In Pat Barker’S “For The White Person Who Wants To Know

1364 WordsApr 6, 20176 Pages
In Pat Barker’s “For the White Person Who Wants to Know How to Be My Friend,” Pat describes the challenges that she faces when making friends as a person of color. Pat describes how instead of seeing her as a unique individual, people immediately label her as black, and overcompensate their actions and words around her. The friends that Pat associates with are acutely aware of their differences, like tastes in music and food, and feel the need to either explain themselves, or put on a performance of liking and enjoying black culture. “Men and Women are from Earth,” by Rosalind Barnett and Caryl Rivers, also carries a similar dilemma. Within this excerpt, the authors describe how in various other writings like Language and Social…show more content…
In fact, John Gray believes that if a woman does not use the typical register, she will only make the situation worse, and cause the husband to withdraw more. Rivers and Barnet explain how inauthentic communication between the married couple only creates misunderstandings between them, and helps to drive them apart. This lack of emotional and deep communication with men could cause a break in the relationship, and a lack of an emotional connection to his children. If men are already do so little housework and childcare, and spends the majority of his time working (Wade et. al 2015), how will he ever manage to develop a meaningful relationship with his family, especially if he does not communicate with them? Women are not exempt from the problems that come with gendered communication. Because women are inclined to use indirect forms of speech (Disch 2009), they can often cause misunderstandings in their relationships. An example from Ohio State University shows this type of complication due to indirect language: “He: I 'm really tired. I have so much work to do—I don 't know how I 'm going to get it done! She: Me, too. There just aren 't enough hours in the day! He: There you go again! You never think my contributions to this marriage are good enough! In this conversation, she is trying to communicate something like "We 're partners and share similar experiences." Her intended "between the lines" message is: "I understand what you 're

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