Invisible Social Rules: Girl Code-- The Rules of Female Interaction

Spradley and Mann chose to do their research at Brady’s bar because it is an ordinary setting where they could study interactions between male and female. First, Brady’s Bar provided a setting to define the female role. Secondly, it is a place where both male and female interactions are important and reflect traditional aspects of larger society. Lastly, the traditional aspects of Brady’s signified the traditional view of how women should present themselves as passive sex objects whose status is of lower hierarchy than men.

In the video lecture presented by Deborah Tannen, He Said, She Said, Tannen emphasizes that men and women grow up in very different social worlds. When boys grow up, they learn that there is often going to be an inequality of force in any conversation. For girls, however, they feel that equality is very important and that it needs to be enforced through sympathy-based bonding. As adults, these different messages behind socialization can often lead to confusion, miscommunication, and, sometimes, hurt feelings. Tannen explores the difficulties of cross-gender communication and how we can overcome them by understanding where these conversational rituals come from. As a reflection on Tannen’s lecture, this paper will analyze how the different developments of boys and girls lead to the different views men and women have on the world. First of all, childhood and friendship is perceived differently by each gender.

To start off with, the girl code is what makes a girl “lady-like”. In this set of rules, they are expected to know how to do housework, how to cook, and bluntly, how to not become a “slut”. In Jamaica Kindcaid’s Girl the mother of a young girl strongly urges her

In return, complexes, such as masculinity or femininity, become prisons, entrapping those inside and thus causing them to police their own thoughts and actions in fear of “falling short of essential ideals” (Gay 172). Society embraces this polarity and creates a divide between male and female, looking down upon any ambiguity between the two.

Our gender has an effect on every aspect of our lives, varying from how we view ourselves and other people to how we interact in social and civic life. It also impacts the way we set our goals in opportunity areas such as education, work, and recreation. Gender socialization starts at birth then manifests through family, education, peer groups, and mass media. Gender norms are automatically placed on us, where women should learn how to be nurturing, sensitive, emotional, passive, and always hold a man’s position higher than hers. On the other hand men should be overly confident, aggressive, dominant, and view women beneath them. This paper uses various readings to show how these gender norms are supported and challenged in today’s society.

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

From an early age, our society begins to construct gender identities. Males are pressed to learn “suitable” gender roles in accordance to the masculine expectations our society has created. This means from a very early age boys are taught what it means to be a man. Porter’s way to explain masculine socialization is through what is known as the “man box.” Inside the box is a list of socially valued expectations that compose what manhood is about. The box includes expectations/guidelines such as, “don’t cry or openly express emotions (with the exception of anger), do not show weakness or fear, demonstrate power control especially over women (aggression dominance), be a protector, do not be “like a woman,” be heterosexual, do not be “like a gay man,” be tough, athletic, and strong, do not need help, and view women as property/objects.” This idea of manhood is instilled in young boys head and continues to stay with them for the rest of their lives. A fear

To begin with, we have to distinguish the important values and attitude of different two communities. One stereotype is that power and status are important in the male-community, but cooperation and networks are significant in the female-community. For instance, in childhood, boys often fight with their peers and try to win in order to show stronger power and higher status than others. Otherwise, girls rarely quarrel with friends; rather they make a community and cooperate with one another for certain purposes. Also, men are living in hierarchical life and continuously struggle to defend their status in society, whereas women like to show intimacy and similarity. Moreover, men value independence and create distance, while women tend to make close relationships

How one communicates is also influenced by gender. Studies show that ones sex can place a person in a gender role expectation. Women and Men communicate differently and because sexual identity is defined through same sex parent or role model, women and men can get into gender role expectations. These expectations influence their perception attitudes and behavior that will result in a communication style. This early self-concept can effect each one's interpersonal relations. Women for instance are much-attached human beings they have very early identification with their mothers, and this can cause an on going pattern of role expectation. It can lead to interpersonal communication skills that are very nurturing and understanding. Women are not threatened by intimacy and communicating at a close range with people. Similarly, men also have an early identification process not with their mother, but their fathers. Men tend to be fairly reserved, and quite. Men are most comfortable when there is a level of separation. This male role will contribute to the communication processes and it can cause communication to

Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women

Women with strong masculine traits often receive similar criticism; women are expected to behave differently than men. One study found that in professional business environments women were more likely to disclose chronic illness and find social support, while men were expected to maintain composure and not stray from the task at hand (Munir, Price, Haslam, Leka, & Griffiths, 2006). To further highlight this difference between genders on the disclosure of personal information, women who score high in feminine traits are more likely to become emotionally invested and disclose personal information about themselves in conversations with acquaintances (Shaffer, Pegalis, & Cornell, 2001).

In response to what we have discussed thus far in Interpersonal Communication, I would like to further explore the idea of gender in the interpersonal communication arena. As was said in class, ”gender influences cultural perspectives.” Gender also influences how we view ourselves in society. On the flip side, I’ve seen how society can mold the way we label ourselves in terms of gender.

There exists a disparity in the communication phenomenon between men and women. This disparity according to scholars can be attributed to the male dominance in the society today and relationship tensions between couples. A study on cross-sex conversations showed that, when men and women engage in a friendly conversation, they do so as equals but they do not play the same roles in the communication. Women tend to ask more questions and likely to utter utterances that encourage responses from the other speaker. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to interrupt their partner’s conversations and make direct opinions and facts to control or dominate the conversation. Thus, the communication phenomenon between men and women is strikingly distinct.

How one communicates is also influenced by gender. Studies show that ones sex can place a person in a gender role expectation. Women and Men communicate differently and because sexual identity is defined through same sex parent or role model, women and men can get into gender role expectations. These expectations influence their perception attitudes and behavior that will result in a communication style. This early self-concept can effect each one's interpersonal relations. Women for instance are much-attached human beings they have very early identification with their mothers, and this can cause an on going pattern of role expectation. It can lead to interpersonal

Functionalism is one of the major theoretical perspectives in sociology which explains how social order is possible or how society remains relatively stable.