tragic events often resulting in death, it is easy to question God’s

When I was kid, I had some run-ins at school with bullies. It was hard at the time, and I went home each evening for some time, griping to my mother about it. Fortunate for me, it didn't keep going long, and I didn't grow up at once where children could be tormented in such a large number of various ways at school, on Facebook or through other online networking outlets.

In third grade I was unsocial I didn't talk I was a ball of emotions I lost my mom everything changed people would bully me I would come home crying. It was a never ending story. Teachers would take me out of class to talk about

I haven’t been bullied since but it still left emotional scars considering the only person I told about was my teacher, she fixed it but I still felt a large amount of fear of older kids. That fear has since gone away but I still am affected by it. However, home for me wasn’t all that good either. My mother had bad anger issues and usually snapped at the littlest of things, but when she wasn’t angry she was great. I dealt with it however and tried to maintain a relationship with her even though things are

6th grade became the worst year of my life. My step-dad called me a piece of shit that year. I had maybe 5, 6 friends. 7th grade was a great year for me, which allowed me to become more vulnerable and naive than I already was. Then came 8th grade, which became(very quickly) a year worse than 6th grade. Not only did I have the same amount of friends as 6th grade, my teachers treated me like I was an abomination, a retard. Well, not all the teachers, just the male teachers. All of my female teachers treated me nicer by comparison, although one lost my homework and blamed it on me even though I handed it in on time and where the homework was supposed to go. I still won’t get credit for it. Once, a teacher assumed I made myself sick and leave home early to avoid a test and called me dumb. As the class ended we were supposed to finish writing in class. He took away some of the time I needed to make up that same test to finish it. When I finished it, he yelled at me calling me stupid and let me leave to make up that test. As I was taking it, he tried talking to my science teacher to prevent me from making it

Bringing back when I was in elementary/middle school at Soaring Heights Charter School. There were a lot of bullies in my school. I was one of the kids being bullied. I was mainly bullied because of my learning disability. I was also bullied because I was really short back then as well as doing nasty habits. Because of these reasons, I had limited friends and had social issues with talking and making friends.

My problems snowballed when, in sixth grade, I switched from a small Catholic school to a much larger environment in a new town. Being bullied became a huge part of my life, which made things a lot more difficult to cope with. I had no friends and was teased all the time.

After graduating at the top of my 8th grade class and being named the valedictorian, my future appeared to be bright. By this time, I already envisioned having a career in the military. The road to getting to the top of my class was by no means easy. The mental strain placed on me through bullying was immeasurable. I knew what I wanted to do in life, but being degraded by the people who were supposed to stand by my side as friends took away a lot of my motivation and confidence. How could the same people I trust steal things from me and harass me? The effects of these incidents were displayed throughout my ninth-grade year in high school

It all started when I went back to public school, I knew I was different from all the other kids, no one liked me, I had no friends, everyone made fun of me, and I hated it. It was the first day of sixth grade and I was excited, but I knew that I needed to make new friends because I left all my friends at my other school. I wasn’t smart, so I had to be put in the regular classes with all the bad kids. They weren’t smart and they didn’t care about school, but I just had to deal with it. Almost every day someone asked me why I was in the regular classes, all I said was that I’m not that smart, they made fun of me, and it hurt me. It kept getting worse, I couldn’t make friends because everyone would bully me and call me names.