As humans, identity is relevant to every one of us. It allows us to be defined by our unique, complex, and individual characteristics rather than a broader classification like species. Beyond this, it further distinguishes us from other animals because the concept lets us have a sense of who we are and how we relate to the world around us. You touch on this in your section about individuality as well as your section on self-awareness. I appreciate these points because they are understandable and relatable. The essay contains some glaring errors, but the paper shows promise in its current state. Simply proofreading, especially searching for the errors I will mention, will drastically improve it and allow you to improve and add to the content. Even though you can expand your points and discuss them more, they provide a strong basis for your essay. You not only cover a "conventional" definition of …show more content…
I only noticed "seperate" instead of "separate." Even though easily misspelled words are strewn throughout your paper, you manage to spell each one correctly. Along with your impeccable spelling, you employ advanced vocabulary like, "fundamental," "consciousness," and, "brilliance." These vary your word choice and interest the readers. Adding more advanced vocabulary as you edit will strengthen your paper immensely. Implementing sophisticated vocab will also fix one of the paper's biggest issues. Approximately sixty-three out of eighty-three lines contain a variation of the verb "to be." Replacing these, mostly the word "is," will improve the essay tremendously. Some sentences may only require switching the order of words, but others will need a new verb to replace them. Unique verbs will engage the reader and reduce awkward wording such as, "is because that is precisely what it is." This provides a significant opportunity to add even more varied vocabulary and build upon one of your
Overall, the essay seemed to lack flow as a result of a noticeable absence of transition words. The essay had bad syntax. Each paragraph seemed to be scenario after scenario and each sentence seemed to be idea after idea. For example, in the first paragraph, the list consisted of multiple sentences, instead of just one sentence with commas. “But they are few: Being mistaken for a wheat field by a cloud of locusts. Being buried alive”...“Interviews from film festivals.”, this seemed like an awful way to list ideas. In addition, the fourth paragraph of the essay was made up of only 2 sentences, one
Hello Rozhnaz! This writing looks better than the previous one that I revised; congrats! You also gain improvement in terms of the use of academic vocabularies in this essay. Some notes to be considered here are the minor things such as punctuation, redundant expression, and capitalization. Here are several takes on your writing:
Throughout your paper I did find a few grammatical, and spelling error. I will try my best to include as many as I found. I will also include the sentence below my comment, so that you have a better understanding of what I am pointing out.
Identity is what makes a person unique. It is the soul and the essence of a human being. People are not born with a fixed identity. Identity is inherently dynamic; it changes and evolves over time. A person’s identity is ultimately shaped by their decisions. My identity is different from those who surround me. I create my own identity.
The first skill of note centers around the proofreading of essays, where an essay receives revisions, from the reconstruction of paragraphs to the replacement of disinteresting words with intriguing, more complicated vocabulary. My proof of mastery in this skill is in my essay on Christopher Columbus and Charles Lindbergh, in addition to my reflection on a project that I had worked on in my technology class, where I placed complex vocabulary into the essays with my portfolio draft. My strengths in the skill were that I paid close attention to detail, and added in excessively complex words to entice the reader. My major flaw, however, is that the process of replacing words is time-consuming, which gives me less time to focus on other issues in my essays, which were often longer than they needed to be. Fortunately, the constant expansion of essays doubles as a skill, especially when adding further information to short essays.
My initial reaction to my essay was rather...meh. The writing was still very characteristic of Dave Gao. There were no gasps of horror induced by my former writing quality. But as I peered deeper into the language of the paper, I began to notice subtle, yet significant changes I had undergone throughout the year. I have to admit that at the time, I believed my essay was excellent—a verifiable work of beauty. Now, the essay looked crude, and a bit too simplistic. The vocabulary seemed rather
I noticed various grammatical and punctuation errors. Additionally, the content of the paper lacks flow. I also noticed the use of slang phrases within the work. For example, while the student meant ‘to expose' ‘unveil' ‘denounce,' they used the phrase ‘ratted out.' Slang language is a very informal type of communication that is more common in speech than in writing.
When you finish, reread the essay to check for all of the points above, and then proofread it to be sure your work does not contain errors in grammar or spelling.
Identity is what defines us as a person. Everyone one on earth has their own unique identity. To showcase my identity, I created a collage of images and descriptive words, called an identi-kit. This identi-kit shows what I feel like is my identity to myself and the others. My identi-kit identifies me as a mixed martial artist. The identi-kit has images of a deadly shark with mixed martial arts gloves on that say mixed martial arts on the front and fight shorts with the words competitor and warrior on them. It also has descriptive words like “killer instinct” and “fight” which describe my spirit. There are three assumptions that come to question when asking about one’s identity. The first is if you were born with this
There were only a couple of sentences that were confusing, but the essay was well written
After I finished the first draft, I found a tutor to improve my paper. Thanks to reading my paper, I myself pointed a lot of mistakes. For example, some sentences are too general and some terms cannot let readers understand well. I really hope that from my paper, the readers can get more information about what is the true meaning of
This essay was very enjoyable for me because I was able to choose my own topic. Throughout high school, I mainly analyzed different types of text and was never assigned any research papers. So this assignment was very refreshing to complete because I was able to research and find my own sources to support my claim.
Who I am? Personally, I believe that a person’s identity can take only one of two routes. One, a person’s identity can change within that person’s life. Who I am now, is not necessarily who I was when I was younger. Experience can and will likely modify our identities. Therefore, experience can solidify our personal identification or it can weaken our personal identification. And as such, individuals and their perspectives are always evolving, or at the very least, they should evolve over time. Although there are some identities that evolve throughout one’s lifetime; there are some identities that remain consistent. Two, some identities cannot and will not change. So identities are socially and/or politically forces upon you, some identities are genetically assigned to you, and some you choose to keep. No matter the reason or reasons, these identities have been and will be consist within your lifespan. But, how you deal with them is up to you as an individual.
Identity is a state of mind in which someone recognizes/identifies their character traits that leads to finding out who they are and what they do and not that of someone else. In other words it's basically who you are and what you define yourself as being. The theme of identity is often expressed in books/novels or basically any other piece of literature so that the reader can intrigue themselves and relate to the characters and their emotions. It's useful in helping readers understand that a person's state of mind is full of arduous thoughts about who they are and what they want to be. People can try to modify their identity as much as they want but that can never change. The theme of identity is a very strenuous topic to understand
While childhood seemed like a breeze, my adolescent years were anything but that. Adolescence, the transition between childhood and adulthood beginning with puberty, is a time full of physical and psychological changes both positive and negative. During this time individuals are in search of their identity, a task that can yield a lot of confusion. The question of who am I lingers in the back of adolescent minds and the answer anything but simple. This struggle for an identity and one’s place in society can lead to stress. Through exploration and soul searching, however, one might find their identity. For me, this question seemed impossible to answer, however, I always had a strong desire to fit in and be liked by others. Reading through the different developmental theories in the text, I started to compare them to events in my own life and noticed many significant similarities.