Is Gay Ever Since The Age Of Ten?

As a child I suffered tremendously with confusion, self hatred, and misunderstanding about my own sexuality. Growing up queer in a small town is never an easy thing. I went through years of denial, and hid all of my thoughts about what I thought could be. I was so muddled in an all too common train of thought that my first conclusion was that I was incapable of loving another human being. Having never experienced honest crushes or any emotional or physical attraction to the opposite sex, I was very frightened for my ability to one day have a family. This thought put me into a mode of paranoia and panic. I began to search any place I could for any other possibility, hoping for some form of medication or therapy to ail me of what I thought was a mental illness. After only a few minutes at the computer, I realized there was nothing wrong with my mind, or capability to love. I am just gay.

Social aspects of my life would teach me that being homosexual or bisexual was wrong, but others (while living in Palm Springs, Ca.) taught me that it was completely normal to have such sexual orientations. I have lived in California my whole life which has always had heavy, heated debates about allowing same sex marriages, allowing homosexuals in the military, and fighting for homosexual equality, so the history behind my state has made me grow up to be comfortable around gays even with the disturbing things I had been subjected to while I was growing up in Palm Springs. This class has now taught me many things I did not know about when it comes to the psychological aspects of being homosexual or bisexual, but I am still a heterosexual, and comfortable with it.

For the next two years I struggled with the concept that I might actually be gay. By junior I was certain that I was in fact all the things that I was called in middle school, but because of the negative memories I decided it was a secret that I was better of keeping to myself. That was until the spring semester of my senior year in high school when I decided that I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. I would no longer allow people to scare me into being anything other then what I wanted to be I would live my life openly and honestly. On the evening of February 16, 2014 I came out as Gay on literally every social media platform I owned. The following morning, to my surprise, my classmates for the most part greeted me with open arms. As I walked from class to class I received a staggering amount of compliments and support. I was quite frankly overwhelmed when I did get a negative comment and a dozen people rushed to my

Around my middle school years, I knew something about myself was unique, but I could not quite put my finger on it. No one in my family was gay, the word gay was rarely spoken and I did not even know queerness existed. My family lived a very heteronormative lifestyle and I always assumed I would marry a girl and have children. I remember very clearly a day when I was in sixth grade, I was standing in the hallway after class and someone asked me, “are you gay?” I did not know how to react, I did not even know what the word “gay” meant. I immediately replied “NO” as the term gay was always used synonymously with stupid. After school that day, I asked my grandma what it meant to be gay and she described what it mean to be gay. In that moment,

I was crippled and trapped between choosing what my society had taught me, what was considered to be right, and what I thought was better for me. Prior to summer academy and my immigration to the United States, I had a problem finding my true self in matters like accepting homosexuality. My thoughts and my judgments were corrupt in a sense that my reaction towards such people was solemnly based on what I had been taught. I was born and raised in an environment where homosexuality was considered to be an abomination and unlawful. After immigrating to the United States, I had little to no encounters with people who considered themselves as gay or lesbian etc. Unfortunately for me, upon attending the summer program, I was paired with a person who considered himself to be gay. Initially, every thought I had was filled with ignorance and closed mindedness. But then as time progressed and my grade depended on his effort, I decided to put all the negativity and what I knew aside and tried to learn something from this friend. By the end of the program, I found out that this person was just like me: funny, amiable, sociable and essentially the difference that existed between him and me, was our sexual

As a nine-year-old girl I knew I was not “normal”. I didn’t like boys the way my friends did and I would always push my thoughts about girls away because it was “wrong”. At fourteen I started to come to terms with who I was. The thought of being a lesbian in high school petrified me. I thought I would never be able to openly be myself, I would lose friends and everyone would see me differently. The thought of finding love never crossed my mind because I never knew how I would tell a complete stranger that I was a lesbian. My family was extremely supportive after the initial

Published by the Huffington Post, 20 year old Austin Fisher voices his process of coming out in his article entitled “The 3 Sides to my Coming Out Story”. I choose to analyze and reflect on this text for I believe it displays various situations and perceptions in response to one coming out. The author starts by explaining how he came to terms with himself. When Fisher was younger he idolized his brother’s bravery for announcing his homosexuality to the world. This planted a seed in Fisher’s mind that would not seem to stop growing. Though deep down he knew he was gay, he was not ready to admit it to himself or the outside world. Instead, Fisher suppressed his “gay side” and reinvented himself. He got a girlfriend and views “coming out” as overrated, for Fisher views it as unfair and unjust that because of his inherently “wrong” sexualtity he has to go through an emotional process of explaining who he is attracted to the people he loves.

