Individual Reflection : Handling Difficult Conversation

The first four chapters of that’s Not What I Meant focus heavily on communication styles, metamessages, and the devices, signals, and strategies used in conversation. The book also delves deeper into the explanations of these conversational mechanisms, examples of where issues commonly arise in communication, and reasoning behind why we communicate the way that we do. The author Deborah Tannen details how these aspects of communication can make or break certain situations. She also explains that these are common problems, and within the preface and first four chapters there are multiple instances of people telling Tannen that she’d helped them to recognize certain communication failures and make positive changes.

The pillow method in interpersonal communication is a situation that has four sides to it and to the approaches that can be given to that particular situation. Here, there is no single definite correct answer, but each of the four views that can be given, as will be discussed herein, is correct. The four approaches are normally I'm Right, You are Wrong, then You are Right, I'm Wrong, then Both Right, Both Wrong and finally It Isn't Important Which Position is Right or Wrong. This indicates the complexity behind interpersonal communication and how a simple conflict in communication or situation can take widely varied angles.

To support my arguments in this essay, I will be using and exploring Kaye (2014; various dates) literature on some parts of the Matryoushka or Russian Doll Analogy related to adult communication management competence. To help in fully comprehending and understanding the layers of communication and how that may have influenced the outcome of our conversation. According to Kaye (2014, pp. 84-85) communication is a key factor in accessing an individual’s current levels of communication management, competence levels, and how this can bring out the desired change and outcomes the way we communicate and relate to one another. Additionally, this essay requires me to use critical reflections, thus I will also be exploring the Situation, Affect, Interpretation, Decision (SAID) approach as a guide and tool in my reflection of the communication with my second cousin (Hogan, 1995, pp. 4-17). Using this approach will enable me to have a clear and effective critical reflection of our conversation

There are a lot of barriers that existence within human nature. The most profound barrier that exists is the language barrier. As human, we are met to communicate with one another. Without communication, there is simply no connection. A language barrier draws imagery line between people to make them feel distant on a deeper level. The frustration rushes through one’s brain when he or she realizes that they have a mouth but cannot utilize it to get their point across. There is a great deal of frustration to be misunderstood due to the restraint and limitation the knowing words and of trying to piece these words together to properly express oneself. In this paper, I will explain the effect and frustration of boundaries between people and how there are ways to try to get rid of that profound barrier.

Interpersonal conflicts are inevitable. Different texts suggest not how to avoid conflict, but rather how to effectively communicate when involved in one. However, the “rules” of constructive communication can completely change in conflicts between people in long-term, interdependent relationships. This paper will focus on analyzing a conversation between a mother and her adult son, while applying ideas from William Wilmot and Joyce Hocker’s Interpersonal Conflict, Deborah Tannen’s I Only Say This Because I Love You, and the “Conflict Styles” lecture.

“The fact that we have been communicating all of our lives does not mean that we do it well”. (Sole, 2011).

When verbal communication and body language is misunderstood, the conflict must be confronted, discussed and a change must be made or an explanation given. Accommodating to meet the needs of promotes harmony and gains credits that can be used at a later date.

The acclaimed book Crucial Conversations discusses the intricacies of communication and analyzes the potential reasons for dialog deterioration in a group setting. The authors emphasize the importance of making people feel safe to exchange ideas and the techniques to restore balance when safety is threatened. This book, although unique in its views, has its roots embedded in proven psychological theories by James-Lang and Cannon-Bard, which state that emotions cause physiological arousal that stimulates emotional brain activity but reduces the ability for cognitive reasoning (Passer & Smith, 2007, p. 384-386).

Communication skills are important in professional negotiations and in personal life. This book discusses why we find some dialogue difficult, why we avoid it, and why we often address it ineffectively. Most important, the authors suggest methods for more effective, productive, and rewarding, interaction.

According to the text the “what happened conversation” is where most difficult conversation develop from, which is the heart of what is going wrong between individuals. They may agree on the basic facts but have different interpretations of what it means. We often play the blame game where we think they are to blame and they think we are to blame. To defuse the situation the authors suggest adopting the “And Stance,” which acknowledges that both parties have different views on the situation but both views matter.

The crucial thing to resolve issues with inappropriate interpersonal communication and prevent the negative outcome is to keep an open mind and stay focused. Active listening will allow recognising the speaker’s attitude and understanding his /her point of view. The response should contain empathy and be deprived of any bias or prejudice. In case of major difficulties in trying to resolve the issue, it is recommended to get an advice from a higher source. Various different technics have been proposed and developed to overcome communication barriers such as SOLER technique, British Sign Language, or simply using diagrams and pictures.

In the 21st century our communication mediums have changed, know we Whats App Facebook or email rather than calling or visiting in person. What hasn 't changed is that when we communicate most of the time another human being is on the other end and. This chapter will discuss not only how to communicate with diplomacy but how messages of communication are interpreted. In the workplace communication is probably one of the most important factors as people need to receive clearly communicated messages to be on the right track. It could be that you need to so some public speaking at the workplace and not only is your confidence being shook up, your nerves are on edge worrying how to communicate you message. Not only how we communicate with others that impacts our success what’s also a key part is how we communicate with ourselves and overcome internal negative dialogue. Did you know that only 8% of our communication is based on the words we say? Also did you know that 37% of our communication is based on our tone of voice? Did you know that the remaining 55% comes from our facial expressions and body language? If you find this hard to believe just think of when someone says something to you and they come across as rude. More often than not it was the way they said it vs the actual words they said. When communication is open and employees are connected

Throughout the semester, we have studied numerous communication theories. Their purpose is to help understand exactly what happens when we interact with others. We might not necessarily agree with all of the theories, but the idea is to develop tools to evaluate situations we may encounter. Often, when the theories are explained in the readings or lecture, it is beneficial to apply the concepts to a "real life" situation. Using this approach, I will use a situation that many of us have faced, or will face, and analyze it according to a particular communication theory.

In the world of communication, there are many theories which describe different ways people communicate. According to Doctor Thomas Hanitzsch, an associate professor of communication at the University of Munich in Germany, “Communication Theory is an international forum publishing high quality, original research into the theoretical development of communication from across a wide array of disciplines” (“Communication Theory”). A specific communication theory that will be highlighted is the Face-Negotiation theory developed by Stella Ting-Toomey. Simply stated, Dr. Ting-Toomey suggests that conflict is a consequence of identity management on an individual and cultural level, and occurs when an individual or group’s face is threatened.

As a physical therapy student, many peers have asked why I chose to minor in psychology rather than taking a simple course in human performance and fitness or biology. Taking this course, I am confident in my minor decision and realize the importance of mastering and utilizing effective communication, genuine listening, and authentic presence, especially in a physical therapy setting. Several counseling theories were presented over the course of the semester looking at their basic philosophies, the relationship between client and therapist, and key components to effective treatment. There were three theories in particular, Adlerian therapy, existential therapy, and rational emotive behavior therapy, which I found to really resonate with my beliefs, values, and experiences. By integrating these three theories together, using the common factors approach, I was able to identify similar core beliefs and principles in each to create my final theory of change.