Interpersonal Assertiveness

How many interpersonal conflicts have you been in today, this week, or even this month? Do you even know which conflict styles you normally use when faced with a disagreement? Furthermore, this analysis shall reflect on my particular conflict styles, with an in-depth look at possible benefits of knowing the conflict styles I tend to incorporate, and how behaviors change based on a relationship and the environment.

One of the first conflicts in the film causes a bigger conflict in later years and later in the plot between the same characters. A conflict is defined as "Conflict is a fact of human life. It occurs naturally in all kinds of settings. Nations still struggle, families fracture in destructive conflicts, marriages face challenges and often fail, and the workplace is plagued with stress." in the textbook "Interpersonal Conflict" by Wilmot. Meriam-Webster defines conflict in three ways. Firstly a war, fight or battle. Secondly "competitive or opposing action of incompatibles :antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons)" or "mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands". Lastly "the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the

At the core of all conflict analysis is perception (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). In interpersonal conflicts, people react as though there are genuinely different goals, there is not enough of some resource, and the other person actually is getting in the way of something prized by the perceiver (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011).

Hocker, J. and Wilmot, W. (2014). Interpersonal conflict (9thed). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Behavioral scientists Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann, who developed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, have identified five styles to responding to conflict—competition, collaboration, compromise,

Leaders are some of the most influential individuals in any society. They have the ability to influence those around them with various leadership styles including coercive, authoritative, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and coaching. Effective leaders consistently adapt to the environment around them to either enhance or correct any situation facing them. Within these leadership styles the most effective style has been considered that of the authoritative style. This style brings individuals together, builds self-confidence, and easily adapts to the environment around it.

Assertive— people develop positive relationships with others, as they will try to consider other viewpoints as well as presenting their own viewpoint in a clear way. This can lead to better self-image and reduced stress.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) was originally developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann in 1974 (Kilmann, 2013). The TKI assesses a person’s behavior when they are confronted with a conflict situation. For their work Thomas & Kilmann define conflict as any situation when the concerns of two people appear to be incompatible (Thomas & Kilmann, 1974). According to the TKI when a person is in a conflict situation their behavior will go along two dimensions. The first dimension, on the y axis, is assertiveness, a person’s attempt to

In Interpersonal Conflict, Wilmot and Hocker reference Rahim’s (2011) model of five different conflict styles: obliging, avoiding,

The topic of leadership evokes curiosity about our leaders and their approaches in decision making, leadership styles and the effectiveness of their leadership. At time leaders are critiqued for their actions or views on different business affairs. In today’s working environment leaders set the tone, vision, and goals of any organization. Leadership has a huge impact on the culture of an organization and how people communicate within the organization (Northouse, 2009). The actions of leaders should inspire and positively impact their followers. The approach of leaders in handling adversities highlights many features of their character.

There are four distinct conflict styles which are the levels of assertiveness and cooperativeness that are employed by a person in a conflict situation. Everyone has their own individual conflict style; my own style tends to be accommodating. This means that I am not very assertive and I am very good at cooperating with those I am in conflict with. In this essay I will examine each conflict style and my own choice of style and why I tend to default to this style. I will also examine whether or not my choice of the accommodating style is the best approach to resolving conflict, and discuss the advantages of learning to use each of the styles in specific situations.

The desire to satisfy the concerns of others, which shows itself in non-assertive behavior. These represent two behavioral dimensions and provide the basis for conflict-handling modes.

Bova (2008) states that the following four characteristics are found in good leaders: they believe in open communication, they do not stick with the status quo, they are selective in what they measure, and they have passion for values and culture. Each characteristic is essential to a healthy organizational culture. When an employee feels he or she has open communication with a leader, they are more inclined to share if problems arise whether or not work related. Non-work related issues may eventually take a toll on an employee’s performance at work. However, with open communication, an employee feels comfortable in apprising the leader of a situation so that future problems are avoided.

Interpersonal conflict is described as “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference in the achievement of their goals (Beebe 221). As with many other things, people have developed some myths about it. One of the interpersonal conflict myths is that it indicates a relationship of poor quality. This is, however, incorrect because the conflict can instead demonstrate the complete opposite. An example would be when a couple is arguing about what to eat for dinner. Such a disagreement can show that there is a supportive environment between the two of them. Both people feel comfortable enough to voice their differing opinions without the fear of being negatively

For decade’s individuals, companies, and organizations have spent an unprecedented amount of money on researching, molding, modeling and working to define what a leader is and what characteristics make successful leaders. Despite all the research, there is not a quick answer or even full agreement as to what makes an individual an effective leader. The definition of a leader is “someone who can influence others and who has managerial authority.” (Robbins, Decenzo, Coulter, 2015. P.370)