I’m gay. I didn’t want to be for a long time, but what I’ve come to realize is that there’s no reason for me to dislike who I am. I’m an intelligent, compassionate young man. I’m funny (at times) and have ambitions and goals. I want to teach United States history and coach high school football. I want to help educate the future generations of this country. I’ve worked full time factory jobs, minimum wage part time jobs, and most of what’s in between. I enjoy sports, eSports (which I someday hope I don’t have to distinguish from sports, but that’s a conversation for another time) and spending time with my friends. I am a perfectly normal, wonderful human being… and I am gay.

My first experience with someone who was gay, it was easy to accept. I grew up in a very open home that told me it was okay to be who you are. Once I asked my friend how he knew he was gay, he told me he tried to date girls but he was not comfortable in a relationship with a girl. However later in high school he began to grow feelings for a mutual male friend. That moment he knew who he was then sophomore year he came out as openly gay. From what I saw from this is to prove a point he did not choose to be gay but found his sexual identity. He always says I was born this

“Coming out” is a means of identifying one’s sexual orientation as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. At its most basic, “coming out of the closet,” means being honest with those around you—friends, family, colleagues, and so forth—about your sexual orientation, about whom you are. It also means acknowledging one’s sexual orientation to self. Such disclosure is an ongoing, lifelong process rather than a one-time event. New personal, social, and professional situations require gay men and lesbians to make decisions about the degree to which they can be open about their sexual orientation (Morrow, 1996).

Growing up everyone is told that they are unique. “Be yourself,” “use your God-given talent,” and other expressions such as these impress the aforementioned narrative into our minds. Thus, when I was around thirteen years old, I thought my sexuality was just a part of me that only I had. I wanted to share this feature about myself; I wanted to take pride in it and show it off. Coming out to a close few friends showed positive and emotional responses. Riding on this high, I was ready to embrace myself in high school. Yet, my naivety took the best of me as I was going to an all male, religious high school. My sexuality has provided me with experiences that have and will continue to shape my life. These struggles, whether they are internal or external, have provided me with invaluable skills.

The sexual orientation identity development is a theoretical model that conceptualized the resolution of internal conflict related to the formation of individual sexual identity. For sexual minority people, it is commonly known as the coming-out process (Bilodeau & Renn 2005). There have been many different models elaborated to explain such process. All of them share similar stages: awareness, crisis, and acceptance (Loiacano 1989). When individuals become aware of their queer feelings and attraction, they try to block these homosexual feelings by constantly denying and minimizing them. This mechanism of defense leaves negative sequelae in their overall psychosocial well-being (Bilodeau & Renn 2005). Individuals tend to pass by a

Many use their middle and high school years as a path of self-discovery, whether they know it or not. Like most people, I spent most of my life feeling I was like everyone else that was around me: cisgender and heterosexual. In middle school, I began to learn that there was even such a thing as having a different sexuality, though at that age it was all being ridiculed in front of me, and I shrugged the whole ordeal off as being something that had never and would

Growing up gay during adolescence, a time when a sense of self is being developed, realization of who you really are, is often not possible for young gay men. Being different, not seeing yourself in characters on television or in books, or knowing a gay couple living in a long term relationship deepens your doubts of being accepted by your family or friends for who you are on the inside. Hiding feelings of attraction toward other males while trying to cope with male hormones is a challenge. This means trying to fit in, run with the guys, pretend you are interested in the opposite sex, basically measure up to society’s hyper-masculine ideal. Feeling awkward in a life that feels foreign to you, but gives you praise and acceptance doesn’t increase your self- esteem, it cultivates confusion, shame and fear that you

Many LGTBTQ people struggle with identity when they are young. Some tell their parents how they really feel and others choose to “stay in the closet”. Either way, the transition for most people is not easy. The panel leaders at the discussion expressed their different journeys of when they “came out” and how family and friends reacted. One of the panel leaders said that when she told her parents that she was gay, they immediately did not want to talk about it. Some other panel leaders said that their parents blew up about it at first and now they have become more accepting. Some of the common phrases that most friends and family members have told them were “it is just a phase”, “you have not been with the right man yet”, and “you are going to hell”. Most of the panel leaders said that when they “came out” it put a strain on their family relationships. The transgender woman said that she has not been to any Thanksgiving or Christmas gatherings because of the rejection she has felt from her family. She also does not really speak to her dad anymore. Another panel leader, who is a lesbian, said that her mom has met her girlfriend but is still not that accepting of her lifestyle. She said her mom’s biggest question is “Are you going to marry a woman?’. She also does not like to be around her extended family because they always “throw bible scriptures at her”. One thing I found interesting was that all the panelists had in common was that they all have had issues with their family acceptance of who they are, but they feel like they have found a home within the LGBTQ community here at Mississippi State. This is important because Mississippi State embraces diversity. Even though there is still more work to be done to increase diversity and inclusion, many people still can find an organization they can identify with and grow as a person in their own beliefs and