Interpersonal Conflict Myths

Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of everyday lives. It can happen to anyone, from your friends to your family.

How many interpersonal conflicts have you been in today, this week, or even this month? Do you even know which conflict styles you normally use when faced with a disagreement? Furthermore, this analysis shall reflect on my particular conflict styles, with an in-depth look at possible benefits of knowing the conflict styles I tend to incorporate, and how behaviors change based on a relationship and the environment.

Interpersonal conflict happens in every relationship. It is inevitable when two or more people disagree on something. Conflict is a result of a misunderstanding because of a miscommunication. In the movie Hitch (Mordaunt & Tadross, 2005) we can notice an interpersonal conflict between two people due to a lack of communication. Communication is a key role in any relationship, whether platonic or an intimate relationship. When starting a relationship it is primordial to be able to communicate effectively from the beginning in order to avoid any conflict. However “people are usually cautious about what they tell each other and how they say it, and they make a conscious effort to present positive

One of the first conflicts in the film causes a bigger conflict in later years and later in the plot between the same characters. A conflict is defined as "Conflict is a fact of human life. It occurs naturally in all kinds of settings. Nations still struggle, families fracture in destructive conflicts, marriages face challenges and often fail, and the workplace is plagued with stress." in the textbook "Interpersonal Conflict" by Wilmot. Meriam-Webster defines conflict in three ways. Firstly a war, fight or battle. Secondly "competitive or opposing action of incompatibles :antagonistic state or action (as of divergent ideas, interests, or persons)" or "mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes, or external or internal demands". Lastly "the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the

At the core of all conflict analysis is perception (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). In interpersonal conflicts, people react as though there are genuinely different goals, there is not enough of some resource, and the other person actually is getting in the way of something prized by the perceiver (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011).

Hocker, J. and Wilmot, W. (2014). Interpersonal conflict (9thed). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

The movie “Temptation” is an example of interpersonal conflict. The movie is filled with different conflicts types mostly associated with miscommunication between two or more of the main characters. The genesis of interpersonal conflict is always inevitable where there is some level of relationship between individuals or groups who interact with each other in different social and professional settings. According to Sole, “The way in which each person deals with Conflict varies based on experience, personality and communication style. Often we do not know how we will deal with a particular circumstance until it occurs (Sole, 2011).

Interpersonal conflict can be broadly defined as a disagreement between two interdependent people who think that they have conflicting goals. For example, the dinner scene at the beginning of the movie with Cher, Josh, and Cher’s father. Josh is known as a very studious, college student that is studying law. Josh believes that Cher doesn’t care about her studies and just bribes her teachers in order to get by. At one point during the dinner, Cher calls Josh a “brown-noser.” Josh comes back to say, “You are such a superficial space cadet. What makes you think you can convince your teachers to change your grades?” Cher then says, “Only the fact that I’ve done it every other semester.” Obviously, there is some interpersonal conflict here because they both have different views of how to get by in school.

What is conflict? Even something as basic as a universal definition for the word conflict seems to vary from source to source. A literature review focusing on conflict defined it as “the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatibility and the possibility of interference from others as a result of this incompatibility” (Brinkert 2010). Often times the disagreement results not from a concrete difference, but rather a difference in perception (Ellis & Abbott 2012). One of the most important factors effecting conflict management is the resolution style used. The most often used tool for classifying how conflict is managed is the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (Iglesias & Vallejo 2012).

Learning to communicate efficiently and manage conflict successfully is challenging. Gaining cooperation between people is complex and mentally demanding. Communication ways and conflict styles are deeply woven into our personalities. Conflict is the expressed struggle of interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, interference from the other party in achieving those goals, and the perception of scarce resources. Perceptions are just as important as reality in regards to conflict. As stated in the text, “we encounter conflict as we compete for acceptance, love, recognition, position, power, success, and many other goals. Judgments of the quality of

We blame ourselves, and then we start to question our likability, and we wonder why we don't have that fantasy group of friends that everybody else in the world must have. Conflict is a process in which people disagree over significant issues, thereby creating friction (Lulofs & Cahn, 2000). This is not a simple occurrence, but there needs to be various factors included for it to be considered a conflict. Both parties must have opposing interests, thoughts, perceptions, and feelings, and they must then recognize the existence of different points of view (Lulofs & Cahn, 2000). In addition, the disagreement is not just a one time event but something that continuously occurs. Though it can be destructive it can also be beneficial, for example a relationship with little to no conflict leads to complacency but a relationship with too much conflict can lead to dysfunctional behaviors by both

Conflict is “an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals” (Hocker, 1991). There are two basic types of conflicts: substantive and emotional. According to Schermerhorn et.al., substantive conflict is a fundamental disagreement over ends or goals to be pursued and the means for their

There are numerous entities and situations that can be avoided throughout the durations of one’s life, but there are a few things that cannot be escaped being a United States citizen; and that’s taxes and conflict. It’s hard to go a single day without running into some form of conflict, whether it be constructive, or destructive conflict. For me, conflict has always seemed to either go really good, or take a turn for the worst. Over the past few months I’ve attempted to work on some of my strategies to better deal with my day-to-day interpersonal conflicts, so I get in the rhythm of trying to successfully complete an altercation. With that being said, I would like to discuss a conflict that was both relational and organizational. This conflict

Harriet B. Braiker once said, “Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is *not* the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.”

Conflict is defined as the perception of incompatible goals or actions between two people (McCornack, 2013). How you approach these tense situations greatly affects the outcome of the conflict and your interpersonal relationships. Everyone experiences disagreement at some point in their lives and it is important to know what you bring to conflict situations in order to become a more competent communicator. Therefore, I completed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Questionnaire and asked my sister and boyfriend to do the same regarding my conflict style (Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Course Workbook, 2013, p.29-31). I chose these two people to fill out the questionnaire because they both know me very well in two different types