I Hate English

Weaknesses: English grammar, but by learning in school homework and discussions with my eagerness to

My English proficiency improved as I entered second grade, and by third grade I tested out of “English as a second language” classes at my school and I placed into honors English. From third grade all the way until eighth grade I continued to place into honors English but part of me was still the insecure six-year old from first grade. My test scores indicated that I was advanced and capable of being in an honors class but I didn’t have confidence in my own intelligence. The reason for my success to that point was due to me wanted to prove to everyone that I was brilliant just like everyone else and that it didn’t matter that at one time I didn’t know English. Somehow, I convinced everyone about my scholarly ability, everyone except

I wish I could place the blame on having unfavorable English teachers like I’ve frequently heard others have the misfortune of facing, although this was never the case. There is no one person or situation that I can claim is responsible for my constant, creeping feelings of inadequacy and I have no knowledge of why I started placing such extreme amounts of pressure on myself. All I know is that it soon seeped into other areas of my life. It was no longer just English in which I strived for perfection, but every subject, every task- inside and outside of school. Almost like everything in my life would be graded and the only grade I would accept is that A, always an A. This obsession, ironically, more often leads to my failure.

“I hate it, I hate it, I hate it” I used to tell my mom when she used to ask me to read or write. I remember at times when I had to go to school I used to cry and scream and just did not want to go. I used to get bad grades and couldn’t read and was not a fluent writer. I used to struggle and cry while I watched the other kids do it easily. While growing up reading and writing were my worst subjects and I used to hate them I struggled in them.

I hate grammar and I want to cum. So far my bad grammar has cost me 11 points. At this rate I will have to be doing like 3 points task a day just to keep up with the points I lose. I never thought I could have such a hate for the word you're.

Most humans want to learn things as they grow, because of the need to adapt and evolve as the landscape changes around them. As a person grows, the need to either learn a skill or perfect an ability to complete a task is increased. In Daniel Felsenfeld’s story, “Rebel Music”, he describes the music literacy he developed throughout his teenage years. This was due to him finding another genre of music that garnered his attention turning him to become a composer of classical music. In Shannon Nichols story, “Proficiency”, she mentions developing a nonchalant attitude toward reading and writing due to failing a proficiency test multiple times. In many ways, I can certainly relate to them in terms of Felsenfeld developing a new attitude towards classical music. As well as Nichols having a nonchalant attitude towards reading and writing. Compared to Felsenfeld, during a time in my life when I grew very weary of today’s southern mumble hip hop, I found myself becoming a huge fan of 90’s hip hop, and that has given me the urge to possibly purse a career in hip hop. Continuing, we both started to take interest in music that other’s in our communities didn’t listen to at the same age of 17. On the other hand, when comparing my literacy development to Nichols we both developed nonchalant attitudes after experiencing failure. She developed that trait after failing a test multiple times, but I developed a nonchalant attitude when trying to write out lyrics that contain complex rhymes and

Often times, we rely on the world to we live in to shape us. From mass media, to magazines to commercials, we always find ourselves seeking the next best thing instead of what we already have. The way society shapes us develops each and every one of us because we are persuaded by such advertisements. Robert Scholes of “On Reading A Video Text”, and Shirley Jackson of “The Lottery”, show appropriate examples of the world we live in today. Robert Scholes proves how distorted and misconceiving people construe the world through the “Lottery”, proving his idea of cultural reinforcement.

From the time I was in about fourth or fifth grade I began to dislike certain subjects in school. I loathed everything about writing assignments. I didn’t write at home before that the thought of writing for myself never really occurred to me. I hated the deadlines the length requirements and I just tried to get them done and had no intention of writing well because I told myself I was a bad writer. I have never really known whether or not I truly am a bad writer. I continued these habits of just writing something down to get a decent grade all throughout school. I usually got an okay grade because I followed the prompt closely and did the minimum amount of work for the paper. I didn’t start the assignments until either the night before it was due. As I got older I would type the paper on my phone in school that day then print it off in the library moments before class. I continued writing in that awful ritual of complacency until the end of 11th grade. We had to write a paper on The Great Gatsby a book that I never read. I read couple of notes on the internet and then wrote the paper and never reread it or edited it all. I did my usual routine and followed the prompt and turned my paper in. When I got my paper back I was shocked to find out I didn’t get even a half decent grade I was given a zero. I went to my teacher after class to speak with him about the grade and he told me I got the grade that I deserved. He said I was lazy and never tried to truly work in

I may have a few weaknesses, but also have a couple of good strengths when it comes to school. I am very organized when it comes to paper work and class. I normally have a folder for each class and divided by different sections. Being on time is a big strength for me. I do not like to be late. Being on time also makes me prepare for class calm and not anxious.

Talking at circle time about something that you like but are not so good at i.e. every time I try and grow a sunflower it doesn’t grow, but then finish off with but I am very good at washing my car and making it squeaky clean.

As I read the comments on my Instagram post, I laugh. I had posted a picture from when I was little, so of course, my friends had to make sarcastic comments on it. While I was reading them I noticed words like “lol”, “tho”, and “bc”. I was five in the picture and I was not taught to write like that. No one was. We were taught to read beyond our level, write grammatically correct, spell right, and speak clearly. Well at least that was what my sister, Riley, taught me when we turned her bedroom into a classroom and played school. Riley is two years ahead of me in school. When she would come home, she would teach me what she learned that day. I loved playing school and it gave me an appreciation for reading and writing because we did it for fun. This also allowed me to strive for more than average since she was teaching me things the others wouldn’t learn for a couple of years.

My talent is teaching. Some people can sing, others can dance, or maybe they are good at sports, but my talent

I used to be a stubborn and reckless child. I was always ‘that guy’ that was so different from the rest of the children. In life people need to be unique and stay away from conformity. I had problems with my school education and I felt unceasingly weaker than my classmates in one certain subject. The subject I had problems with was something all my other classmates excelled in. The subject I had a hard time with was math. I was always afraid to ask my math teacher questions because I did not want to be the laughing stock of the class. I felt like if I had asked my math

English, for me, has always been a course I'm okay at. I'm not great, however,

Starting in high school, I realized I was hearing conflicting perspectives from teachers and family. Some people claimed I was “gifted” that is; knowledgeable and creative, but I worked hard at tasks others seemed to find simple such memorizing, staying focused, and keeping organized. At first, I justified my lack of focus and incentive claiming the transition from middle school to high school had begun to affect me. The years past and my problem lingered, yet I sustained my belief that I had a problem until my grade point average reached my record lowest.