I Was A And I Have Changed

I’ve grown up in a divided family, spending weekends and holidays at which ever parents’ house it was time to visit. My parents are not together so it makes things kind of weird when they have a different significant other. About four years ago I used to live with my mom after my dad got sent away to prison. In the beginning everything was fine. I went to school and had friends like every sixteen year old should. After a while my mom met a guy and his name was Robert. I never liked it when my parents were dating a different person, but I felt like I at least wanted them to find happiness even if it wasn’t with each other. So when my mom asked for my blessing, I approved. At first I liked him, he was nice and helped my mom out with money and things around the house. He got along with my brother and I, would take my mom on nice dates, and buy her flowers. Then he started to change

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by “an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any and all criticism, and an extreme sense of entitlement”. (DSM IV) These two disorders are often co-morbid, which means that antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are often shown in people at the same time, but not always. Both disorders are much more prevalent in men than they are prevalent in women.

A subgroup of men with an avoidant attachment style suffers from a condition known as the Madonna-whore complex ((Brogaard 2015). The avoidant attachment style is characterized by an inability to form long-term committed relationships. It is premised on fear of intimacy, rejection and abandonment that arose in early childhood as explained by Brogaard (2015). Brogaard analyzed that the complex occurs as a result of maltreatment by the mother and fear of incest as interpreted by Freud. “When a mother abandons, neglects, verbally, emotionally or physically abuses or is emotionally distant from her infant or young child, the child feels so hurt that he will eventually repress many of the memories associated with the mother’s behavior.”(Brogaard 2015).

On April 21st 2010 my father was sent to jail for engaging in sexual activities with a minor. He was twenty-eight at the time. I wasn’t allowed to see him for about 2-3 years after he was released. But, on April 27th (wow he has a thing for April apparently) he messaged me on facebook asking “Can you keep a secret? Even from your mom?” I said yes because, who doesn’t wanna hear some juicy secrets? C’mon you would have said yes too, don’t lie to yourself. Anyway, after I said yes he told me he had a crush on me. When when I stopped answering he just kept saying stuff like “ Does that bother you? Do you want me to stop talking to you?” Let me just tell you where I was at the time this happened, I was house sitting alone in a creepy house. Do you understand how scary that was for me? Every encounter I have ever had with him made me feel disgusted. Every time he hugged me made me wanna puke.

Narcissism is one of the most common disorders, known to scientists as the most heritable personality disorder in humans (Thomaes, et al ). It affects temperament, an individual’s nature pertaining to their permanent behavior, which can be affected through inheritance and their surroundings. In humans, the earliest stages in life affect the development of temperament the most, according to Thomaes et al ( ). It is also understood that the culture and atmosphere surrounding a human affects the maturation of narcissistic tendencies (handbook ). Thus, when a child evolves into an adult narcissist it can be inferred that at least one of their parents also displayed characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. The wide range of self absorbed mannerisms includes holding extravagant and unstable views of oneself, a need to seek self-validation from others, infidelity, and often addictions (Thomaes et al ). A narcissist can be covert, a self-absorbed introvert that often experiences shame and similar emotions, or overt, a selfish extravert that blocks negativity through aggressive anger (Soyer et al ).

Why would a narcissist want a child to begin with? It is very difficult for a child with a narcissistic parent to function very well in life. The children of narcissists have an especially pronounced dilemma; they lack the proper coping mechanisms and quite often the necessary resources to deal with their narcissistic parent. Often being involuntarily assigned the role of a golden child, a child with a narcissistic parent is at a marked disadvantage from birth. In most instances, to rub salt into the pre-existing wound, they are denied the thing that most children should be recipients of at that birth, a parent's unconditional love. Narcissistic parent have strong tendencies to be stifling in certain areas, and completely neglectful in others,

Care of the Soul Thomas Moore vividly and intensely describes ways to care for the soul. He uses many examples of his own and other people’s experiences. Care of the Soul is a healthy read that instructs one on ways to productively dive into themselves and find their inner soul. The soul that Moore refers to must be cared for in a delicate manner and never neglected. “When the soul is neglected, it doesn’t just go away; it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, and loss of meaning.”

Narcissism is a socially agreed upon unfavorable trait, and one that is often correlated with negative outcomes. Like with many inopportune attributes, psychologists and researchers believe that by studying narcissism over time interventions could be set in place to deter environmental or genetic factors that contribute to this personality feature. By studying children and parents, researchers aimed to identify what feedback parents give to their children that could contribute to higher narcissistic tendencies. Specifically, researchers looked at the idea of overvaluing a child or not showing enough warmth, and its links to narcissism. It is important to analyze both popular press and research articles as they aim to provide varying depths of knowledge to different groups of people. Popular press articles are generally used as quick, easy to read sums of information for consumers and parents, and can be of major influence for families. Research articles should be conducted with the highest scientific integrity and if they are misinterpreted, either in the press or in their respective journals, they could have detrimental effects. This analysis aims to compare and contrast a research article and its subsequent popular press article while touching on strengths and weaknesses of both.

