I Had His Huge Crush On Me

Our relationship began like very few relationships do, on Facebook. In June of 2009, after I had been accepted into a Fall 2009 freshman class, a boy said hello in a message and a 4-page paper could not even touch the surface of our relationship in those past 2 years, but I will do my best to explain as much as possible. Over the next few months, the

We only wanted to spend time with each other, making social relationships outside ours difficult. Spending so much time together brought our first conflicts. I soon learned topical boundaries when bringing up other guys or discussing our different religions made John angry and uncomfortable. Conversations ended abruptly and we did not revisit the sensitive topics until much later. As our relationship moved beyond involvement, his protective instincts overpowered everything. I initially welcomed this protection as a sign of caring since I always wanted a boyfriend to protect me from conflict, just like in the movies. However, this overprotective trend stifled me whenever my communications with another guy made John jealous and upset. He tested my feelings for him by manipulating guilt when I looked in the direction of another guy, for whatever reason. At the time, I ignored his jealousy because my strong feelings for him overshadowed my needs as an individual. Looking back, I realize our involvement intensified throughout this period of our relationship, for better and worse.

We wake up at 8 a.m. and head to the airport, as soon as we get there we get on a plane for three and a half hours. It is 9 a.m. when we arrive, I notice that we live in one of the main parts of California, LA. Luckily it's only Friday and I don't have to start school until Monday. So on saturday I wake up and decide to go out for coffee by myself. As I am walking I receive a text from my mom and at that moment I bump into someone and fall. I get up and and see a cute guy standing in front of me, I go to say sorry but he speaks first “Watch where you're going!” He exclaimed as he walked away. I didn't even bother to stop for coffee I wasn't in the mood after that unfriendly

There was another person in school that believed in me, even more than myself; that person was my guidance counselor. Without asking, she started sending me scholarship applications to my homeroom every single day. I didn’t know how scholarships worked; I wasn’t familiarized with the school system, neither universities/colleges. To that end, I started visiting her for guidance. From that moment I became really attached to her. I used to go to her office three to four times a month. Even for the smallest thing, I was in the guidance room wanting to see her or she would go to my classes looking for me.

Before my big move to Houston about three years ago for college, it was my last summer back home in a little city called Amarillo, which is considered “West Texas,” although it’s actually located geographically north within the heart of the Texas Panhandle. I was enjoying every last bits of the time that I’ve had left with my friends and family. The last thing I could think of worrying about during that summer was a romantic relationship. My intentions were to make bittersweet memories and to have what they would call, fun. I went out almost every single weekend for the first month of my last summer and met tons of friends and I became closer to old casual friends. Within that first month of consistently going out and hanging out with all these friends that I became close to, I met a very sweet, charming, and interesting guy named Andy. Something about him caught my attention. He was silly and funny without even trying, so I took an interest in him. We started messaging each other on Facebook then texting and making polite conversations. Before I knew it, this was the starting point to a whole new friendship. When he first messaged me, as much as I hesitated to respond to him because I knew I was moving and I did not want to develop feelings just leave everything behind, I wanted to not just respond but to strike more conversations. I became curious about him and I wanted to find out more and more.

In middle school I met a girl who quickly became my best friend. After we met, we did nearly everything together. We were simply incepreable. We continued to be very close all the way up into junior year of high school. This is when she met and started dating one of the senior boys from our school. She had always had a thing for "bad boys" and this boy was a picture perfect representation of one. After she started seeing him more, I started seeing her less and less. The boy she was dating apparently disliked me; a lot. He began to take control of everything in her life. When she came to lunch everyday at school, she would sit with me and a group of my friends and tell us how he would hit

They were scared that he would die and that if they were attached they would be devastated. They did not show him their love because of their

I hated him for the same reason he hated me—we each reminded the other of what we were. There were misdeeds along the way that fanned the flames. The time he slammed my head against the wall in sixth grade and blacked my eyes. The time he and his buddies held me down and peed on me in the boy's restroom. The time he pantsed me in front of the whole cafeteria. The time he kicked me in the balls so hard I puked all over shop class. The countless trips and body checks. Every day he looked at me with that sneer as if I were the dog shit clinging to his shoe. Just listening to his stupid voice on the phone made my blood boil.

In the middle of my junior year, I was finally happy. Hanging with new friends and enjoying my life as a single high school student. I had never dated someone at Grassfield High School. I felt I would end high school without having one. This changed at an unexpected time. I remember walking to the junior lot everyday and Grant Holloway, who everyone knows, teased me daily about my passion for Ohio State. I thought it was innocent since he was going to a Southeastern Conference non-powerhouse in football – well at least I feel it is a non-powerhouse. One day, my friend Gabby said something to me about him teasing me. She questioned if he was interested in me and I shrugged it off because I knew he was off and on with his ex. Until one day, I

Sailing was smooth for the following few years and to everyone’s surprise, I did well in high school. I made it into university for Bachelor of Arts, and this was where I came across him again. He was my first friend at undergrad year. The moment I saw him we clicked, as though we were long time friends that just took a holiday away from each other. Hours of my time was invested into him. He was the first and only person I ever opened up myself to and told about my secrets. We would always hang out amidst other friends and he would always come to my house but I never went to his. He accepted me for who I was and that was why I was so drawn to him

reasons. The main one being is if I didn’t them why he does the things that he does.

On October 13th, 2013 I met the man of my dreams his name is Justin Fever, and he forever changed my life. I knew him in high school, he was the quiet guy and I was the popular gal. We actually went to the same college, and he sent me “DMs” and always Tweeted Me. His messages stated, ….. In college we didn’t have any classes, but he asked me out for dinner, and I said yeah, sure. We met for dinner at Sparrows Tavern in New York, highly expensive, but scrumptious. He made a joke about us two having a thing for each other. I panicked, and said “no” casually, because history has taught me that only bad things happen from there. As I slowly walked to my car on the way home, I relived every moment of this magical evening. He could be my soul mate, I thought.

He’s admired me since we were in Level Three. Plus, since he’s two years older than everyone else so he’d always been bigger and more intimidating and poor me became his the victim of his affection. He was really sweet for the first few weeks. I was probably only twelve and while I am tall for my age, I weighed little to nothing, and he always stood taller. He’d help me reach for books in the library, he’d offer to carry my things, and then things slowly got worse. He’d grab ahold of my hand or wrist and pull me along, no matter how hard I fought. He’d stalk me as I’d walk home, and on the last day of school everyone was invited to the big bonfire that was being held. Of course I went. I might not have been a social butterfly, but bonfires were rare, and I was obsessed with the

and she thought he was weird and boring. However, it took her a few years to get used to him and his well-beings.

After our relationship moved beyond involvement, his protective instincts overpowered everything. I actually welcomed this protection as a sign of his caring for me since I always wanted a guy to protect me from conflict, just like in the movies. However, this overprotection stifled me and made me feel guilty whenever my communications with another guy made John jealous and angry. He tested my feelings for him by making me feel guilty about even looking in the direction of other guys. At the time, I ignored his jealousy because my strong feelings for him overshadowed my own needs as an individual. Looking back, I realize our involvement actually intensified, for the better and the worse.