Influential Fathers

Cookston, Jeffrey. "Six Obstacles to Father Involvement-and How to Overcome Them." Greater Good. N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Nov. 2015. .

Okonkwo life is “dominated by fear, the fear of failure and of weakness” (Achebe 13). When Okonkwo was a boy, his playmates teased him calling, saying that his father was agbala. Okonkwo’s father, Unoka, was lazy. He did not work on his farm; he died in great debt. He did not acquire a single title. He did not have a barn to pass down to his son. Unoka is a type of man who is scorned in Umofia. He is seen as weak and effeminate. As Okonkwo grows older, he is determined not become a failure like his father. His father was weak; he will be strong. His father was lazy; he will be hard-working. Okonkwo earned his fame by defeating the reigning wrestling champion. Okonkwo diligently plants yam, building a successful farm. He builds himself an obi, has three wives and many children. His fame “rested on solid personal achievements” (Achebe 3). Okonkwo will not let one womanly trait sully his reputation. Therefore, he “hate[d] everything that his father Unoka had loved” (Achebe 13). One of these was gentleness. Okonkwo refuses to show any signs of emotion, except his temper. He

The article “The Distinct, Positive Impact of a Good Dad” focuses a lot on the basic impact of how much of an influence a dad is to a child’s life. It explains the difference between how the father impacts the child’s life in a more “open arms” way whereas, a mother has a more “closed arms” impact. Having a good dad around in a child’s life is more likely to make for a better future for the kid, compared to a child who doesn’t have a good dad in their life or little to no dad at all they have a less likely chance for a better future as studies have shown. Studies have shown that mental health is a huge issue with both genders when they have a strong relationship with their father as to being in a household with a

The role of the father, a male figure in a child’s life is a very crucial role that has been diminishing over the years. An absent father can be defined in two ways; the father is physically not present, or the father is physically present, but emotionally present. To an adolescent, a father is an idolized figure, someone they look up to (Feud, 1921), thus when such a figure is an absent one, it can and will negatively affect a child’s development. Many of the problems we face in society today, such as crime and delinquency, poor academic achievement, divorce, drug use, early pregnancy and sexual activity can be attributed to fathers being absent during adolescent development (Popenoe, 1996; Whitehead, 1993). The percentage of

Unoka is Okonkwo’s father, he is a very lazy man and has amassed many debts. Okonkwo is very ashamed of Unoka and seems to hate him very much. Achebe states

A father-child relationship can be a good thing for some people, and problematic for others. There are different types of fathers. There are fathers who are always around their children, who give unconditional love and guidance. Then there are hard-to-please fathers who drain their children with extremely high expectations, leading to a strained relationship. Moreover, there are fathers who cannot handle the responsibilities that come with fatherhood, this type of fathers walk out on the family when the situation gets tough. Many people see their fathers in one way as a child and grow to see them in a whole different light as adults. The richness and complexity of the child and father relationship are the reason many poets write about fatherhood and fathers.

Some scholars have argued the notion that fathers are important contributors to their children and adolescents’ psychosocial development (Mandara, Murray, & Joyner, 2005). According to Allgood, Beckert, and Peterson (2012), researchers are beginning to understand the importance of examining children’s perspectives and the relationships and levels of involvement children have with their fathers.

The estranged relationships between father and son tend to start from lack of communication. Fathers express their love through actions rather than words. When conflicts occur, they are unlikely to explain themselves, which leads to greater complications. In addition, fathers are often absent in the child’s youth for reasons such as work. However, absent fathers can have great influence on the child.

Okonkwo is initially introduced as a proud, hardworking, successful warrior. He is described as "clearly cut out for great things" (6). But he is the son of a ne'er-do-well father; though genial and inoffensive, Unoka must certainly have been considered a failure. He is lazy and does not provide for his family. Not only is this disgraceful, but life-threatening as well. He is dependent on other members of the clan and must have been considered unsuccessful. Okonkwo chafes under such disgrace and his success is a consequence of his desire to be everything his father is not; society's vision of an exemplar citizen. The fact that Okonkwo is able to rise above his poverty and disgraceful paternity illustrates the Igbo's acceptance of individual free will. But Okonkwo's fate and his disharmony with his chi, family and clan are shown to cause his ultimate disgrace and death.

Determination is one of Okonkwo's most outstanding characteristics. Because of his undying obsession to be unlike his father, Okonkwo is determined to be exactly what is father is not. Since childhood, Okonkwo has been ashamed of his father, because according to the clansmen Okonkwo's father did not meet the standards that the men of that time should have met. Unoka, Okonkwo's father, never had a real job/title. He didn't become a warrior because he hated the sight of blood, which according to their society made him a coward. He often borrowed money from the clan, and hardly repaid them the loan. However, he was not a complete waste of a person, he was talented in music and conversation, and was also thought to be a gentle person. As we see in the novel, Okonkwo was very much the opposite of his father. He had a job/title, he had a large family, he was a warrior, and he never needed to borrow excessive amounts of money from the clan. All of Unoka's Characteristics, even the good ones, Okonkwo didn't want to possess them. It was his ignorance along with his flaw that led him to his ultimate fall.

Since the time of Adam and Eve, parents have played a major role in upbringing children and reproducing more generations. In most societies, the father has been the backbone of the family and played a major role in providing support and stability to the family. Yet, the role of the father differs from a family to another. While some fathers focus only on feeding and educating their children, others focus on every aspect of their children’s lives. The father’s leadership often drives the children to have a close relationship with the father. Sons often see the father as their role model and build a father-son relationship. Yet, the father-son relationship can be either weak or strong depends on the father’s concept of parenthood. The

A father and son relationship is very important. It is the foundation for boys to become men. The article, “Why the Father Wound Matter: Consequences for Male Mental Health and the Father-Son Relationship”, by Eric D. Miller explains the concept of a father wound that can manifest in males due to a father neglecting or abusing them. Miller stresses that by becoming fathers’, men can overcome father wounds. He touches upon the idea of masculinity, and how it can be a factor to why there is sometimes a distant relationship between a father and a son. The “A Father’s Call: Father-Son Relationship Survival of Critical Life Transitions”, by Ivory Achebe Toldson and Ivory Lee Toldson explains the relationship between a father and a son from adolescent into adulthood. Lee who was the father describes his struggles through a divorce and how he stayed connected to his son no matter what occurred. Lee’s son Achehbe is also featured in the article and expresses the rough childhood he went through without his father being directly in his life. Together these two articles show that a father is essential to the raising of a boy because without one many form father wounds along with emotional problems.

Most mothers and fathers love their kids with all their heart. As a child begins to age, parents begin to influence their kids and will mold them as they mature. However, parents without much care for their kids will leave a long-term effect on their children and in this study, the main impact is the father.

To me the relationship of a father and son is a deep bond that two beings can have. From a young child’s point of view, his father is his main male role model. As a result, many children when young may want to be like their fathers when they grow up. Although this may change as children grow up and are introduced to new ideas and try to figure out who they are, this is where the father is either understanding of his son’s choices or against them. As young adults, we don’t like to be told what to do or be criticized for our choices, so if we find solace in someone else who understands us and does not judge us, we view that person more highly almost fatherly, but though you view that person highly you know that he cannot take the place of your blood father.

Okonkwo’s father, Unoka, was the opposite person that Okonkwo wants to be. He was poor, only had one wife, had no titles, and hated fighting. By being born into Unoka's home Okonkwo had to start completely from scratch: “Okonkwo did not have the start in life which many young