Interpersonal Relationships

A day in the life of a veterinary technician may include answering clients’ questions, providing written or verbal instructions regarding care of an animal, answering the telephone,

“Men and women can't be friends, because sex always gets in the way”, is the main theme of the movie “When Harry met Sally”. The script is a good example of the interpersonal communication ten stage model by Mark Knapp. This developmental model entails the stages of a relationship from it’s infancy to an ending. In the movie we can clearly identify all ten stages of this model.

The first stage of the Social Penetration Process is the orientation stage which occurs at a public level, revealing small parts about ourselves. Rose and Jack enter this stage when Jack sees Rose standing at the edge of the boat. He approached her for the first time and talked her out of committing suicide. The only interaction they have at this stage is an introduction. The next day, Rose finds Jack and thanks him for helping her. While talking they seem to disclose more and more information about each other. They now enter the exploratory stage. They now expand to public areas about themselves about their hobbies and personal situations. Jack and Rose were quite comfortable with each other and entered the third stage of the process; the affective exchange stage. Social penetration in this stage is spontaneous and comfortable. They begin to show reciprocity, which is when one person’s openness leads to the others openness. Jack does this by asking if she loves her fiancé, a very personal question. It seems as if the more they disclose about each other, the more they like each other, and the more they seem to have in common. This leads Jack and Rose into the stable exchange stage which pertains to complete openness and spontaneous. At this point in the movie it is evident that both Jack and Rose have feelings for each other.

Interpersonal relationships are the close relationships we form with others around us. They range from close romantic relationships up to more casual relationships such as acquaintances or university peers. There are numerous numbers of social factors that may lead to interpersonal attraction such as proximity, physical attractiveness, similarity and reciprocity. There are also numerous theories into attraction and how humans form interpersonal relationships.

The first stages are contact where individuals exchange basic information and decide if the relationship is worth pursuing. In the movie the audience can see this stage when Gary starts conversation with Brooke in the game of baseball. He offers to Brooke a hot dog, but she does not accept it. Gary insists offering the bread and she does not interest in Gary. After the game, Gary invites her to a bar, but Brooke refuses one more time to him. Gary insists saying that maybe a conversation can change their lives, and then Brooke accepts the invitation. At this moment, the audience can appreciate the second stage of relationships: involvement. They will spend more time together allowing an intensification of the relationship, knowing, and learning of each other. The third stage is intimacy. It is when two people accept each other and confirm their roles. The interpersonal commitment is demonstrated in the movie when several Gary and Brooke’s pictures are played showing them kissing and holding their hands. In addition, they show their social bonding which is more in public when the Brooke’s family comes to eat at home. The principal characters show to others that they are a partner and the family can see that. The next stage

In Knapp’s Stages of Relational Development, he explains how relationships grow and last and not only that, but how they end as well. There are ten different stages involved in this particular relationship development; in the first stage, also known as the coming together stage, there are five different key parts which are initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating and bonding. In the other stage, also known as the coming apart stage, there are also five different key parts such as differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding and terminating. There is also a central unit in the middle known as the relational maintenance stage which involves key components from both the coming together stage and the coming apart stage which are integrating, boding, differentiating and circumscribing.

It is often said that all good things come to an end. Relationships come and go, and some mean more than others. In fact, there was even a relationship model developed by a communication researcher by the name of Mark Knapp. In his model, he goes through what seems to be presented as a smooth step transition from each stage in which a relationship eventually evolves into. As I studied this up then down ladder model, I began to realize that I ought to build up some strong calf muscles, because my relationship sure has climbed up and down a few flights of stairs. Mark Knapp believes that relationships go through multiple stages, the uphill stages being initiation, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding, then relational maintenance. On the flip side, Knapp believes the descending stages to be differentiating, circumscribing, avoiding, and eventually, termination.

* Body Paragraph #3 - Differentiate appropriate levels of self-disclosure and emotional intelligence in various relationships.

Although many books have been written about communication and connection in relationships, there has been a book that addresses precisely this wonderful process as has James C. Petersen in his book: Why Don’t We Listen Better? And it is precisely the way in which the parts he divided the book that takes the reader to a better understanding of what the personal relationships connections through communications are concerned.

Just as self concept seemed a vicious circle, where this affects that and that effects this; relational development is the same. Relational development can alter our lives and our communication, while communication issues can alter our relational development and our lives. The relational perspective is a pragmatic one and focuses on the continuance of communication processes through relationships. (Rogers, 2004.) Relationships go through a series of stages. The initial and first encounter to a relationship is called the initiating stage. While in this stage, two people attempt to create favorably impressionable first impressions. In this stage you will look for cues about the other person’s personality, attitude, beliefs, and values so that you can progress the relationship. If the relationship continues and impressions are favorable than the two people move to the second stage, also known as the experimenting stage. In this stage people reveal themselves further but not completely since the stage is still a precarious one. If a common ground and understanding of each other is obtained then the relationship moves to the next stage, the intensifying stage. In this stage shared experiences becomes common and self disclosure is open. The next stage is the integrating stage, this is where the individuals usually become a couple. They have shared interests and attitudes, and sometimes talk or act alike. The other individual becomes like your other half. If things go awry than relationships often shift to the circumscribing stage. This is when couples start to self disclose less and less to the other person. Then comes the stagnating stage. At this point there is no communication and no activity between the two people. Sometimes there is an

Lastly the third stage is called the intensifying stage, during which the relationship becomes less formal. The two people involved will start to reveal their personal information and analyze each other’s personal impression. Most of the time the two will find ways to strengthen the interpersonal development, such as gifts, hanging out more often and expecting a commitment within the relationship. The last two stages of the coming together part of the model are called integration and bonding. During the integration stage the two people come closer and can fall in love or create a closer friendship. Lastly there is the bonding stage during which the two will announce their relationship to everyone, this is the point where the relationship is indefinite.

Communication is the process of gathering meaning from the world around us and using verbal and non-verbal messages to share this meaning with others. (Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond, 2005) More specifically, interpersonal communication can be defined as; “a distinctive, transactual form of human communication involving mutual influence, usually for the purpose of managing relation ships.” (Beebe, Beebe, and Redmond, 2005, p. 6) Interpersonal communication is extremely complex and encompasses many different themes and issues that affect many aspects of our daily lives. These

Theory explains why as relationships develop, communication moves from less intimate levels to more intimate, more personal levels.

The four stages Sampling, Bargaining, Commitment and Institutionalisation describe how a relationship forms and settles. The theory is predominantly behaviourist and assumes that humans operate as rational beings making decisions based on costs and benefits and that their decision making is motivated by the desire to get basic individual needs met.

Everyone goes through situations in which they form new relationships with people they previously did not know. For example, when a student moves onto a college campus for his or her freshman year, the student will have to go through the process of making new friends and getting to know his or her roommate. The social penetration theory of communication explains how new relationships form and the levels a relationship must go through before it can be described as being friends.