A simple summary of I’m Ok-You’re Ok will not give the needed credit that the book and its author deserve. It is a book that one must read to fully or even partially understand it’s meaning and the author’s viewpoint of transactional analysis. The author, Thomas A. Harris M.D., explains in this book the vast amount of experiences that affect the way we live our life from the moment we are born to the second we die. He explains the different feelings a child experiences from being taken cared of and attended to and vice versa. These feelings are described as “I’m not ok-you’re not ok, I’m not ok-you’re ok, I’m ok-you’re ok, and I’m ok-you’re not ok.” The author explains how
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Harris puts it “stroking.” Cuddling brings a sense of “I’m ok-you’re ok.” “I’m ok” being the feeling the child gets because he or she is being shown love by a larger, more inferior character (parent) and “you’re ok” being how the infant feels about the parent. I also learned that the other feelings are just as likely to appear as in this last one. Dr. Harris explains that a simple neglect of “stroking” can cause a child to think he or she has done something wrong therefore causing the belief that he or she is not ok but the parent is ok. There are so many different reasons why children feel and act the way they do. The book also made me realize that what we experience when we are just infants have strong pulls on how we act and think as adults. Everything we do seems to go back to how we were treated as infants and how we saw our parents.
After I got passed trying to understand the value of stroking in children I moved on to how adults interact with adults. I learned that there is not a whole lot of difference between children and adults. As life proceeds adults look for just as much comforting and stroking as young children. Although their ways of doing so are somewhat vastly different their goals are still he same. Adults talk to each other to form a bond that is healthy to them both. If they agree then their levels of
Practitioners may use gestures and body language to show the parents/carers that they are always friendly and can be relied on.
Do humans think of their parents as warm and comfortable when they look at them? Harry Harlow’s experiment with infant monkeys put this idea to the test to see if humans do rely on the “importance of warm contact” (king,2017), or if it is simply the emotion of loving someone. "Many of the existing theories of love centered on the idea that the earliest attachment between a mother and child was merely a means for the child to obtain food, relieve thirst, and avoid pain” (Cherry,2017). This experiment all comes back to attachment, which is when someone or something will start developing a bonding connection with their caregiver. Harlow's experiments correlate with my past experiences whereby I formed a beneficial attachment by warmth, which is the feeling of being safe and loved.
With today’s changing world and the economy the way it is, it is not uncommon for people of all ages to enter the college setting. In fact, two-thirds of students entering the college setting are classified non-traditional (Brown, 2007). Bill (2003) found that there was an 11% increase of non-traditional student enrollment from 1991-1998 displaying 35% in 91 and 46% in 1998. These numbers have since increased according to Jacobson & Harris (2008) showing that half to 75% of undergraduates consist of the non-traditional student sitting the reasons for reentering the college setting to be economic. What exactly defines a non-traditional student and what services may they need in comparison to the traditional student.
The first hour of life for an infant doing skin to skin contact with their mother provides warmth, protection, and nutrition. The closeness of being on the mother’s chest provides a continuation of hearing the mother’s heartbeat and voice. This is the one place an infant feels most content knowing all their needs are met.
The Strange Situation is meant to be a snapshot of the relationship between infant and caregiver, and provide insight into the dyadic patterns that define this bond. Securely attached children are thought to have a primary caregiver who is sensitive, available and receptive to their infants needs. Insecure-avoidant children have primary caregivers who are intrusive, controlling and hurtful. These caregivers may be present in the infant’s life but unable to understand their infants needs, and provide the correct response. Caregivers of insecure-ambivalent infants have been found to be unresponsive to the needs of the infant, and very often unavailable. The effect of this treatment is that the infant is starved for affection and attention. The infant also feels the need to amplify their needs in an effort to reach their caregiver (Barnett & Vondra, 1999).
In the short story, The Kid Nobody Could Handle, by Kurt Vonnegut, the main character of the story is George Helmholtz. He lives in a small town with his wife, is the head of the music department at the local high school and the director of the band. He is the most important person in the story because he is the only one, not psychiatrists, and foster parents, to make a difference in Jim’s life. Throughout the story, George is determined and hopeful, lonely, and fixated with the beauty of music.
Read the article Diagnosis Coding and Medical Necessity: Rules and Reimbursement by Janis Cogley located on the AHIMA Body of Knowledge (BOK) at http://www.ahima.org.
Even if a child is well behaved and listens when they are told not to touch
Infant attachment is the first relationship a child experiences and is crucial to the child’s survival (BOOK). A mother’s response to her child will yield either a secure bond or insecurity with the infant. Parents who respond “more sensitively and responsively to the child’s distress” establish a secure bond faster than “parents of insecure children”. (Attachment and Emotion, page 475) The quality of the attachment has “profound implications for the child’s feelings of security and capacity to form trusting relationships” (Book). Simply stated, a positive early attachment will likely yield positive physical, socio-emotional, and cognitive development for the child. (BOOK)
-Physical contact: when working with young children, adults are often rightly concerned about having any physical contact with them because of issues which surround safeguarding. However, in some situations, it’s appropriate to put an arm around a
Many debates are still circulating concerning research among psychologists, sociologists, and anthropologists. Former studies on theoretical associations indicate that the affection of a child is begun not only innately, but by the recognition of the mother’s face, body, and other physical characteristics. Affectional development
| * Trying to stay nearby their carer or parent * play peek-a-boo, copy hand clapping and pat a mirror image * put hands around a cup or bottle when feeding * understands “NO”
I somewhat have come to understand that other people need affection to get through life felling that they're ok just as much as myself. Affection doesn't have to be a kiss or a hug but just a simple sit down and listening. You have to pay attention to what the other person is saying and recognize wether they are using their parent or child to talk to you. Ultimately the "Adult" makes the decisions but the parent and child are the influences on the adult's decision. I know that I have to be aware of this because I have to know which of my parent or child to use to talk back them. The child inside everyone needs stroking all throughout life and if it is deprived from that then that person will feel he or she is not ok. If I were to have a conversation with someone and they were using their inner child and I used my inner parent to comfort them or stroke them
John Bowlby, who originally developed the theory of attachment, describes it as a “lasting psychological connectedness between human beings” (Somerville, 2009). Furthermore, there are four main characteristic of infant attachment, proximity maintenance, safe haven, secure base, and separation distress. Proximity maintenance is the desire to stay close to the people we have formed an attachment. Safe haven refers to the action of returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety when danger or fear is present. A secure base is a place where the attachment figure acts as a base of security from which a child can explore the surrounding world. Separation distress is the anxiety that occurs when the attachment figure is absent (Cherry, 2011).
Parents need to make their children feel that they love children. Saying to children or expressions like an embrace can accomplish that goal. Give them