About loving deeply - a narcissist would have chosen someone who believes the best of others, who honestly loves people and only want what’s best for others. This “gullibility” is something a narcissist will zoom in on, and if ever the spouse calls the narcissist out on something, he will make her feel sorry for him, let her believe that he is depressed, or still cannot get over the death of a parent, or remind her how badly he was treated as a child. This love is similar to motherly love, where person wants to save and protect those who need it.

I have had two very important instance that made me very cautious of who I date and fall in love with. These problematic life lesson didn’t just happen overnight. It was more of a build up and chain of unfortunate predicaments that finally made me act. Let me explain.

Unfortunately dear reader, this is not a story with a happy ending. It is instead a story is about all my fears coming to life. One day, things began to shift with this man. Matt began acting strange for a lack of better word around me. It started off small of course, him not asking me anymore how I was or what I was doing. Instead, he began demanding answers. He did not want to know where or what I was doing, he needed to know. If I would not answer fast enough he would end up calling me stating ludicrous assumptions about what I was actually doing. I, of course, ignored it, creating ridiculous excuses in my head the entire time. Oh, he is just scared of losing me. Or, Wow he cares a lot more than I originally thought. I even went as far as

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is one of the four personality disorders in Cluster B. These four personality disorders are tied together due to similar symptoms. People with a Cluster B personality disorder are often viewed as overly emotional, self-dramatizing, and unstable. The other three Cluster B disorders are antisocial, borderline, and histrionic. NPD is characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, a constant need of admiration, and a lack of empathy for others (Frey, 2012). According to Kernberg and Kohut, the roots of NPD can be traced to disturbances in the parent-child relationship before the child turned three years old (Frey, 2012). However, Kernberg differed from Kohut in that Kernberg believed that NPD was rooted in a defense by the child towards an unempathetic and cold parent (Frey, 2012). This paper will explore Kernberg’s theory as it applies to NPD and its treatment. As well as examine the neurobiology and diversity of NPD.

I was nineteen years old, and infatuated with my now ex-boyfriend. I was inexperienced with relationships, and wanted someone attentive to my needs. He awarded me with attention, and I had faith he saw something unique in myself. Reflecting back on the relationship, I realized the love I had for him was never sufficient enough. He blatantly looked at other women when we were out together. I tend to not be a jealous person, but it hurt my ego and pride when my endeavors to look nice went unnoticed. My mother has often asked why I stayed with him, and I never know how to answer the question. I enabled him to treat me the way he did by investing my own identity and self-worth into his approval.

At the beginning of this course, I kept calling it a “therapy” course. I was under the impression I was going to come out of the class a better person who has taken the time to make changes and reflect. However, as the course progressed I recognized that the class is what you put into it. The class wasn’t going to change me by doing these activities, but it was how these activities challenged me shift my priorities and simply become more aware. The only change that was going to be made was if I saw the need for it and I was committed. I think the course overall encouraged us, the students, to become more self-aware in many different aspects of our lives. In my case, I think I gained the most from the constant discussion of the importance of reflection and consciousness. Although, we focused on certain topics throughout the semester like time management, diet, and gender issues; I think the main objective was to improve my connection with myself and to realize my own potential. I believe that each person should gain something different by the end of the semester because the discussions and activities all have a varying affects. I assume that the level of immersion from students differed depending on the activity and how the student determined its importance. However, I would think that everyone in class, including myself, is able to be more open, honest, and truthful with myself. Additionally, I think this course emphasized the importance for students to always strive to

I have always considered myself to be an “out of the box” thinker. I usually look on the bigger picture and all the possible “what ifs” my mind could conjure. However, I have learned some things this semester that really put me in check. Things that caused me to stop and think and readjust the way I view the world. I still think that Freud’s theories are absurd but now I don’t dismiss them. I have learned through the tenure of the course that everyone has a story and even Freud is worth the benefit of the doubt. I even realized that as soon as I allowed myself to start seeing things differently, I started finding aspects of his theories that were applicable to my life and to the youth I work with in my placement. Despite my ill-feelings towards Freud and his absurdity, I must say that because of his work I have become more aware of myself. For example, I am an avid doodler, I doodle anytime and everywhere, and I never get embarrassed if I am caught. Now I look at my doodles differently, I find myself stopping in the middle of my doodling to become mindful of what I was scribbling because according to Freud, doodling is a kind of visual free association, a way of tapping into the deep reservoir of self-knowledge contained not in words but in images. Prior to this new insight, doodling was just something I do when I was bored or when I wanted to stay awake during a long meeting or lecture.