Intensive Child Rearing Ideology

The chapter so far has shown what is conventionally considered ‘good mothering’, according to the models perpetuated by psychological theories and the prevailing social custom and practice.

Every mother has their own way on how to raise their child. After reading the three different stories “I Stand Here Ironing” by Tillie Olsen, “Two Kinds” by Amy Tan, and “Everyday Use” by Alice Walker I can see how each of these mothers show a different model of parenting. Each story is also created on different time periods, and different cultures in which I believe may have an effect on their parenting. Something they may have in common is that they are all trying to do what they believe is best for their daughters.

The patriarchal institution of motherhood, exploits the tenets of the intensive mothering ideology, to conform mothers into the ideal consumer to further benefit the economy and the capitalist state. In contemporary society, the fear of being labeled a ‘bad’ mother has driven mothers to strive for unrealistic goals which reinforce the ideology of intensive mothering. Sharon Hays definition of intensive mothering helps define the qualities that must be attained to be a good mother. In Hays definition, intensive mothering is, “an ideology that requires mothers to take primary responsibility for their children and as a form of childrearing that is child- centered, expert-guided, emotionally absorbing, labour intensive and financially

It was in 1951 that John Bowlby began to write about the opposing influence on development of insufficient parental care and called attention to the acute distress of young children separated from their primary caregivers. (Barth, 2005) The quality of early attachment relationships is correlated with future personality and brain development. “The Attachment Theory is a foundation theory, developed by Bowlby. It focusses on the form, quality, and strengths of human attachments made in early life and their effects on development in pro social behaviors” (Tuner, 2011, p.30). Practitioners have found that the importance of forming a bond with a child from birth has the possibility to shape the life of a person.

Parenting styles are often discussed yet rarely understood by many people. Previous parenting styles are unacceptable and harmful for children. For instance, in 70’s and 80’s during my generation, children are being disciplined through spanking, standing in the corner, slapping of hand just to name a few. In this essay I will focus and discuss on the parenting styles of each parent from the story “Sunday in the Park” and a film entitled “Meet the Fockers”. Parents are always there to love their children, protect them from harm and danger, raised their children to become a responsible citizen and to show respect to all mankind.

There is an issue within this scenario that involves respecting diverse child rearing practices. Student teacher Maryam politely asks Hugh and Ahmed to pack up, but Di pulls her aside and lets her know that Ahmed’s cultural practices does not expect him to do so. This becomes an ethical dilemma because Di has implanted a policy that benefits the cultural practices of a single client, while another client’s child suffers from unfair treatment. In the perspective of Di, she focuses more on her teaching profession and integrating the core values of a teacher into her policy (Newman & Pollnitz, 2005). However, In Maryam’s perspective, her personal and professional values come in conflict along with the code of conduct that is put in place by the

Child rearing Styles identify with the training in which guardians bring up their kids, which exhibits the guardians' levels of desire, accomplishment requests, regard for rules, and so forth., and also the style of instructing, preparing and teach that the guardians use to accomplish their desires.

The most successful child-rearing practice is the authoritative style. This particular style involves warm, caring, attentive and patient parenting. Parents are also perceptive to their child’s needs. All these characteristics allow for a close bond with their child. In addition, they permit gradual autonomy by allowing their children to make decisions once they show signs readiness. Parents who use this style offer encouragement to express how they feel and think without judgement. If disagreements occur, parents involve them in joint-decision making. Parents place reasonable demands on their child, but at the same time offer explanations as to why they are enforced. Because of this, children are normally more compliant.

Margaretha Schurz, a German immigrant who studied under Froebel, reproduced the first American kindergarten in the United States in 1855, in her home (O’Conner, 1995). Mrs. Schurz encouraged other women to follow the curriculum which was not only based on child-rearing practices but centered on the whole-child, including their spiritual, physical, and moral development (Froebel, 1974). Thus the movement began because this new working-class woman wanting more for their toddlers than just daycare supervision. Out of charity for the working women who could not stay home to raise their children, privately run Frobelian kindergartens became more commonplace (O’Conner, 1995). Today kindergarten, with the unified starting age of five, has

My main point is that both of the parents cannot be off hunting for their food or in today’s world, we call it working, someone needs to stay home and raise and tend to the kids. Now, it does not matter who stays home and raises the kids it could be the female or the male, I just used the prehistoric pattern of raising offspring. I know the saying it takes a village to raise kids and this may be beneficial if extended family partake in the child rearing. However, I do not think ordinary day cares workers should not be the ones looking after our children. They are not qualified for such a task, nor are they motivated to do what is best for the child, only the extended family would be truly motivated for what is best for the child.

A) Hunter-gatherer/food forager is a lifestyle where people lived by foraging or killing wild animals and collecting fruits, eggs, nuts, roots and berries for food while farming were those that depend on agricultural practices for survival. They relied on their wits and muscles to acquire what nature provided (page 103). Food forager avoids food production simply because of the hard work it involves. They tend to have more time for play and relaxation than food producers (page 107). On the other hand city dweller/food producer/gardener works longer hours compared to most food foragers. They have deprived themselves of more and more of the land base necessary for their way of life, foraging has become more difficult. The competition for resources

Authoritarian child rearing is amazingly strict, with various standards and merciless results for something other than completion quiet submission.

The Article studies the correlation between the types of attachment and the parenting styles that are linked to them. The attachment between the child and the primary caregiver becomes a basis for all future relationships throughout adulthood. This is called the ‘working model’ and it dictates our future behavior in peer relationships, romantic relationships and more especially our chosen parenting styles.

As a babysitter, I have never seen any set of parents who raise their kids the same way. Every couple is going to discipline and raise their children differently. This is why child rearing is such an interesting process. There are so many ways to raise a kid and each way might have the same or completely different outcomes. I interviewed Jennifer Stein and asked her about her disciplining practices and she explained to me how she believes it is important to make sure the child is aware of the exact thing they did wrong and that they reflect on it and apologize. When her daughter (Allison) was a baby Jennifer would discipline her child from biting her by stopping feeding her. If her daughter pinched her she would set her down to teach her if

Experimental data suggest that the past experiences of the mother are a major determinant in molding her care-giving role. Children use adults, especially loved and powerful adults, as models for their own behaviour. Children development literature, states that the powerful process of imitation or modelling socially inclines children. Kennell and Klaus explain that unless adults consciously and painstakingly reexamine these learned behaviours, they will unconsciously repeat them when they become parents (Kennell and Klaus 11). Thus the way a woman was raised, which includes the practices of her culture and the individual idiosyncrasies of her own mother's child raising practices greatly influences her behaviour toward her own infant. Bob Brazelton in The Early Mother-Infant Adjustment says that, "It may seem to many that attachment to a small baby will come naturally and to make too much of it could be a mistake... but there are many, many women who have a difficult time making this adjustment...(Brazelton 10). He points out that we must understand the ingredients of attachment in order to help, because each mother-child dyad is unique and has individual needs of it's own (Brazelton 12).